invadergarf, you DO NOT need to be lucid in order to do this. Simply use dream incubation regarding your situations. Before going to sleep, think about the issue, how and why you are divided. The more you do this, the more you get the hang of it.

For example, I had a situation where I wasn't sure whether to "share myself with other people" or "hold myself hostage in the presence of others". I had a dream where my family was about to leave a mall, when I just walked off and did whatever I pleased. I knew when it was time to come back, and two of them were looking for me. We headed to the car, only to have my family drive off with my mom or I.

It's not always a dream character that will answer your questions. Sometimes, it's the symbolic actions you take. From that dream I got the feeling "just live my life".