Looking for Answers: Talking to Subconscious and Dream Characters

[awalker54]

Hello all! So, one of my recent goals has been surrounding doing some shadow work --investigating habits that I have and trying to release them within the lucid dream state. I became lucid in one dream and had a goal of generating a dream guide. Immediately when it didn't work, I went and found my neighbor who I have a secret crush on. Then this dream turns into which hasn't even been a big interest of mine. I always thought I'd use my lucidity for other things. It was like the energy was so strong, maybe I was losing lucidity, but yea.. the dream took a turn. This led me to realize just because I'm lucid in a dream doesn't mean that I always will act outside of my habits. I'm seeing that the dream state, whether lucid or not, does show me those aspects of myself that are deep in my mind. I found it interesting that this motivation was stronger than the motivation to generate a dream guide, even though I've been rehearsing the whole dream guide thing for a while during my reality checks. I didn't even try multiple times. I just was like hm... oh well... let's find the neighbor and I didn't even plan on doing that at all. Anywhoo.... I wanted to go back into the dream state and ask my neighbor what he represents. I figured I could get a good answer and learn about the unconscious (subconscious?) habits that I clearly am trying to suppress in the waking state that showed up in this dream. So, it takes me about 4 lucid dreams to finally get back to my apartment and then find the neighbor. I ask him what he represents and he babbles about other things. So, I talk to him and say "Focus!" then, "What do you represent?" ... more babbling. He does tell me that he has always been interested in me, then asks me if I have any friends. (What a let down lol) I tell him I would never let my friends near him. He looks very disappointed so I decide to go outside and ask my subconscious. As I walk outside I can hear him singing and rapping. Whatever song he is singing becomes background music to my dream. I even start singing it myself. I go outside and fly up, still singing, enjoying myself. I land back on the ground then, I shout at the sky "What does my neighbor in this dream represent?" Leaves blows around and through the street. I wait... no answer.... The dream is about to end, but I yell "WAIT!!!" and rub my hands together. This makes the dream come back. I put one hand on my head and one hand on my stomach and say "Remove any attachments and bonds from men from my past" then I just repeat "Thank you thank you thank you thank you" until I wake up in my bed. This isn't the first time I've asked the dream/my subconscious a question only to receive no answer. I have now started to use EFT (if anyone is familiar with this technique) in case I have/am starting to build some type of doubt that is affecting my ability to expect communication from my dream/subconscious. I was wondering does anyone else have any experience asking the dream/subconscious questions to do self-help type work or get clarification about things in the waking state? Have you had issues or experience creating this type of communicative connection with the dream? I've always heard that people do this and it seems quite easy, but I suppose we all have differences in experience. I would love to get input from anyone here! Thanks!

[Hilary]

Hm. Some thoughts. Rather than "generating" a dream guide, try asking for one. Let the dream bring your guide to you. Although, I will say, it may not come in the form you wish. For me, it's a narrator, helps me understand my dream meanings, who takes many forms (always male) in dreams. Also, I have an old woman guide as well. She's pretty much always the same. But they came when I was ready for them, honestly. In big dreams. Yours will come. If your asking of the same question, over and over, is not getting you an answer, I would try asking a different question. My guess, though, is that he represents your undeveloped masculine aspects (confidence, leadership, etc.). He is your animus, to use Jungian terms. That is not to say that there isn't truth in his babbles. It's quite possible the neighbor has been interested you in a long time, but it's hard to say from just one dream. Also, rather than focusing your lucid dream on your love interest, I would suggest focusing it on self development. Let love come to you, rather than seeking it out directly. Spend your lucid dreams having fun, gaining self knowledge, etc. You can always ask the dream if someone would like to join you in your lucid dream, but I would stop focusing so much on that one guy. Let him come to you, if he wants. Edit: Also, it sounds like your animus gave you a little test. In the dream, he acts like he likes you, he sleeps with you, etc. But, then he asks if you have friends (as in, that he can date). Now, that's the impression I'm getting from you, perhaps he meant something else. But, if that's what he meant, your response "I would never let me friends around you" is effectively saying to him: I don't care that you would sleep with me then try to get with my friends. You're so awesome, I would accept this deal! I would be more like I'm not sure I want someone who would do that to me. YKWIM?

[awalker54]

Thank you MoonageDaydream! You're right! I should ask different questions. Do you think I should just change the form of the question, but keep the intent the same? I guess I feel like I didn't get an answer at all that let me know why I would honestly be focusing on him. That's what I was ultimately trying to figure out. Why him and why this subject? I thought maybe there is something in the waking state that I've been ignoring and it's showing up in my dreams. These were two different dreams. In the first dream -I tried to generate a dream guide, then went onto find him. The ... 5th dream (it took me a while to find him again in my dreamworld, maybe 4 dreams apart) is when I asked him what he represents. I do see what you mean by not focusing on him as well. I just figured that in the first dream since my mind went directly there that if I went back to him and asked him what he represents that I would get a direct answer. Clearly that didn't work too well. Maybe he was testing me. I was answering "I wouldn't let my friends near you" because in my mind I liked him and I wouldn't want him to sleep with me then sleep with my friends or try to date my friends. This isn't the first time I've tried to ask the dream questions though and not gotten an answer. Sometimes I have though. One time in particular the dream spoke to me through a TV. It answered all my questions very directly. Would you also mind clarifying what you mean of him being my animus? I have heard these terms before animus/anima. I didn't think about this before in relation to this dream, but it also makes sense.

