Please help me.

[MLC83]

For the past 24 years, I have had nothing but apocalyptic dreams. I was 6 when I remembered my first dream. I am now 30. At that time, I had a dream of a volcanic eruption that destroyed the world right before my eyes. During that part of my life, I was in a happy home. No violence, no death. No worries or cares in the world. My dreams continued to become more severe. Floods, tornadoes, meteors laying waste to the Earth. I continued to have these dreams throughout my life. I don't remember any part of my life where they were worse, just consistent. All the time. Last night, I was woken up from a dream in a state of panic. Off in the distance, I saw a volcano just blow itself up in a distance mountain. As the smoke and ash came towards us, we ran. But, after we ran, the dream shifted into a dark place where we were surrounded by mountains exploding in every direction. Fire, ash, smoke. It was everywhere. These are dreams I have constantly. Dreams of multiple tornadoes destroying everything in it's path, dreams of being in a "concentration camp" and having to escape from the "Anti-Christ." Another, being in the middle of a war in the mountains with fire raining down from the sky. I've also had dreams to where I watched in the distance of a volcano eruption. Not much, just lava flowing, but it was dark. I was in a house, watching the news and watching the chaos outside my window. When I had woken up, I was in a state of panic, but what happened when I fell back asleep? I went RIGHT back to the place I left off. Literally in the same spot, same dream. It's gotten to the point where the only dreams I have are of destruction. Sure, my life hasn't been the best for the past couple of years, but when it has been a reoccurring thing for many years, it's starting to bother me. The other night, I had woken up in a state of panic. I was in a building. It was getting dark, but the sky kept lighting up. The clouds turned purple and pink. But, then the sky stayed lit even though it was dark. Inside the building, it was dark. I grabbed a lantern (yes, that's what was in my dream. ) and held it close to the window. The clouds turned into some sort of smoke type skull faces. When I came closer to one, it looked right at me. I have no idea why I did this in my dream, but I gave it a "scary face." I think I was trying to intimidate it? I don't know. When that had happened, it starred right back at me and gave me this insanely, sadistic, face. I backed up scared and then woke up. When I had woken up, I looked immediately behind me. My living room was dark and I usually sleep with my TV on in the living room. Noise and light for the hallway. I noticed my TV was off. Now, my Dish network is on single mode. Meaning, whatever is playing in 'either' room, plays in both. So, while my TV was working in my room on the same channel it was supposed to be on in the living room, it wasn't. The TV was on, but no picture. Walked into the living room. Changed the channel. Both changed, and then the picture came back. Silly situation, yes. But I woke up to my heart racing. In 2011, my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I took a nap one day. My dream consisted of my brother holding me back in his arms while I was kicking and screaming, yelling at a doctor in a hospital. When I had woken up, that brother who was holding me, called me to tell me my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. I have no happy dreams. My friends say it's life, change, anxiety, etc; I also have a slightly enlarged heart due to "broken heart syndrome" of my Dad's death in 2012. I was told that my heart issues, not severe, could cause such issues. Heart rate, etc; But if it's occurred this many times throughout my life, even at happy times, how are these normal? Fire, tornadoes, floods, panic, asteroids. Even aliens. Yes, aliens. Does anyone have an explanation to what these dreams may mean? I'm looking to figure out what this is all about and try to get myself to a point where I can sleep peacefully without having nightmares.

[sparkley]

Maybe your life is going through some changes like things you don't want. It might be anxiety because I somewhat have it (not that bad) and I have apocalyptic dreams like once or twice every month. Or it could be something else that's bugging you.

[RavenOfShadow]

Well first off this is incredibly interesting, and my deepest condolences about your father. I believe what we are dealing with here is an example of "expectation" and "reverse psychology". I'm sure you're tired of hearing people say "oh you're just anxious"..."Oh its a time of change"..."Something is bothering you", because NO ONE is going through rapid and massive changes throughout their entire life since they were six, you even said yourself you are not. All I'm about to say is speculative and my best guess, I'm no doctor I just play one on TV: You say that you remember the dream you had when you were six. That's very telling of how deep an impact it had on you, and I am quite positive that the following night little six-year-old you said "I don't want to go to bed, I'll have bad dreams again about the world ending". Low and behold, you had another bad dream, and six-year-old you said "man, this sleeping thing isn't working out. Every time I dream something terrible happens!" This continues for a month and POW - Expectation. One of the first things lucid dreamers learn is to build expectation for lucid dreaming - it won't happen unless you believe it will. To learn this, lucid dreaming students practice Mantras and All Day Awareness, or ADA. Mantras are the act of repeating something until you believe it, or until you are focused on the task at hand. One of the most basic steps of becoming lucid is to repeat to yourself "I will lucid dream, I am dreaming, I have control, I will lucid dream, I am dreaming..." etc., etc. Ok, but how does this have anything to do with my catastrophic nightmares? I believe that you have had a continuous mantra since you were six. While you may not have said it out loud, you constantly think, "Wow, I ALWAYS have catastrophic dreams!" That is some impressive expectation training right there, and I actually envy you for the consistency. This is also where the reverse psychology comes in. You say "I BETTER NOT have a bad dream!" so of course the first thing the damn human brain does is make you think about it and dream about it. So where do I go from here? First I want to ask a question: Do you remember your dreams every night, or do you only remember apocalypse dreams say... three, four, or five times a week? I ask this because untrained dreamers only remember dreams that are either scarring or absolutely elating; dreams that make you tell other people, or wake up and go "wow I can't believe that, I should store that to memory because I'm thinking about it so much". If its every night, thats unfortunate but also a blessing. If its NOT every night, thats also fortunate. If it is NOT every night, you need to start keeping a dream journal. It is entirely possible that you have completely mundane and "normal" dreams, but that you simply don't remember them because you've never taken a dream journal. I assume you don't keep one, because who needs one when all you ever dream about is the end of the world? If this is the case, START ONE TONIGHT! Write down every single tiny detail you can remember. Who were you talking to when E.T decided to detonate the volcanoes? What color was your shirt? What town were you in? What type of car were you driving? What emotions were you feeling? After a week or two, you'll start remembering your dreams. Not the ones right before you wake up, but the two you had BEFORE that. The ones where you went to the grocery store and the biggest catastrophe was that the deli isle had become a livestock pig pen. If its EVERYNIGHT, then its time to learn about dream signs! Most people train for months to learn their dream signs. Mine happens to be my teeth falling out, and you can bet that took a while to pick up on. But look at you! EVERY DREAM you dream is about the end of the world! So here is your checklist: Is the world ending? If yes, you're dreaming! After a few weeks or months of lucid learning and technique building, you will be able to become lucid and erase your dream, start fresh. Or you could even try turning superhero and saving the planet. IN CONCLUSION (TL;DR) Your whole dream life has been a continuous mantra of "I will have a terrible apocalypse dream tonight" that has built the most impressive expectation I've seen in a while. START a new mantra! "I will pick flowers in a field, I will lucid dream, if the world ends, I will know I'm dreaming." START a dream journal! This will let you remember the mundane dreams you had before your world ending one. Everyone has at least two dreams a night in a regular nights sleep, so learning that not all of your dreams are bad will help immensely. WRITE EVERY DETAIL! PRACTICE Lucid dreaming, awareness, and you will soon pick up on your incredibly easy and obvious dream sign! You are born to be a lucid dreamer! STOP telling yourself that you only dream about the world ending! START telling yourself that you will dream about whatever you want! LET me know if this helps ~Raven