Extremely Weird Week

**KatZee** · 02-27-2013 07:51 PM

I'm really confused why this is happening now.

Basically, my boyfriend broke up with me 10 months ago. I've gone through the grieving, and happy to say I'm over him. When we were together, I never dreamed of him. When we broke up, I never dreamed of him.

This past week I've been having very vivid dreams. Not only of him, but of his family members. I'll try to keep this as concise as possible.

Night 1: The first dream was of my ex's grandmother. I had gotten close to her over a period of three years. In the dream she was sitting in a room, and she asked me what had happened between her grandson and I-- as if she was never told the real story. All I said was, "He didn't want me." And she said comfortingly, "You're going to be OK. It's all about what you're learning."

And then I woke up. I had NEVER dreamed of her before. I got a kind of weird feeling. Like what if she was in ill health or has passed? She is elderly and not in good health.

Night 2: I was in my ex's house and invited for dinner. I saw his brother and was goofing off. All of a sudden the door opens and this girl walks in. Younger than me, about 23. She's wearing a blue dress. She's introduced as my ex's new girlfriend named "Nicole." The dream jumps to me sitting at the dinner table with my ex's family. His new girlfriend is sitting across from me, my ex is sitting next to me. Again, I see my ex's grandmother. She sees me, starts to cry and embraces me. It's apparent she's missed me being around the family. My ex's new girlfriend has tears coming from her eyes because she sees how much the family likes me, and how much they miss me and how close I am to them.

My ex stands up and makes a toast saying that he's going to marry his new girlfriend. Her name changes here and she's now "Zoe." They haven't been together long, about 3-4 months. There is some clapping, but his grandmother leans to someone and says, "He's just trying to scare us. It won't happen." I proceed to tell his girlfriend all about how he is a liar, he is a cheater, and in time she will see him for what he really is. Despite me calling him out to his new girlfriend, my ex doesn't hate me. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him.

Night 3: My ex has been admitted to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He's laying in bed, vomiting. His father makes his appearance, we start talking and he says I need to come by the house to catch up. My ex hears this and smiles slightly. His step-mother is sitting in the chair across from the bed and she hands me a box of blue tissues. Telling me that I have to give them to him. I go over to my ex and he is crying with the blankets over his head. I tell him that he's in this position because he's an abuser (of alcohol) and he says that this was all his fault (us not being together). It feels like we're having a moment, I get up and his step-mother says, "just remember what it was like being with him." And I say, "I do remember. I don't miss this at all." I go back to my ex and he's crying and taking responsibility for us failing. I say, "just tell me. Did you even want me?"

And then my alarm woke me up.

A couple things I've noticed-- His grandmother has made two appearances. The color blue has been very prominent in two of the dreams. That is the only color which has stuck out both times. Blue dress, blue tissues. I looked up the color blue and it says it could mean your spirit guides are communicating with you. Is this correct?

His entire family has made appearances and this is strange because I've NEVER... emphasis on the NEVER have had a dream about any of them. I've never had such vivid dreams about my ex either. We dated for three years, I've known him for about 4. I'm over the relationship. I don't have any contact or communication with him, or his family. He is blocked on e-mail/Facebook, and I don't communicate with mutual friends, I have no access to his life, pictures, information. NOTHING. The dreams do not upset me or hit me on an emotional level either.

WHAT is going on???

**JoannaB** · 02-27-2013 08:16 PM

Personally, I think your mind is trying to "get over him" or "resolve some unresolved issues or regrets." you said you never dreamed of him after the breakup, maybe at that time it was still too raw, but now you are ready to cope. The color blue could also be like "feeling blue" - maybe your subconscious has some regrets over the breakup. Which does not mean that breaking up was wrong, or even that your subconscious regrets the breaking up actually, but it could be that you have regrets that break ups are needed, maybe your mind wishes you were in a relationship and that this relationship had turned out better than it had. 3 years is a long time to have been with someone, and it's got to leave some emotional baggage when it ends, I would think.

