No, you cannot reconnect with your "former self," Yuusha.
Why? Because you are already connected. Your former self is not former at all, but just the way your actual self (the one who is "You" right now as well) happened to present itself to the world back then. Your former self is apparently easily accessed, too, because you can remember how you were back then. This tells me that the attributes of that former self have been securely stored in your memory. You may only need to decide, consciously, to reinstall the personality bits you remember so well, because they arealways with you; perhaps even waiting, patiently, to be summoned.
Though it sounds to me that "reconnection" falls more towards a life decision than it does toward the result of a LD exercise, here is a thought:
If the way you felt and navigated your world when you were 15 is your genuine ideal "self," then you are very likely already enjoying the presence of that self during NLD's. I could be wrong, but I would bet that your non-lucid DC "You" during NLD's is very much that 15-year-old, regardless of the content of the dream. Your mind tends to give you what you want in dreams, and, in dreams, what you want is a reflection of how you truly see yourself, regardless of how you might be behaving right now.
One side-effect of LD'ing is that, when lucid, you are seeing your dream from the perspective of your waking-life self. So, when you become aware you are dreaming, you tend to lose whatever character traits your DC "You" might have been presenting at the time. Also, your NLD's content and even theme tends to change dramatically when the "real You" arrives, even if you don't notice. In a sense, the presence of your consciousness is interfering with the consciousness that was already present in your dream-body DC and the surrounding schema, creating a new pattern of experience as soon as you arrive. I know this sounds a bit like the quantum mechanics concept that observation changes the state of a particle, and it should; the defining concern -- you -- is the same in both instances. Anyway...
What I would suggest, LD'ing-wise, is that you do three things:
* Make a special effort to remember your NLD's, and see if you can spot your teenaged self in those dreams. Given the level of value you attach to the memories of this time, I have a feeling you will spot that "You" fairly quickly and regularly. I could be wrong, but here's a funny thing: If you make a point of looking for that version of you in your NLD's, in time it will begin appearing, even if it did not initially. Expectation/intention is a powerful thing sometimes.
* When you are next lucid, try to take a moment to quietly pay close attention to what is going on around you the instant you arrive, and then try to compare it to what was going on just before you arrived. This is a lot harder than it sounds, because your dreaming mind has a tendency to install new memories to correspond with the "you" that just arrived in the dream, so that the dream world properly matches your expectations. But if you can pull it off, you might find that your DC "You" was indeed just behaving like your teen self. From there you might be able to "pull" that teen self back into your dream, and navigate your dream with that persona firmly attached to your dream body.
* If you are unable to spot your teen self in NLD's or during the above exercise, you can try one more thing: Simply decide to behave, when lucid, like you did back then. Move through your dream with the attitude and composure you remember, and allow that old persona to swallow up your waking-life persona. Unlike my previous suggestion, this one is a lot easier than it sounds... you can even do it during waking life; and I recommend that you do!
tl;dr: I believe, Yuusha, that your old self is still connected to you, and there is no need to reconnect; and you have already proven this, given that you remember that self well. You can reinstall this memory into your current personality with little more than a decision. But, if you want to do it through dreams, just carefully examine your NLD's and pay attention in your LD's, and you will find that connection (and, if not, decide to make that connection during a LD, and you will have it).
|
|
Bookmarks