Thread: Your funniest dream?

I was Danny DeVito and I was hanging out wth my good buddy Arnold Schwartzenegger at his house. Arnold wanted a date with Andy McDowell, but didn't think she'd like his whiskers. "Vy vould sie vant zeez viry viskers all over her??" Then I said, "Awww, come ON...you don't think she'd like this?" Then I started rubbing my whiskers down his face, and chin, then neck...really slowly. He closed his eyes and groaned with pleasure. (Keep in mind that I AM still Danny DeVito at this time and place). But before I could get much lower than his chest, Little Miss Priss McDowell showed up to see Arnold. We panicked, so I grabbed my beer (Shiner Boch ew) and ran into the bathroom with naught but a t-shirt and briefs. I locked door. I could hear them talking in the bedroom, and she said "It was a long cab ride, I need to use the bathroom." Oh shit. There was another door in the bathroom I was in, so I opened it and was relieved that it went out into the hall. Then I made the big error: I was worried about the first door still being locked. So I unlocked it and ran down the hall as fast as my short legs would carry me. I darted left where there was a short hallway with a little bench, and I sat down and waited. Then 'she' appeared around the corner, really pissed, staring at me. She asked me what the fuck I was doing. I simply replied: "I'm just a midget, sitting here in my underwear drinking a beer...."

I woke up laughing, and I still laugh when I read it

that's the funniest dream i've ever heard ophelia pure gold....LMAO!!!!

Getting chased around my house by the ghost of Avril Lavigne.

She was trying to kill me by beating me to death with a cookbook.

It was pretty scary at the time, but as soon as I was confident she wasn't really after me, I laughed heartily.


The other night I saw a cow do a handstand. That was pretty funny.

i recently bought a punching bag and hung it in my garage next to my car. me and my sister were testing it out and punching it the same night i put it up. that night i had a dream that we were in the garage and she was punching it but i wasnt holding it so it was swinging everywhere. she punched it as hard as she could and it swung back and bashed her and made her fly about 10 feet onto the hood of my car, knocked out. once she woke up i was laughing so hard in my dream that i fell to the floor. you know when you laugh so hard and youre so caught up in the laughing ecstasy that you dont really care about anything anymore including standing? thats what happened and when i fell to the floor i woke up laughing, i swear. it wasnt lucid but it was the funniest dream i ever had.

I had a dream with all the members of Family Guy in it. (kind of like who framed roger rabbit - they were in the real world)
For some reason Stewie didn't like me so I started to chase him through the woods while he shouted "Get away from me you vile excuse for a living being!" I found this hilarious for some reason and continued chasing him. I managed to catch him, he shouted "Blast!" I then asked him why he didn't like me and he told me "Because you touch yourself at night!" I busrt out laughing, he just stared at me in hatred. Then Chris Griffin walked somberly up to us and said "OW! I do that too!"
I woke up in hysterics.

I was lucid with another guy who was also lucid. We were in some weird type of shopping mall and classic dreamsigns were abound, such as scenery changing spontanously, night and day changing in seconds, text looking strange, etc.

We were laughing and talking about how everyone was so oblivious to the fact that the environment was a dream despite all the very obvious signs, and how people were reacting or just taking completely unusual or impossible things for granted.

Then we started talking to one particular non-lucid guy and started winding him up, talking about dreams and dream signs, but not actually telling him that we were in a dream. We were seeing how far we could take it before he realised that he was in a dream. He never did realise.

that's brilliant

http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=21170

17th October 2005 - "Kung-fu Secret Agent"

05 November 2005 - "Assembly Gone Wrong" and "The Ride to School"

12 November 2005 - "At the Water Park"

17 November 2005 - "Pint of Phlegmage, please"
.........
......
...

basically, they all make me smile whenever I re-read them

The funniest dream I ever had was...
Was me and my best friend were at a kids birthday party and there was a clown entertaining the children. My friend then pulled a gun out of his pocket and walked upto the clown "what the hell are you doing?"
my friend says "killing the clown"
"why!?"
"because it will be funny" he said (the clown just standing there like no one was discussing murdering him)
and my friend shoots him, but instead of his brains being sprayed all over the wall, he burst's into hundreds of clowns But for some reason, at the time, I found it very very funny. I was just getting over that when a giant purple chicken comes in the room and starts eating all the little clowns. the chicken looks at me and says "... wow...your really screwed up" and I woke up.

not so much funny, but wtf was that?

The funniest dream I had I was standing with a group of businessmen outside my bedroom in the garden. We are all talking about something important (I don’t know what) and I had something I rely wanted to tell them. As they talked they moved into a circle excluding me from there conversation. I was starting to get pissed off at there rudeness and the more I tried to make my point the more they ignored me. Now I’m really pissed off, and as I stand there they start barking at one another? Next there heads all start to morph into dog’s heads, Basset Hounds to be exact.
After a few moments I woke up to find my dogs were just outside my bedroom barking at the neighbours.

