Thread: Please HELP ME: Lucid Dreaming = Family Problems

Sorry for long post.



I discovered LDing a few months ago. Understandably I was very excited, LDing was on my mind 24/7 for a while. It was then that I made a mistake: I told my younger brother (age 13) about lucid dreaming.

Obviously, my brother also became very intrested and started reading DV forums and asking me Q's. My parents didn't know what to think - they find the whole concept strange and "not normal". I mentioned it a few times but my parents are not intrested. They seemed uncomfortable knowing that I had introduced my brother to this "strange nonsense" and dissapointed that I (their "mature" 21 yr old son) had influenced my brother with my strange new hobby. This was causing a bit of tension between my parents and I.

Having recently aquired EWOLD I took it round to my parents house where they live with my brother. My brother asked to read some of the book and having already read the first few sections, I thought it was "suitable" for a 13 year old boy. My parents however, disagreed and my brother was not allowed to read the book. They didn't think it was suitable and were scared that it may "affect his brain" because his brain is still developing etc. etc. Naturally I suggested that they read some of the book themselves so they can maybe learn something new and decide whether my brother is allowed to read it or not. However, my parents were having none of it and banned my brother from reading the book. This lead to an arguement between my brother and my parents and caused stress and tension in the house.

If any people read this (thanks), could you please answer a few Q's:


Was I wrong to introduce a 13 year old child to the world of lucid dreaming?

Would LDing affect my brother in any detrimental ways? i.e affect his brain negatively, affect his life in general in a negative way?

Would you say EWOLD is suitable for a 13 yr old and would you introduce it to YOUR youngr brother/sister?


Grateful for any replies people, thanks in advance.

Hey there. Not an easy situation to be in, but I'll try to answer your questions.

- No, it wasn't a "bad" thing to do, and there wasn't any real problem with it until your parent's (over)reacted, although their reaction is understandable.

- No, there are no detrimental effects of lucid dreaming that are known and proven yet, and it's not like it would hurt his development or his brain or whatever. There is ONE negative effect it could have, if he ends up being too obsessed with it and not living his life as a consequence, but that normally won't happen if he understands or you explain that lucid dreaming isn't a substitute for real life, just a way to have a good time or pursue certain goals or experiment.

-I haven't read the entire book, only excerpts I found on internet, but it seems perfectly suitable for someone that age. It's not like it's new age-ish crap, just gives you a better idea of the concept and of how to lucid dream. I don't think I would have shown it to my little brother if I had one, but that's purely because of personal reasons, I don't really mention LDing to people I know because I don't want negative situations to arise (Which doesn't mean they always will, I'm just staying on the safe side).

All in all, I don't think you did anything inherently bad, just things like lucid dreaming are relatively new and can appear like new age BS, although they aren't. The idea in itself seems kinda "weird" and so a lot of people like your parents might be (not without reason) concerned about it. I'd say the best way if you want to continue talking to your bro about this is discuss it with your parents separately in a calm way, even if they protest, and show that you understand how they feel about it, and explain it's not some weird, unproven/occult/new age thing and that you're not 'brainwashed'.

Thanks for replying.

I do regret telling my bro, Id rather he stumbled upon LDing like i did - by chance. I guess I got a bit too excited, infact i hadn't been so excited in years.

Im not successfully LDing yet but I will start trying properly quite soon, ive already had a couple of v.short LDs but more by accident so its not like I even knew what I was on about anyway.

Im not going to talk about the subject with my bro anymore - but im sure he will continue to read up on the subject (he'll probly get bored, new hobby evry week at that age lol).


I think I'll follow your example and avoid discussing lucid dreaming with people I know - i now realize it can be hard for some people to accept or understand what it is exactly.

Good job theres plenty of open-minded people in the world eh?

There are lots of people that have always been able to controle their dreams from the time that they were very young. There's nothing abnormal about it. I dont see a problem with introducing anyone of any age to lucid dreaming.

However, regarding EWOLD there is some parts, mostly concerning dream sex, that may not be apropriate for a 13 year old, but thats your call.

A 13 year old, that doesn't realize he can whatever sex he wants through dreams? Come on, unless you're under 10, that's one of the first things you think of :p

I see, that it's a bad situation you're in. If I were you, I'd go ask my parents why they think it's bad. Make sure you have your facts right though. Never make it an argument, just keep it as discussing and talking. Go and fix this mess, you don't want tension, because your parents are being a bit ignorant.

From what I have read of EWOLD so far there has been mention of sex in lucid dreaming but nothing explicit.

Even if there is nothing explicit/x-rated in the book though, I don't think EWOLD is meant to be read by children - its clearly written for adults. I now think 13 is a bit too young, however, I think in a few years I would not hesitate in lending my copy to my younger brother.

I can see my parents POV for sure, wouldn't want my children doing something I didn't fully understand. Although I would try to understand something before dismissing it.

Also, I have noticed a lot of young posters here try WBTB and WILDing and I wouldn't want my bro doing this as it may affect his performance at school because of losing sleep, low concentration etc.

I guess you gotta be careful who you talk to about LD. It is still a niche subject/hobby afterall and some people just don't get it and may feel uncomfortable if you talk about it.

Its almost taboo to mention LD now at my parents home lol

If I want to discuss LD any time, I can always come to DV though.

Was I wrong to introduce a 13 year old child to the world of lucid dreaming?

Absolutely NOT! I introduced my son to lucid dreaming when he was twelve.

Would LDing affect my brother in any detrimental ways? i.e affect his brain negatively, affect his life in general in a negative way?

Lucid dreaming can only help to broaden his horizons and expand his view of the universe. It will also help him to take a more critical view on reality and teach him to question everything.

Would you say EWOLD is suitable for a 13 yr old and would you introduce it to YOUR youngr brother/sister?