The scene where he introduces you to his new fiancée reminds me of a scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally, when she finds out that her ex is getting married and is upset, and Harry asks something like whether she would want to marry him, and the answer is an emphatic no, but she is upset because she was expecting the new woman to be just the rebound girl not "the one." maybe part of your mind wonders whether he has met someone new, and whether she is the one.

After 3 years together maybe part of you had hoped that he would be the one for you, and when it did not work out, your mind may be grieving over the possibility of having a family with him - not necessarily because you actually want him back or actually are missing his family.

Does that make any sense to you?

PS: If this does not make any sense to you, then it may well not be the right explanation. :-)

**KatZee** · 02-27-2013 08:33 PM

I mean, I guess that makes sense? But I didn't bottle up emotion back when it happened, I resolved to get over him and to face the issues, get through the anger, the sadness, and all the stages of grief to move on.

Of course I thought I would marry him, I did love him but at the end I found out things about him which were just not good, and he is not a person I would marry or even date at this point. I have no nostalgia toward him, at this point for me, it's like that song... "He's just somebody that I used to know."

I feel like this dream would make sense if I was still hurting, still emotional over it, missing him, missing his family. But there's NONE of that. I haven't had that in months. I've been doing really well in life with friends, job, and looking to start getting back into dating.

I sometimes have precognitive dreams, I'm wondering if this week is a bunch of them. Usually my dreams are pretty weird and random. These were very clear straight forward dreams, where his grandmother came to me twice with the same emotional behavior, and then his step mother warning me to "remember what it was like dating him."

I feel like I'm being talked to via spirit guide, or higher power... like something's going to happen soon. Be ready for it, and remember why you've moved on...I'm a spiritualist though, so. haha.

**JoannaB** · 02-27-2013 08:53 PM

Ah, but see, my explanation was not suggesting that you are not over him and his family. You may well be over him quite thoroughly, and completely, but what your mind may not be over is the hope of building a family with someone, and rather than provide you a dream of faceless guy and his family and your wishing you were with faceless guy, the dream provided you with his face and the faces of his family because your mind does not yet have another face to fill in, and yet the yearning for being in a long term relationship with a man who is willing to incorporate you into his family is there. Frankly, I think this set of dreams may actually not be about him at all but about your desire for a long term relationship and family.

**KatZee** · 02-27-2013 09:00 PM

But in these dreams, it's everyone missing ME and not the other way around. In my dreams I was actually very aloof about it. When his grandmother asked what happened I merely shrugged and said he didn't want me. And when his other family members were saying I should come catch up, I never gave a response.

Also, in my waking real life I don't have a desire for a long term relationship or family. Just the other day I was sitting and thinking about how much of a commitment phobe I am right now because I would hate to be trapped in a marriage/relationship for the rest of my life. I've been having way too much fun single!

ahhhh stupid dreams lol.

**JoannaB** · 02-27-2013 09:09 PM

Ok, so maybe this dream is simply about what you just said, about your being a commitment phone right now.

So your mind is supplying you a set of nightmares of commitments and families and people missing you, and your subconscious is telling you "deal with it, you are scared of relationships right now, so boo!" Could that be it?

**KatZee** · 02-27-2013 09:15 PM

No, I don't feel that's it at all. i wasn't freaked out in my dream. More or less I felt like things had come full circle and it was what it was. But everyone else was missing me, and my ex was full of regret and abusing alcohol (which he actually does in real life) because of his problems.

**JoannaB** · 02-27-2013 09:31 PM

Ok, in that case. I am afraid I have run out of ideas.

Although there is always the possibility that is does not make any sense because it is not meant to: what if the first night's dream was some weird fluke of your subconscious making weird connections that could never make sense to your conscious mind, and then the following dreams were your mind's unsuccessful attempts at making sense of the first dream? Lol

That's my last Idea for now though. I hope somebody else comes along with a better one. :-)