[Hilary]

Thank you MoonageDaydream! You're right! I should ask different questions. Do you think I should just change the form of the question, but keep the intent the same? I guess I feel like I didn't get an answer at all that let me know why I would honestly be focusing on him. That's what I was ultimately trying to figure out. Why him and why this subject? I thought maybe there is something in the waking state that I've been ignoring and it's showing up in my dreams. These were two different dreams. In the first dream -I tried to generate a dream guide, then went onto find him. The ... 5th dream (it took me a while to find him again in my dreamworld, maybe 4 dreams apart) is when I asked him what he represents. A good way to handle this is to ask: "Do you have a message for me?" That leaves it open. If he babbles, move on. Ask the next character you meet, in the dream, "What is the meaning of this dream?" I do see what you mean by not focusing on him as well. I just figured that in the first dream since my mind went directly there that if I went back to him and asked him what he represents that I would get a direct answer. Clearly that didn't work too well. Maybe he was testing me. I was answering "I wouldn't let my friends near you" because in my mind I liked him and I wouldn't want him to sleep with me then sleep with my friends or try to date my friends. Yep, but here's the rub. You're doing all the work by saying you wouldn't your friends near him. He's still a dog. You're accepting that. Remember, when dealing with your animus, your self-respect is key. Let him know that's not the kinda guy you want. You're worth more. You might like the results you get when you go this route. Would you also mind clarifying what you mean of him being my animus? I have heard these terms before animus/anima. I didn't think about this before in relation to this dream, but it also makes sense. So, this is a great question. I'm honestly not sure how to answer it. Animus is a loose term for me, sure you could go into Jungian stuff and be overwhelmed by the complexity of it all. Basically: he's your undeveloped male aspects. You will always feel a connection with him, because this is a connection with yourself. The part of yourself you are still working on. You may find he is also a dream guide for you, like mine is for me. Start by working on your masculine aspects and self respect, and he will come into your dreams to work with you. At this point, you will learn his voice - or at least, that's how it is for me.

[awalker54]

A good way to handle this is to ask: "Do you have a message for me?" That leaves it open. If he babbles, move on. Ask the next character you meet, in the dream, "What is the meaning of this dream?" I never thought about that! I am honestly going to do my lucid dreaming tonight too. I always work with a dream that comes up and do journaling and other processing techniques. I love using lucid dreaming for personal development. If I can generate another dream in this series I am going to ask what is the meaning of this dream? I've had about 5 lucid dreams in this "series" since last week and 2 other non-lucid dreams. Also very interesting. I think this will be a nice way for me to ask and be more open. Yep, but here's the rub. You're doing all the work by saying you wouldn't your friends near him. He's still a dog. You're accepting that. Remember, when dealing with your animus, your self-respect is key. Let him know that's not the kinda guy you want. You're worth more. You might like the results you get when you go this route. Oh! You're good! This comment is very interesting because this is the nature of most of my relationships romantic or not, but especially in romantic relationships. I always find the dog lol and then I still stay there. I've recently told myself that I wouldn't do that anymore. I never even saw that in this dream. There is definitely something significant here about self-respect. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to be learning by having these repeated dreams and I keep doing the same things over and over. So, this is a great question. I'm honestly not sure how to answer it. Animus is a loose term for me, sure you could go into Jungian stuff and be overwhelmed by the complexity of it all. Basically: he's your undeveloped male aspects. You will always feel a connection with him, because this is a connection with yourself. The part of yourself you are still working on. You may find he is also a dream guide for you, like mine is for me. Start by working on your masculine aspects and self respect, and he will come into your dreams to work with you. At this point, you will learn his voice - or at least, that's how it is for me. I have been working on myself. If he represents my underdeveloped male aspects that makes sense. He has appeared many times, especially because I have been trying to work with that first dream so I've had different variations of these dreams. In similar dreams I have had a feminine appearance. Sometimes I was getting cornrows and when I looked in the mirror I looked like a girl and I was so upset and embarrassed. Wow! You've helped me clarify so much! I very much appreciate your comments and your help. I think also when I speak to my subconscious or the dream I'll start asking "What does this dream mean?" in different situations and just be open to whatever comes instead of trying to control the outcome by asking a more specific question.

[Hilary]

I think also when I speak to my subconscious or the dream I'll start asking "What does this dream mean?" in different situations and just be open to whatever comes instead of trying to control the outcome by asking a more specific question.

[Hilary]

In similar dreams I have had a feminine appearance. Sometimes I was getting cornrows and when I looked in the mirror I looked like a girl and I was so upset and embarrassed. This is actually a really great opportunity. Next time you see something like that happen, or a little girl or boy, practice loving kindness. See if you can flow love out of your chest to her. She represents an aspect of you that you don't accept. She needs unconditional love and acceptance to grow. Do this in your dreams, and you may notice awesome things happening to your self esteem in real life, too.