EWOLD is suitable for a 13 year old. Like someone else posted, there are sections on lucid sex, but hey, if he is a normal 13 year old, he probably has been exposed to quite a bit more explicit stuff on the internet.



Good luck with your family problems and if your parents have any questions, I'd be more than happy to speak with them about it. I'm probably pretty close to their age and can offer some credible information.

Or scare them into thinking this LD thing is just a big cult and I'm actively involved in corrupting the minds of the next generations =P

Originally Posted by Day__Dreamer

Sorry for long post.



I discovered LDing a few months ago. Understandably I was very excited, LDing was on my mind 24/7 for a while. It was then that I made a mistake: I told my younger brother (age 13) about lucid dreaming.

Obviously, my brother also became very intrested and started reading DV forums and asking me Q's. My parents didn't know what to think - they find the whole concept strange and "not normal". I mentioned it a few times but my parents are not intrested. They seemed uncomfortable knowing that I had introduced my brother to this "strange nonsense" and dissapointed that I (their "mature" 21 yr old son) had influenced my brother with my strange new hobby. This was causing a bit of tension between my parents and I.

Having recently aquired EWOLD I took it round to my parents house where they live with my brother. My brother asked to read some of the book and having already read the first few sections, I thought it was "suitable" for a 13 year old boy. My parents however, disagreed and my brother was not allowed to read the book. They didn't think it was suitable and were scared that it may "affect his brain" because his brain is still developing etc. etc. Naturally I suggested that they read some of the book themselves so they can maybe learn something new and decide whether my brother is allowed to read it or not. However, my parents were having none of it and banned my brother from reading the book. This lead to an arguement between my brother and my parents and caused stress and tension in the house.

If any people read this (thanks), could you please answer a few Q's:


Was I wrong to introduce a 13 year old child to the world of lucid dreaming?

Would LDing affect my brother in any detrimental ways? i.e affect his brain negatively, affect his life in general in a negative way?

Would you say EWOLD is suitable for a 13 yr old and would you introduce it to YOUR youngr brother/sister?


Grateful for any replies people, thanks in advance.

1. You dream every day, no matter how old. LDing is just knowing that you're dreaming.
2. The best argument I've heard against LDing is that it can make your SC want to have total control all the time. But I don't buy that... unless the person has other mental problems
3. I haven't read the book...

I'm 13 too, and I haven't told my parents about it. But they probably wouldn't care. What's to worry about it? It's not like drugs, I mean, even if you haven't been "introduced" to it, you can still have LDs.

My friend came to me the other day, he's 14, and he said "dude, I had a dream last night, and I knew it was a dream!". So I got to tell him about all the stuff I read on DV. He had never heard of LDs, it happened naturally.

But at first, the idea of LDs can be too new-agish to many people. Especially because LDs are connected to OBE's, astral projection. And WILDing is strange too!

Why don't you have your parents read the DV pages. About it, techniques. Then they can see that it isn't anything to worry about. Hell, maybe they'll try it

And like you said, you've got the entire DV forum to talk about LDs with. We're all interested in LDs.

I feel your pain...
You were not in the wrong at all for the first two questions I however do not know the name of the book you gave him.
Your parents are just freaking out because this is a strange talent that no one really understands....
I'm the same age as you and tried to get my siblings to try Lucid dreaming but neither had the talent but at least my parents didn't flip out.
I applaude you for trying to spread Lucidity.
Hope the tension ends soon enough for you.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone.

Phydeux3 - no, my parents aren't religous at all. But they have always been very shy when it comes to sex (especially my dad - he had a strict muslim upbringing). Unfortuneately, it seems my mum associates LDs with sex only (theres so much more to LDing than sex lol).

My bro is also the youngest in the family and my parents do tend to protect him more than they did my sister and myself.

The tension will not last long at all, im not going to mention lucid dreaming for a while to my parents but Im sure I'll be able to convince my mum to read the introduction to EWOLD down the road.

Who knows, she may become quite intrested herself lol.

In the meantime I will continue to try to LD and im sure my brother will be reading DV forums for info.

Originally Posted by Lex16

I feel your pain...
You were not in the wrong at all for the first two questions I however do not know the name of the book you gave him.

EWOLD is short for Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming, by Stephen LaBerge.

Originally Posted by Day__Dreamer

could you please answer a few Q's:


Was I wrong to introduce a 13 year old child to the world of lucid dreaming?

Would LDing affect my brother in any detrimental ways? i.e affect his brain negatively, affect his life in general in a negative way?

Would you say EWOLD is suitable for a 13 yr old and would you introduce it to YOUR youngr brother/sister?

1) I dontt hink introducing LDing to a kid ANY age is wrong. I dont understand how your parents think it's so strange and abnormal to know that you're dreaming.
2) if LD could affect people negatively i'm sure SOMEONE would have figured it out by know
3) sorry I cant help you with this one, i dont know what EWOLD is

I hope I helped you!

Tell your parents that they have one week to get on the internet (or use any other source) and prove their theory that lucid dreaming is somehow bad, "not normal" or "strange nonsense, and that they are going to have to do a little more than make wild assumptions just because they aren't familiar with the concept.

But O, we can't trust the internets! We all know that

Hmm I suggest you hit your parents with some K N O W L E D G E and then laugh at em' for a bit.

Show them dream books from big shots at Harvard.
Go to the library and print up some reports.
Etc.

Everyone dreams no matter who you are. Some can recall some can't, Some are Lucid, Some aren't. You just got to talk some sense into your (wont say it) parents.

I think it was perfectly ok, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with LDing. After all, they are your dreams, so there is nothing bad about controling them. Maybe you should try again to explain to your parents exactly what lucid dreaming is, so they will understand what it is that you're doing, and that it won't "mess up" your brother's mind.