I came back to the hobby about 5-6 months ago, after about 20 years of not practicing LD. In the past 5-6 months, I have succeeded only 4 times, and yes, there have been times when I have doubted whether I could do it. I am in a better situation than you because I know I can do it though because 20 years ago I remember being good at it, but I do not remember why I quit, and frankly I expected to be much better at it faster when I joined here in February.
So how come I do not give up? I have decided that I really enjoy the process of getting to lucidity, and I realized that I have gained benefits of greater self awareness in waking life and better memory and a general spirit of self improvement and questing that appeals to me and which is due to lucid dreaming practice. I am learning patience. I am enjoying my non-lucid dreams. I have decided that lucidity will come, well it has four times already but none of those dreams were nearly as good as the ones I remember from 20 years ago, but I have decided to not mind that. A lot of lucid dream practice is about expectations, intensions, and attitude, I think. At least for me it is. I would not give up for the world. I keep wondering whether by now my low success rate thus far is contributing unfortunately to my expectations not being quite up to par (do I really expect to be lucid tonight?), and my acceptance and enjoyment of the non-lucid dreams and the process may mean that I am less single mindedly focused on having lucid dreams right away. However, I know I am a happier person than I would be if I were less accepting and more disappointed. And ultimately being a happier person is a large part of my end goal.
And I got to have a lucid dream tonight, damn it, because there are only a few more days left in the lucid dreaming challange that I am participating in on DreamViews, and I got to be lucid before the challenge is over!!! You hear me my subconscious? No more procrastinating tonight!
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