Thread: Was I About To Wild That Night?

Hello beloved people,

I found this forum a few months ago and did read a lot of the Instructions!
The last nights I had some strange phenomenons and thought this would be the right place to ask and benefit of your guys outstanding knowledge on this topic.

At first a short rundown on my situation with dreaming and lucid dreaming:
- I'm not "too deep" into LD, I wanna achieve it, but the only active thing I'm doing to achieve it is to remind myself of that I want to achieve it. I also do dream diary for about 8-9 months (Note: I only have nightmares, never a positive dream. If its a sex dream it will be a weird, distrubing one f.e.)

- I smoke cannabis (0,5g pure in 1 joint) every night before falling asleep. It helps me falling asleep (I'm kinda restless the whole day and can't sleep if I don't smoke; I don't want to argue about it, I know its not perfect, but its my way of handling it)
When I smoke it, I lay in bed and will be "visualizing" for 1 1/2 up to 2 hours. With "Visualizing" I mean, I can close my eyes and pretty much visualize a lot of things. Like past events, I can relive them as if it was real (all while being wake). I have a strong vibrational feeling where the "Thrid Eye" (pineal gland) is while doing this. Sometimes "it" shows me things and I don't have control what I see, but most times I do. If I don't smoke cannabis, I won't be able to "visualize".

- I always have 1 ear-piece of the headphone in my ear, hearing talks/lectures that have philosopical, "esoteric" or quantum physic topics. It helps me falling asleep. I don't really listen to whats said, its just like a background noise that keeps me relaxed and calm. My eyes are closed all the time while this.

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So a few nights ago I was laying in bed, just had smoked my weed, started "surfing" through my mind like I always do.
The night before I was listening to Terrence McKenna talking. Thats where the "strange" started happening at first. His voice gave me a deep, calming feeling...it may sound stupid, but his voice made me "high". Not in a cannabis-high way, but in a "all is one, and one is all"-way. I can't put it any better. His voice resonates with my brain really strong, I can feel his voice inside me, inside my head.

Since then I mainly have lectures/talks of him while laying there in bed and visualizing. The next night I was close to fall asleep. Out of a sudden a VERY loud screaming-like sound that was high pitched screamed in my ear - or should I say in my head? It was INSIDE me, and my GF diddn't hear it. It was about 4-5 seconds long before I tried to jump up, but i couldn't I only opened my eyes and was "back on earth" if you will. My hands were shaking, my heard was racing, out of a sudden I started dropping 2-3 tears - not of agony or sadness, but out of the sheer overwhelmingly feeling it gave to me. It were positive tears if you will. I had the feeling I had achieved sth. there. I had the feeling my head would explode while this screaming sound was there. I searched on google and found "Exploding head syndrome". Well..it could've been that, but I'm not quite sure. Also while the screaming was there, it was like there was heavy pressure inside my ears and my head.

I also wanna mention that in my dream diary I write like that:
"01/01/1901" at first and then a "note" besides that f.e. like: "Is dreaming fate?" or "why?". Like I'm talking to someone - to myself! That night when the phenomenon happend I wrote "Hello Ra, I love you just as much I love me, because I am you, and you are me!" (I've read Law Of One, I love it, I find it to be a guidance to achieving what I want)
It was like that phenomenon was a sign of "Ra" who wanted to talk/communicate with me. I thought "maybe that scremaing noise was the introduction to him contacting me?" IDK, just wanted to mention it.

Ok, so far, so good I thought and couldn't await the next night, and if it would happen again.
And...next night it sorta happened again! I was laying in bed, just as usual. Not awaiting the phenomenon to appear again, I was just doing my "every night routine". SThen it started again, but much more mellow. At first it was like my body was going numb, my ears had pressure and I couldn't hear anything around me, just whats INSIDE ME. 2-3 times I "fought against it" and opened my eyes because it somehow scared me. I've read about not be scared of this, but its hard not to be, because its a oppressive feeling. It was like a humming that evolved into a screaming-like sound again, but I can stop it by opening my eyes. Sadly I somehow fell asleep after 4-5 tries to endure the noise, I did dream that night, but nothing out of the ordinary (a nightmare, like everytime).


What is that phenomenon? Am I close to WILD? (I don't practice any of those methods, I just lay in bed and try to be concious of myself, saying myself "remember your dreams" and/or "realize you're dreaming". I tried reality checks for a few weeks before, but they did nothing for me. Was I close to OBE or Astral Projection? What was it? I'm excited for tonight, as I hope it will happen again and I'll achieve a "breakthrough" or some sort, even if not, it's a interesting experience and I wouldn't wanna miss it. Even tho its opressing, its exciting, and I feel its something out of the normal - "paranormal" if you wanna use that term.

What was/is that screaming noise, that humming and me and my senses going numb? And how can I make use of it? Did anyone else here experience things like that? What did you do? What did you achieve from it?

I just wanted to write this down and share it, to benefit of the knowledge you, the more experienced (lucid) dreamers have.

I'm thankful for any informations, tips or hints.

With love,
A child playing in Morpheus womb