Tygar - To answer the first question, I see it as not cheating but "thinking about cheating" since it is technically just a thought in the first place ( a very intentional one though). I have been married for longer than most of the people here on DV have been alive. My wife is in some of my LDs but most of them are with other random DCs. She knows I dream about sexual contact with other women, but not to the extent as with a LD ( lets say i will not share any of my DJ entries with her). IMHO if you consider it morally wrong, you will tend to avoid SC with DCs in your LDs. I have been actually trying to avoid SC in my last few LDs not because i think it is wrong, but to increase my LD time and do other things. It has worked for me to some extent However after roughly 5 - 10 min of LDn i would see or summon an attractive DC and fall off the wagon.