First lucid dream about recently deceased, not sure how to deal with this or what it means

**kh15** · 11-06-2011 01:07 AM

Just wanted to thank everyone in advance for taking the time to read my post and give me some advice. Im going to try and give you a quick background and then tell you about the dream I had last night that woke me up in tears.

Im 24 years old and definitely don't have a history of lucid dreaming. In the rare event that I even have a dream they are always very abstract and completely un comprehensible when i wake up.

I have a really close friend that I consider more of a sister than anything. She recently moved halfway across the country and its been hard without her around. I have not seen her in a few months but we still talk quite regularly. Yesterday she sent me a quick text while I was out of town that said 'im back in CT my grandmother just passed away, call you when I get a chance". My stomach hit the floor when I read it and even though I had only met her grandmother twice it was hard knowing that she had to go through and deal with this terrible lose.

So fast forward to last night...go to bed like normal, wasn't upset or really thinking about the situation to much. Next think I know I'm waking up at 5am in tears. This was my dream...

Im at her apartment in Houston, kneeling on the couch facing the back with my arms hanging over the edge. There is a coffee table with a small lip running around the edge of it at my feet in front of the couch. For some reason its filled with crystal stem ware from her wedding that a few months ago. The table was packed with it and had these empty wine glasses of all shapes and sizes on it. My friend who was standing behind the couch took a step toward me and I asked her "what time did your grandmother pass?" It took 3 tires to get it out because I was cautious in asking because I was unsure if she was ready to talk about it. Her eyes teared up and she handed me her hand at the same time I went to grab it. I had it clasped in both my hands as I rested it on the back of the couch, she took a moment and said "8:30, 830 last night". Then with out missing a beat we were both startled by a very quick hum from one of the wine glasses, the exact same low pitched hum you can make by running a damp finger along the rim of an empty wine glass. My friend pulled her hand away and walked over to the table and just said "she's here" and then I woke up upset and completely freaked out!

I have never in my life been able to remember a dream so vividly and real. I've been thinking about it all day and its hard to re play it in my mind with out getting emotional. I don't know what it means and I don't know whether or not to tell my friend. I have not spoken with her yet and I'm not sure the details of her grandmothers passing like the time, etc. I helped her plan her wedding quite a bit and I remember her telling me that she's happy her grandmother will be around to see her get married and thats the only thing I can tie back into my dream.

For those of you that stuck with my long post thank you again, it really means a lot! I tried not to make it long but I felt the content was important!

Best,
Karl

**Naiya** · 11-06-2011 02:21 AM

Wow, that sounds like a very intense dream.

I have heard many people who have dreamed about a loved one appearing after dying, or even just someone they know who has recently died. They often come to say they're okay, or that they are happy or moved on. I've met my deceased relatives in dreams in the past, and it was very emotional.

I think that it's up to you about whether or not you should tell your friend about it. If you do, you may want to wait until the shock wears off and she has gone through the grieving process. It really depends on how open she is to those kinds of things and how sensitive she is feeling at the time. Sometimes, people don't want to hear anything about another person's dreams or another persons feelings because they still need to deal with their own feelings. So just be careful about when and how you talk to her about it. Personally, I think it would be good to tell her about it eventually. At the very least it conveys your deep sympathy for her loss.

**unda** · 11-06-2011 02:40 AM

Just to point out, it seems like you might not know what a lucid dream is. A lucid dream is not just a vivid dream, it's a dream in which you become aware that you're dreaming whilst it's happening, since you didn't mention that happening in the dream it sounds like it was just a normal dream. Regardless, sometimes the emotion in dreams can be amazing, and this was obviously related to your sadness at your friend's loss. You're the best placed person to judge whether you should tell your friend or not, maybe, as Naiya said, she'll appreciate that it shows you care.

**Naiya** · 11-06-2011 02:51 AM

Originally Posted by unda

Just to point out, it seems like you might not know what a lucid dream is. A lucid dream is not just a vivid dream, it's a dream in which you become aware that you're dreaming whilst it's happening, since you didn't mention that happening in the dream it sounds like it was just a normal dream. Regardless, sometimes the emotion in dreams can be amazing, and this was obviously related to your sadness at your friend's loss. You're the best placed person to judge whether you should tell your friend or not, maybe, as Naiya said, she'll appreciate that it shows you care.

Oh yeah, I forgot this. Thanks unda.

I've seen a lot of people confuse vivid dreams with lucid dreams. The terms seem to be used interchangeably in some media, unfortunately. :x

**kh15** · 11-06-2011 04:05 AM

I apologize for the mix up in terms. I didn't realize it was a dream until I woke up, for all I knew it was really happening. It was just so real and out of the blue, like I said I have literally never had a dream like this before and to be honest im not sure I ever want to again.

I would like to tell me friend because I feel like she should know simply because It was about her and her grandmother and Im not really sure my role in the whole thing. It shall I come with time I suppose.

Do you guys and gals look for meanings in your dreams or just enjoy the process of dreaming in general? Is it rare to have a dream like i did?

**Naiya** · 11-06-2011 04:20 AM

Don't worry about the mix-up, it's pretty common.

A dream like the one you had is rare for me as well...I feel that dreams often have deep meanings to them. There are some that just seem to be a random jumble of the day's events, but imo in general dreams are not meaningless. And the more you pay attention to them, the more your mind realizes that, so it starts giving you more vivid and meaningful messages in your dreams. I think that it's important to look at the emotions you felt during the dream. It tells you a lot about what it might mean.

**unda** · 11-07-2011 01:34 AM

Originally Posted by kh15

I apologize for the mix up in terms. I didn't realize it was a dream until I woke up, for all I knew it was really happening. It was just so real and out of the blue, like I said I have literally never had a dream like this before and to be honest im not sure I ever want to again.

I would like to tell me friend because I feel like she should know simply because It was about her and her grandmother and Im not really sure my role in the whole thing. It shall I come with time I suppose.

Do you guys and gals look for meanings in your dreams or just enjoy the process of dreaming in general? Is it rare to have a dream like i did?

No problem! As Naiya said, it's common, and understandable given the meaning of the word lucid.

I don't think you should feel obligated to tell your friend, you should only tell her if you think that it will help her in some way, or that she'll appreciate hearing it. Everyone has their own interpretation of their dreams, the fact is there's no reason to assume the dream had some kind of cryptic message, everyone dreams about their current concerns. You're perhaps not aware of this as you said you rarely dream, but everybody dreams several times each night, there's plenty of evidence for it, it's just that we often don't remember our dreams. That being the case, we all have thousands of dreams in our life that we don't ever remember, so there's no reason to think that just because you happened to remember this one it was any more significant. That's not to take anything away from the dream - it's obviously had a profound effect on you and that in itself means that the dream is valuable, it's just that your friend might not see it the same way. As I said in my previous post, you're in the best position to judge whether she'll want to hear it.

Since you asked, personally I find dreams fascinating, but I don't look for any cryptic meaning in them, for the reasons I just mentioned. In my experience at least, it is quite rare to have dreams as emotionally charged as the one you had, but I have experienced them and they're quite fascinating.