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    1. #1
      Member jill1978's Avatar
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      common thread

      Out of all the friends and people I asked about lucid dreaming only one knew what is was and claimed to be able to lucid dream since a child. What I find interesting is that she also suffers from mental issues, she's bi-polar, she is also very right-brained and creative...I found this interesting because I suffer from depression and am also very creative. I've also noticed many people in this group suffer from brain issues....Dose anyone think there might be a correlation.

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      Yeah... we're the sane ones and everyone else has been trying to tell us we're nuts since we were little...

      We see... we feel... we know... but we can't always explain...

      We are the prodigies, we are the enlightened....

      We still understand that we don't know everything...

      They know that we have REAL power(they probably don't really know... they're just afraid because they don't understand us)... and so they tell us we're nuts so that we will believe it and then spend the rest of our lives trying to understand why we are crazy... instead of just living.

      Edit: forgot to say... this category of people(the supposed "us" I was referring to) gets bigger every day... it's cool... I'm glad people are starting to wake up from the dream...

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      Member A Lost Soul's Avatar
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      ROFL. Brain issues? Hehe. I like that. I suffer from manic depression (a gift from my parents, yay) and I'd like to think I'm very creative. I think negativity can be a big inspiration. I channel a lot of emotion, both positive and negative, into my artwork and my writing. So yes, I believe there is a correlation between the two. Maybe it's our way of compensating for not being 'normal'?

      “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
      - Kurt Cobain (1967 – 1994)

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      Generic lucid dreamer Seeker's Avatar
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      I don't know of any personal problems. However as a child, I was backward, sensitive, and introverted.
      But was also very curious. This is a trait I share with the other engineers I work with.
      Most people think engineers are wierd and geeky. But what the heck. Why should I care what others think!
      you must be the change you wish to see in the world...
      -gandhi

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      Member Silver Sphere's Avatar
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      I'm exceptionally screwed up, and I like to think that I'm creative and smart and eccentric, but I'm also crap at lucid dreaming. At least I have an interest!

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      Member jill1978's Avatar
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      at least your trying silver, it took me practice, and I still dont do it more than twice a week, which stinks.....My depression is genetic as well, but I agree with second about just feeling things more intensely than others, but sometimes I wish I felt the joy of the world more....I try

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      It's the RADIATION I'm telling you!

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      Member jill1978's Avatar
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      radiation from what

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      From CO... lmao...

      Jill: You can feel all the joy, instead of the pain. I believe I'm very empathetic... and I think a lot of us are... I could be wrong though. I used to only feel the pain(might be because there is more of it than joy?), but... I wanted to see the beauty one day... and I did. I wrote a poem about it... it's always there, I think we just tune it out a lot... your right... you just have to try.

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      Bio-Turing Machine O'nus's Avatar
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      Hey

      Originally posted by Second Attention
      From CO... lmao... *

      Jill: You can feel all the joy, instead of the pain. I believe I'm very empathetic... and I think a lot of us are... I could be wrong though. I used to only feel the pain(might be because there is more of it than joy?), but... I wanted to see the beauty one day... and I did. I wrote a poem about it... it's always there, I think we just tune it out a lot... your right... you just have to try.
      Hey! You tease! Post the poem. I love reading other poetry.

      I'm a published poet myself. If you'd make a thread about it featuring your poem, I'll gladly follow suit ^_^

      ~ Michael : O'nus

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      Member icedawg's Avatar
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      Re: common thread

      Originally posted by jill1978
      I found this interesting because I suffer from depression and am also very creative. I've also noticed many people in this group suffer from brain issues....Dose anyone think there might be a correlation.
      my mom has recently finished the book, "The Noonday Demon (An Atlas of Depression)," and apparently it discusses the fact that generally the more intelligent are the ones that suffer from depression.

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      Member A Lost Soul's Avatar
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      Re: common thread

      Originally posted by icedawg+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(icedawg)</div>
      <!--QuoteBegin-jill1978
      I found this interesting because I suffer from depression and am also very creative. I've also noticed many people in this group suffer from brain issues....Dose anyone think there might be a correlation.
      my mom has recently finished the book, \"The Noonday Demon (An Atlas of Depression),\" and apparently it discusses the fact that generally the more intelligent are the ones that suffer from depression.[/b]
      Is that because we're smart enough to realize how much the world sucks?