I guess the funniest dream I ever had was when I was solving this weird mystery and it ended up so that I found myself digging John F. Kennedy's bones in my back yard. They were weird dinosaus-like bones.

i never really had an extremely funny dream but more like a thought. every once in awhile i'll wake up early in the night laughing my ass off and i won't be able to stop. something that i was just thinking was funny as hell and then i end up laughing at how funny it was to wake up laughing so hard.

Playing tennis with britney spears... I had a crappy plastic pink racket, then a huge orange double racket. Britney cheated, so I beat up the ref.

lol

Me and Paul Mccartney where at a beach throwing soap bars and coconuts into the ocean, then we went to McDonalds and ate Ketchup and Barbeque Sauce...boy was that weird.

I can't decide between the one involving candy-corn shaped wasps made of mozarella or the one where a frizbee turned into a doughnut and hit a DC who was delivering pancakes in a cardboard box.

I should really look through my dream journal to find one, but this one comes from the top of my memory.

My brother was driving our car away from campus. I look off to my right side, because I think I see cops at the intersection, then I turn around and right in front of us are two cops on motorcycles.

The car starts accelerating and I go "Whoa! Slow down!" but he doesn't. Instead our car gets front hydraulics, and it becomes like a game. Hungry Hungry Hippos! to be exact, where the cops are the marbles and our car is a hippo mouth. *Cha-chunk* *Cha-chunk* goes are car as it bounces along the street. The car engulfs the two cops and a really bad noise, like a stalling chainsaw is heard. *DDzzzaannntttaaaannntttaaanntttaannttZZzzzz*

I look over at my brother in disbelief and he has a smile and a satisfied look on his face as he nods up and down as if to say "Oh yeah, I just did that".

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Edit: Should have waited another day before posting, had a pretty funny thing happen in a dream last night.

I was walking through a mall, and I enter this classroom. The aging gentleman was tall, but his head looked like Dash's teacher from The Incredibles. He was instructing the entire class of teenagers how to shave "down there" with a razor. It was mainly girls, but where we entered in the back there were a couple rows of guys.

We go down the side of the class room, and are causing a distraction. We get down to the other entry way as the teacher is throwing us out. We go out the thing that makes it look like we are getting off an airplane, and going into the terminal. There I see Charles Gibson.

Then, an inmate that was in the shaving class had enough of it, and was leaving. On his way out, he passed right by the instructor. As he did, he used his razor and took a big chunk out of what remaining hair he had. I look at Charles Gibson like "Did that really just happen?" and he did the same with me. We both start laughing our asses off like we are stoned. Poor guy did have a horseshoe going, but was missing a chunk right from where the two sides meet in the back.

Hmm, I don't know is this will seem funny or not, but its the funniest/wierdest/longest dream I remember.

Okay, well I was at this guy Chris's house and we were going to watch a movie, and the one that he put in this this really long preview that you couldn't skip or fast forward through. The preview, which wasn't really a preview, if you think about it, was how to make a computer. It was three hours long and there was no sound. It was very aggrivating. Anyway, after that I went home (I don't remember whether I watched the movie or not).

The next morning (of the dream) I was in my room. I had just sat down, and then Ron Weasley walked in. I said, "Hey, what are you doing here?" And he just goes, "SHHH!" and thens climbs into the cabinet under my TV (which wasn't in my room in real life). So I said, "Bad idea, my mom's coming up here in a few hours to clean my room (geez, I wish she'd clean my room in real life!) and she's going to look in there so you've gotta go somewhere else." Then he climbed out and we went downstairs. My mom was about to pass us in the hallway, and Ron grabbed me and pulled me into the nearest room- the bathroom. I was like, "What? Its just my mom." And he said "Yeah, but she doesn't know I'm here!" So we decided to disguise him so if my mom saw him she wouldn't know he was here (I don't really understand the logic in that, but whatever). We put purple tissue paper on his head to look like hair (which wasn't going to fool anyone, if you ask me) and we went outside.

We were going to be having a party, in my dream, and it was in my backyard. In my dream there was a huge hill in the back of my yard, and Mrs. Mooney (the mom of one of the kids in my class) was there on top, with one of those balloon blower-upers, blowing up ugly green balloons. I wanted to go up there, but my mom walked towards me and Ron and was looking at the purple tissue paper on his head. He put out his hands, like 'Don't blame me' and said with a wierd accent, "I'm an exchange student from Russia." My mom seemed to think this was a good excuse, so she walked away. Then, I don't know what happened to Ron, but he wasn't in my dream anymore. I went up the hill to Mrs. Mooney, and said "Uh...I think that's my balloon blower-uper you're using." She yelled at me, "NO! ITS MINE!!" And I said "No, it's mine, see, it has my name in the corner." She got really angry and screeched "NININININA!" and pushed me.

