Keep in mind that I'm by no means an expert, the following is just my opinion on the matter, and I don't claim it to be how things really are without question:
I think a very important thing to realize when you get into lucid dreaming is just how alone you are, and I'd advise anyone getting into it to actually reflect uppon that at least for a while. It's not that people won't offer help, or that advice isn't useful or doesn't work, that's not what I mean, I mean just how utterly practically unpredictable a specific mind seems to be, given the many connections our brain takes care of daily.
Speaking for myself - although I guess results may vary for people who actually entertain the possibility of spiritual beings - I'm used to having models of reality, which were meticulously constructed by other observers, to lean on when I don't fully understand something about our world. I can pick up a book on electronics, medicine, mechanics, and all these would do their best to describe a common world view in detail, that I could then use to make predictions; with dreams, and the subconscious in general, that's mostly out of the window, and when I first started really getting into this, it took me a while to realize just how alone I was when it came to predicting my subconscious. It was jarring.
Truth is, even those methods which we take as basically axioms of communicating with and changing the subconscious, such as symbolism, are not guaranteed to work with everyone, and it's quite important to understand that you build your own 'subconscious reality'. This is only speculation, and to what extent your subconscious is dictated by physiology I don't know, but I argue that it seems that you - both your conscious and subconscious - are the builder of the rules which dictate how your conscious interacts with your subconscious, to a large extent.
What dolphin said is perhaps the one rule that has been shown to work consistently without fail: what you believe in - and when I say believing, I'm not using the term lightly - is mirrored by your subconscious as being the truth - to the extent it can be, of course.
As for the questions, I feel like the one which I can relate to more and give a better answer to is the nº 6, as regards to time in dreams:
I have long dreams, or at least long spanning dreams. I have had dreams which spanned months, even, but of course. I feel compelled to believe that all this time was just an illusion, however, because I know REM's don't last for months, I actually have to get up and go to work eventually, and oneironauts and oneirologists so far have found no evidence that supports time dilation in dreams (I don't know where you got that from, but I'd like to see the source, maybe things have changed); and I don't recall more than a few hours of events, when I put the dream together, which I find to be a much stronger piece of evidence against the dream actually being that long.
When I become lucid, however, one of two things happen: I either wake up after a while, never going past an hour or so of actual lucid dream time; or, and this is something that is really annoying, I simply seem to lose lucidity and the dream carries on as usual, with all the tricks an unaware mind might be susceptible to. This all being said, I've never heard of someone trying to actually slow down time within a dream, and I think it would give a cool challenge of the month.
Time is really important, of course, and we all wished we could dream for longer - part of why dreams are so sweet is because we can't, I feel - but if I were to be honest and left wishful thinking aside, I'd say, while it doesn't seem to me impossible to actually achieve a certain level of time dilation in a dream from a first, rough look through my uneducated lens, I'd say it wouldn't be nearly as strong of an effect as to give you an extra day, or even an extra hour.
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