Help! Who has experience with chronic anxiety?

[RebelSeven]

My sister is a very anxious person she has been her whole life and she has managed it pretty well on her own. In the last two years her daily anxiety level has relatively stayed the same but the occurrence of anxiety dreams has risen sharply. It is nearly a nightly occurrence now. In the last year she got her first job as a third grade teacher and many of these stress dreams revolve around protecting her students. Besides that, the most common subjects are her family and her fiance. She believes she is continuing to handle the stress but i see the lack of restful sleep and the deteriorating affect its having on her health. She wont consider therapy yet, but she knows of my interest in dreams and she is willing to follow advice from me as far as it centers on managing her anxiety dreams. I have suggested she take a week to keep a notebook by her bed, and just before going to sleep she will write down all distracting thoughts and reminders for the nagging thoughts of what she has left unfinished. She will put the notebook in a box and tell herself that everything is put away and she is free to rest. What I need are ideas and techniques in managing your anxiety. Preferably ones that have already been tested. Keep in mind anxiety has been with her since childhood, suggestions of "getting to the root" of her problem are not likely to be helpful.

[dolphin]

Google defines mindfulness as "a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique." It sounds like practicing mindfulness would be is a good idea. Try to calmly acknowledge and accept the anxiety and nightmares rather than trying to push them away. Try to see the anxiety and nightmares as a good thing as much as possible. Yay, anxiety! Yay, nightmares! I have adopted this mindset in the past and have had success with it.

[JoannaB]

Well, my main experience is not as much with anxiety but more with depression, though the two have often gone hand in hand. I think using bad dreams as signs that something is wrong in waking life is good, and while one can do some repair work in dream work, but I think it makes sense to also try to repair waking life. My suggestion for your sister would be to try yoga, especially either after work or right before sleep. It has a calming effect. I recently successfully combated some insomnia with yoga, but I bet it would also help with anxiety dreams. There are lots of good yoga DVDs out there and even some free tutorials on YouTube.

[RebelSeven]

Thank you for your suggestions! I agree that not being "in the present" is a root of her anxiety which mindfulness and yoga both correct. What concrete techniques can you suggest that a non-meditator can apply? Yoga is something my sister has always enjoyed and while she got out of the habit during her last year of school she picked it back up in the last 6 months, she practices both in a group and solitary and in general gets a healthy dose of exercise. I should also mention that she takes the time to be in nature, she has a healthy organic diet, and she is a relatively assertive and passionate person. She DOES NOT express her anxiety in negative or compulsive actions beyond being critical and sensitive in only matters that affect her.

[JoannaB]

How about "Yoga Nidra" meditation? If you google it, there are YouTube videos of various length. It's one of those meditation styles where one shifts focus from finger tips to wrist to elbows etc. Also another idea: Tai Chi. It is a kind of meditation in motion, very slow movements, very relaxing. For that I would recommend the DVD Body wisdom Tai Chi for Beginners as a good way to start.

[RebelSeven]

Thank @JoannaB you I'll take a look! I know in general these practices are relaxing and assist with sleep, do you know any such exercises that focus on stress in dreams specifically?

[dolphin]

Anytime you experience anxious thoughts, STOP. S-Stop whatever you're doing. T-Take a deep breath. Relax. O-Know you can overcome whatever is happening. P-Think positive thoughts. Proceed with this positive mindset.

[JoannaB]

Thank @JoannaB you I'll take a look! I know in general these practices are relaxing and assist with sleep, do you know any such exercises that focus on stress in dreams specifically? If you google "Yoga nidra sleep" or "guided meditation sleep" and look in Videos, there are lots. I think though that any relaxation type practice done right before sleep can help with sleep. However, targeting stress in sleep only may be counterproductive because our dreams are a reflection of our overall mindset and well being: I do not believe it is possible to have anxiety dreams and not have anxiety during waking. Dreams and waking life are connected, and dreams are a reflection of one's state of mind. Anxious dreams are a sign that there is anxiety overall.

[RebelSeven]

Thank you! There is definitely anxiety overall and they are obviously connected but it would never be counterproductive to try and lessen her anxiety wherever we can. Unfortunately she is not a fan of meditation and I can only influence her so much. I am only getting as much leeway as I have because she knows I am a well-informed dreamer and the anxiety dreams are getting worse.

[JoannaB]

Hmm, do you think you could get away with sending her a link to one of the Yoga Nidra sleep YouTube videos, and not call it meditation but an extension of yoga practice? Also I wonder whether you could introduce her to the MILD technique from lucid dream practice which is fundamentally about increasing mindfulness especially right before sleep and setting intensions for a good night? Edit: Another idea: she could try dream incubation, so plan ahead of time a pleasant dream, think what she would like to dream, and ensure that those are her last waking thoughts.