Thread: Privacy Problem

Hi. I live in a pretty small house so I don't have much intimacy. My parents also don't have a very good opinion about Lucid Dreams, they don't belive in it so they think that I`m a kind of crazy. Because I don't have too much intimacy I dont want to write my ''sexy-time'' and more horny dreams in it because they could read it so I would be pretty embarrased. And also I can't write too much in my Lucid Dreams jurnal because their bad opinion of lucid dreams, they think that i'm wasting my time instead of studying (i got some not really nice grades lately).When I tried to listen to some binaural beats they stopped me because they thaught that its like a ''sounds doping'' I have to write in them crypted, so if I dreamed that i see a dog with a blue tail jumping on a helicopter drived by Scarllet Jhonshon in the year 2043 I write: dog, helicopter, Scarllet Jhonson. I also use my phone as dream jurnal so my jurnal its more safe. I did this for almost 4 months and I havent more than 3 LD where I barely knew that I'm dreaming. Right now every night I have VERY Vivid dreams (it feels a LOT like real life) but I can't realize that I am dreaming, and my dream recall its not really good. The question is: should I stop training for when I`m going to college and move alone or I should increase my efforts? Because if I could not Lucid Dreams in this conditions I don't think that I should be trying so hard anymore... (And by the way I succed to wake up every night at 4-5 hours after sleep without alarm-that's another succes)

I think only you can decide this for yourself, whether to postpone LD practice or whether to continue now, whether it is worth it for you or whether the cons out way the benefits. I have no way of knowing whether in your situation with your expectations whether LDing is a good thing to pursue right now or not. Even given what you describe, I bet in a similar situation some people would choose to continue LD practice and others would choose to postpone it. I don't think there is any one "right" choice that applies to everyone, there is only what is the right choice for you, and only you can decide that. Whether to LD or not is a very personal choice. I do know that I once a long time ago discontinued, and I do not remember why I discontinued, and I know I now regret discontinuing it, but tha is me and not you. I think better grades are important to focus on because it is important to have better chance in life, however, whether LD practice is interfering with your studies only you can tell. I think getting along better with one's family is important, whenever possible, but whether that would require you to give up LD practice only you can tell - oh, and you may decide that LD is too important for you to give up despite of what your family think, but only if that is your choice - as you already know it is possible to practice LD almost in secret, and be very discreet about it, and keep it mostly in your head, so you could choose that, but whether you think that is a better idea or whether it would be better to discontinue for now, and continue when you will be less limited, only you can decide that. Wishing you all the best in your decision making!

You could try WILD. If you are able to wake naturally after 4-5 hours, then this is a good time for WILD. Everyone including me will say that dream recall and journaling are important. But WILD relies less on recall and more on awareness and practice. So you may find more success with WILD, even with little or no journaling.

I would also suggest that you enjoy your non-lucid dreams. Many of my most interesting dreams were not lucid. You can maintain your interesting in dreaming even if you are limited or need to postpone your efforts for LDs.

I think it is important for you to talk to your parents about it. Show them studies and videos about lucid dreaming. Help them understand that it's a real SAFE thing to be doing. If you think your grades are dropping because you are spending too much time reading or practicing lucid dreaming, then it is a problem. Work before play.

As for your privacy issue, your phone probably has a lock setting on it, which could help. I don't know your life, but my parents do believe in my privacy and they would never go through my journals, all the same I do keep the personal dreams locked on my iPod.

I hope your situation improves, good luck!

Welcome to DV ravanoos!

I am impressed by your determination!

If you have access to a computer, you can keep your dj on dreamviews. Then you could just write key words to remember your dreams, then record the rest later.
Another thing you could do is recall your dreams completely when you wake up in the morning. Then do that again at night. Recall them in as much detail as possible. The more you do this, the better your recall will become and you will be able to recall days of dreams easily.

I can relate to people not understanding. I was raised in an ultra religious setting in which people believe lucid dreaming is a tool of Satan. Needless to say, I don't agree, but I do understand. Keep up the good work! Keep believing that you can do it, and you won't need any extras, only your mind!

It's difficult to tell how good a relationship you have with your parents from your post, but it sounds like they will be difficult to convince that LDing is OK. I'm sure they have your best interests at heart
LDing CAN be dangerous if you get obsessed with it, in that it can adversely affect your waking life. This can show itself as poor sleep patterns if you are over doing WBTB etc., which can affect your memory and other physical issues. If you can honestly say you are not obsessing though, you should be fine. Conversely, good dream recall usually means you are sleeping well, and most LDers know that good sleep is a first step to good LDs.
Binaurals have never worked for me, so unless you think they do for you, I would ditch them if they upset your parents.
Being chilled about LD (and not obsessing) is good for LDing and for your situation, so maybe make out that LD is not that important to you. Nobody needs to know you do it, especially if you WBTB in the middle of the night.

First of all I agree your parents love you and only want the best for you. I am a grandparent who only learned to LD two years ago...lf my kids had approached me with this even 4 years ago I would have been very worried....it sounds so weird and dangerous at first....it is virtually impossible to communicate what it is like without having experienced it. So dont think ill of your parents...their response is normal.

Forget binaural beats, etc. You dont need them. Waste of money I think. If you do things naturally your parents will be less worried too. I would practice things like reality checks and/or ADA..what parent could worry about that stuff? Also who worries about a quick bathroom break at 5 am? Thats all you really need. Journalling is good but just abbreviated what you are doing is fine.