Thread: Sexual contact with DCs when you are in a committed relationship

All great answers.

I was prompted to post this thread because of a dream journal I read where the gentleman summoned Jennifer Aniston and then...well you know....with her. My first thought "I should do that!", my second thought "That would really piss off my wife." The second thought wins. I will not summon her, but if she happened to be in a dream...the below may happen.

I have attempted sexual contact with DCs plenty of times in the past, but it was like I lost control. I was still lucid, I was fully aware I was dreaming, but it was like my sexual urges took control. "Evil Tygar" took command. Has anyone else had this issue?

Wow - Jenifer Aniston, Hadn’t thought about her. I have never summoned a particular female DC, only random ones ( naked generic porn stars are close enough for me). This keeps the guilt at bay i guess. I probably wont summon her as well, but I will plant a hint to my subconscious. If she shows up, her ass is in some big time trouble.

Originally Posted by Screen

Well, if you have to ask, what does that say about what you're doing? There's an easily distinguished line between sex to share intimacy, and sex for self-indulgence. I think it's fairly clear which side of the line sex in a lucid dream is on.

Relationship or no, I could never approve of it for anyone. The idea that you can tailor any fantasy to your liking has too many opportunities to become an addiction, and it will naturally lead to unrealistic expectations in real relationships, because you're so used to everything going exactly the way you want. It could very likely lead to someone preferring lucid dream sex to real people.

What the hell is wrong with self-indulgence in your dreams?

How could you prefer figments of your imagination and in your control to living, loving, feeling and thinking subjective partners??
What you say above could be applied to all of LDing - addiction, preferring it to real life - because of one's powers.
The way you judge people here - it would follow that all LDing is bad then.

Originally Posted by Screen

But, the short answer to your question and all of its scenarios is "yes, it is cheating." After all, what is cheating if not to find intimacy/sex outside of your partner, right? I agree there are technically no wrong answers. But I do believe there are answers right or wrong for your well-being in the long run.

No - cheating is having intimacy/sex with a real life person, while your significant other disapproves of it and you know it.
There are enough open relationships for you to see, how your definition falls short.

I do not feel, I need to ask my husband about it - it is in my head and there only - this is my privacy - and the boundary of what falls under morals for me - I do what I want in my dreams - and that's most usually harmless - but anyway.
In this case I brought the topic up, and so I know, how he feels about it and that he sincerely does not care. That's great.
I would not have had to ask him, though, in order to feel in the green with myself.

Originally Posted by KpuonyerNo4

Well, If the dream is created by your subconscious, then everything is merely part of your own mind. I suppose then, it is essentially masturbation.

Essentially yes - but a DC can be experienced and it can behave like a sentient entity - and it's possible that jealousy will manifest, if a partner of a certain mindset gets to know about it.

If you don't mention it spontaneously - I advise to not put it down in some way like a secret DJ.
This is bad in several aspects, if s/he finds out - you didn't bring it up - so you seem to feel guilty, which is relevant.
And there are documents about it, out of his/her control, maybe even online for others to read...

Originally Posted by SinisterDezz

But the serious matter of this seems to plague a lot of people.
That is why it's against my own law not to participate in such acts, as DR (Dream Relationships) always end badly.

You don't have dream-sex, because it seems to plague a lot of people?
And thus you conclude, it always ends badly?
And then you make it a law.
But esp. taking into consideration the many people, who don't have problems with it - your whole argument doesn't make sense, I find. And I suppose you meant it without the "not" - or did I totally miss a joke?
I don't mean this in a nasty way.
If you feel, your law resonates with your moral compass - go by it, sure.

Originally Posted by Tygar

I have attempted sexual contact with DCs plenty of times in the past, but it was like I lost control. I was still lucid, I was fully aware I was dreaming, but it was like my sexual urges took control. "Evil Tygar" took command. Has anyone else had this issue?

Why "evil" - guys - don't put yourself in shackles in your dreams!!
But I know, what you mean - it seems to be advanced LDing to fully control these "affairs" technically.

Originally Posted by rynkrt3

I think of it this way. Humans in general are not ment to be monogamous. It it seomthing we created out of religion.

As much as I have a beef with religion - I think, you have overlooked something.
A woman is pregnant for nine months - and to a much more disabling extent than other animals.
Then the child is there and it needs a lot of time to be reared - women can give milk up to 4 years by the way.
Latest once agriculture began - it was mainly the men doing hard labour and that was a necessary thing to be able to have a family under conditions of old.

Children died a lot - there was no birth control - most women were at the baby business most of the time.
So of course it is evolutionary useful to bond monogamously with a partner at least for the period of time it takes to raise the children. If there were two men involved - that wouldn't ensure either of them, to only invest his work and risk his life in favour of his own offspring.

That it was not socially acceptable for a man to leave an older woman, once she was infertile or whatever - was a sort of safety net for her - having no training and ability to work for her living, possibly with children.
The state and also church put up laws, to prevent that from happening systematically and having to subsidize them then.
Patriarchy did not only benefit men - but good that times are better these days.