Going crazy

[Serclfs]

Sometimes while practicing awareness I feel really uncomfortable...it's hard to explain...but at one point I remember feeling as if gravity would suffocate me...I had an early experience with pot once where I remember feeling gravity for the first time. I was scared, I remember not being able to find my balance and the world didn't have an up or down, I was just...there, being pushed against the Earth. It's really hard to articulate.. but I've been having these experiences without any influence from drugs now while performing ADA, like they are always there but my mind chooses to ignore it. I have no doubt I have some mental illness but now I'm concerned that continuing will make it worse. And of course I know one of the answers will be to stop trying to LD using ada but hey....if I'm crazy I might as well be aware that im crazy...ANYWAYS...Am I crazy? I should add I get this while meditating sometimes as well(mostly after)......I've heard there is no negative to meditating so this really pisses me off

[Alucinor XIII]

Well, I'm certainly not a licensed professional, but I don't think you're crazy. Maybe some anxiety issues. Most people go through life on a sort of auto-pilot, concerning themselves with plans of the future, regrets of the past, or totally absorbed in a present task. Worse yet, some of us are absorbed with telling stories to ourselves all day throughout the day, saying "I like this," or " I don't like this," or "That person's looking at me weird" kind of stuff. Awareness, meditation, drugs, and lucid dreaming itself has the effect of snapping you out of this busy-body daze that we are all caught up in. And once your attention is freed of all these other distractions and tasks that we set about, it opens up entirely new avenues for your attention to explore. The feeling of gravity has always been there, you just never noticed it until you smoked some weed to break that task-oriented-focus. Now you're using awareness to intentionally shift your attention to these other avenues. You are, however, getting caught up in this one particular facet of experience. Next time you practice your awareness, instead focus on the feeling of a breeze across your skin, or the warmth of the sun. Try to look at a tree outside and see what it -really- looks like when you take the time to examine it, to actually see it. And its a lie that there are no negatives to meditation. The negatives are just as important as positives when meditating. The point of meditation is to calm your mind of racing thoughts...and then once it has calmed, you can actually keep up with these thoughts, and actually examine them-- when you get better at it, you'll examine them without using words/thoughts . Are they negative thoughts? Look at them without trying to explain them away. Just see the negativity, and understand it. Simply being aware of the underlying reasons will often dispel the discomfort associated with a particular fear/anxiety... over time and with practice. I hope that helped...and that it wasn't tl;dr.

[Sensei]

I agree with Alucinor. Paying attention to the world around us is getting more difficult as we get more and more distractions. You aren't crazy... Probably.

[Alucinor XIII]

Well, I guess I worded that part improperly. When I said "totally absorbed" I meant...going along with the task, not even aware that you are doing it...being on auto-pilot. People do this all the time. I, myself, do it sometimes. However, being totally mindful of a task as you do it is quite different, and being mindful during any task is good practice for meditation. Its all about being aware, not just of the external, but also of the internal, being mindful of your environment in all its complexities, and being mindful of your internal mechanisms and all of its complexities. Here, if you enjoy reading and are interested in meditation, give this a try: Mindfulness in Plain English - 1 to 4 That book was my introduction to formal meditation, and I always spam it to anyone who's interested in taking up the practice.

[Serclfs]

Most people go through life on a sort of auto-pilot, concerning themselves with plans of the future, regrets of the past, or totally absorbed in a present task. Isn't Meditation supposed to make you be more present? Why is being absorbed in a present task bad? I often wash the dishes and try to focus on the act itself as a form of meditation, is this wrong?