Then Hannah, a girl who is in my class, (everyone I talk about from now on is in my class, unless I state otherwise, okay) who was for some reason an infamous perfume stealer in my dream, showed up. I said, "Hey, its Hannah the perfume stealer!" And then I chased her around the yard for six hours until I caught her. I trapped her by putting her in a sled, and then duct-taping it to the ground. While I had been chasing her, my whole class had showed up to watch, and were so excited that I had caught her that they all got in a line, with Sarah first, and went to a spot in my yard where they all started digging until they dug up a huge can of purple paint and a huge paintbrush. Then they all took turns painting themselves purple. Then they got in a line again, and holding sticks, ran around the yard, occasionally yelling "NININININA!" and "YAAAY!".

While they were running around, Kevin, who hadn't come earlier, stuck in to save Hannah. He was wearing a ruffly pink robe, and his hair was purple and spiky. He said to Hannah, "I will save you." Then he took off his robe, and underneath he was wearing a bull-fighters outfit. He did some strange kind of dance, then a huge house appeared. He unduct-taped Hannah and then the two of them got on the horse. They started to get away when everyone noticed them, and started running after them. They chased them for a few miles, to a subway (I actually can't remember what the real word is, but its an underground train, also called the tube? I'm not sure whether it is called a subway or not) place thing, and then Hannah and Kevin got off the horse and onto a subway to Alakazam (which was a well-known planet in my dream). We all tried to follow them on another subway but we didn't all fit into one, so I was sad.

Then one of the teachers at my school, Mrs. Hurd, showed up. She was wearing a race-car driver's outfit. She took of her helmet and said "I can take you...in my RACECAR!" So we all got into her racecar and she tried to drive to Alakazam, but messed up and brought us to Alakazoo. We were sad....then I woke up.

Hmmm....I had this dream a few nights ago:

My friend Leo (who is Greek) had to tickets to Greece and wanted me to go with him. But apparently, Greece was a planet. In order to get there, I had to steal some blueprint things from my programming teacher, Mrs. McGuire's office. So I got in there and took the blueprints. I heard her going towards the office in the hall, so I quickly dashed out. Then, the next day, her comp got a virus and she blamed me because she saw me run out of her office. The other kids believed me. Okay, so anyway, Leo and I went ot Greece the planet. I had not known this, but the only reason Leo wanted to go there is because Greece is uninhabited and its ground is rich in gold. So we could be rich! So we got there and found this huge tree. We dug near the tree, finding huge chunks of gold. Some silver too. Then, we had to go back to Earth. But apparently we had a flying ship (as in an actual ship) which we had to use to get back. So we were flying it back (we were still on Greece as of now because we didn't take off yet, but gaining speed) when it began to rain. Leo was retarded and dropped like half our gold. In the end, we originally had $12,000 dollars worth, but now we only had $4,000. lol This probably doesn't seem funny, but when I woke up, the idea of Greece being a planet cracked me up.

a dream I had from a couple weeks ago:

"mini churkies" hahalolwtf

they were a cross between hens and small turkies...."churkies"...christ

anyway, they came frozen with these little tins, 1 was a gravy tin, one was I think mashed potatoes, and the 3rd one had custard, so it was like, a mini thanksgiving for midgets or something[/b]

ok not THAT funny but it made me laugh, mainly because I love all my funny midget dreams

A number of years ago, I dreamed of a barn with a tree inside of it, growing up to the roof. I watched as Mariah Carey came into the barn. She went up to the tree and screamed at it "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!" Then she started climbing the tree, only to have it suddenly disappear as she reached the top. She'd somehow grabbed onto this iron beam running across the barn roof, so she was just hanging there in midair.

The dream shifted to other subjects after that, but I read this as I was going through my old dream journal today and started laughing. XD

i had a dream that some one was singing:
freedom is not about falling off a cupboard

over and over again, and the last time i saw someone fall off a cupboard....................................iknow it doesnt sound funny but i found it so funny I WOKE UP LAUGHING!!!!!

Last night I had a pretty crazy dream...

I was in a gigantic swimming pool and my brother was on the rim. He was armed with a minigun and he was shooting at me. I was in terror and panic, tried to dive and hide somewhere... What a WTF situation...

First this made me laugh, then it made me sad

Ok, I had the weirdest dream last night.

I was outside this shopping mall near my house. With Harry Potter. No kidding. And it was a really dramatic situation. I was like "why are we here?" (being serious). He turns around in this kind of slow motion way. Looks at me, there's a dramatic pause...

"I need to rent John Wayne movies"

LMAO!