Almost every night I dream of these exotic and romantic situations. Last night I found myself falling in love with this very ideal looking man - black curly hair, vivid blue eyes, very tall very toned. I could feel he was falling in love with me too, I knew he was - hey its my dream right what I know I definitely I know in my dream. I ended our affair because of my in dream remembrance of my real life boyfriend. While still dreaming I felt that sick tearing in my chest that happens to me when I lose a person from a relationship - heartbreak. I felt it, I know I have had those phantom physical experiences before in dreams but this was vivid. It was not lucid, had I been I would have not broken my own and his heart at all. <sigh> Really though. I felt like I was falling in love physically and I felt my heart breaking physically. I felt the turmoil that an moralistic person might feel when they are doing wrong by being totally in love with two people. Even in my dream I was able to acknowledge that I was in love in two places. I swear hearts are not meant to be stretched that way - at least not mine.
When I fell asleep again I found myself camping somewhere on a Hawaiian shore line. I explored this site in my dream and found the most ideal little lovers hide-away ever. I knew in my dream that should anyone come here with me I would most definitely achieve some kind of love affair there. I noticed the irony when I waked that in this dream I never was reminded I had a boyfriend in reality. Well I was camping with a random nondescript friend and her father so it seemed, we were supposed to be on some kind of fishing trip. (This girl does not exist anywhere in my reality at all and neither did the boy from my previous dream.) Despite all my attempts I was never able to get my friend to my lovers nook. Eventually I gave up until some friend of hers came to join us on our trip. She kept the father distracted and I was able to sneak my friend and myself away. I will not go into details because I don't know how much is allowed but it was ideal and wonderful and well hott. After waking from this dream I felt even more guilt for not having remembered my boyfriend.
I think the only real reason I posted this is because it may work to alleviate what guilt I feel for something that didn't really happen. I think if other people can see it and maybe sympathize it would help. So thank you for your time if you read this.
If you want to ask me anything - I am an open book you just have to be brave enough to turn the pages.