      “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
      - Kurt Cobain (1967 – 1994)

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      Member Ginko's Avatar
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      Speaking of asking there friends about dreaming. I was talkin to my pals at a table and 1 of them brought up dreaming. This was like a smack across the face , so i got into it with him when he realizes hes dreaming he likes to conjure woman and all that stuff. He told me that since he was little, when ever he has dreams (dosnt know he just can't rember then yet) he realizes hes dreaming. He even has false awakenings, luky.

      well i was craven attention and since i havn't posted in a long time just wanted to speak up.
      "I thought what I'd do was pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes..."

    14. #14
      Bio-Turing Machine O'nus's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Shawndow
      Speaking of asking there friends about dreaming. I was talkin to my pals at a table and 1 of them brought up dreaming and sometimes when they realize there dreaming they like to conjure woman and all that stuff. This was like a smack across the face * , so i got into it with him and he told me that since he was little hes sometimes often when ever he has dreams (dosnt know he just can't rember then yet) he realizes hes dreaming. He even has false awakenings, luky. *

      well i was craven attention and since i havn't posted in a long time just wanted to speak up. *
      No offence, but I had a real hard time understanding you..

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      Member Ginko's Avatar
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      Sorry im tired and dont want to goto bed. My mind is going blank now and then, all of a sudden it races with thoughs and it gets a lil hard to conctrate.


      I probaly need sleep.
      "I thought what I'd do was pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes..."

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      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      Originally posted by O'nus+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(O'nus)</div>
      <!--QuoteBegin-Shawndow
      Speaking of asking there friends about dreaming. I was talkin to my pals at a table and 1 of them brought up dreaming and sometimes when they realize there dreaming they like to conjure woman and all that stuff. This was like a smack across the face * , so i got into it with him and he told me that since he was little hes sometimes often when ever he has dreams (dosnt know he just can't rember then yet) he realizes hes dreaming. He even has false awakenings, luky. *

      well i was craven attention and since i havn't posted in a long time just wanted to speak up. *
      No offence, but I had a real hard time understanding you..[/b]
      along with me, and probably everyone else...


      anyway...i dunno about me...yeah i get depressed alot, not real serious or anything..


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

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      Member notsonormalchic's Avatar
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      I've often wondered about this. I suffer from depression and am quite creative and into meditaion and expanding my brain. Seems like the good painters and artists also suffer from depression and madness, lol. Always wondered if I was the one who felt more of life and others were just more numb.

    18. #18
      Guardian Serinanth's Avatar
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      hmmm...

      My emotions are strange... I feel, but apparently not like everyone else... I could be called a crybaby, and a stoneface at teh same time.

      Sometimes the simplest things... watching an eagle in flight... a sunrise, or a soulefull song, bring a tear to my eye... as a guy I am taught not to cry, and I hold it in... I duno why... there is so much I feel, but at other times... Ive been called a robot.. an empty husk, I dont get excited...my birthday, whoopdy doo, presents, gratefull, but not excited...

      My feel emotion, but on strange ways, its very powerful, and takes hold of me, if so much passion sometimes others its nonexistant...

      Im not a depressed person, I love life, I want to see it all, experience as much as I can, I am lonely... but it does not make me sad.

      I have ADHD, I thank all that there is that my parents did not put me on drugs... they did what should be done... keep me occupied, let me play, let my imagination free, didnt sit me down in front of a tv, threw me outside, where I of course caused trouble, not bad stuf... just innocent I didnt know better.

      Even with ADHD I have learned how to focus my will, its tough... god its hard... but normaly with a mind that is freflowing on so many different tangents and thoughts, focused on one thing I can do anything....

      Trick is attaining tha focus... its not easy.

      I have been lucid since I can remember, many memories, many stories, many lives.

      As you guys know I am fond of my dragon form, last night I changed again, my wings are different, its hard do describe, I will do my best to draw them. I have the typical dragonic wing, but now the ends, well its almost like the primary fethers of a bird, they extend farther than the rest of the wing, and increase stability and controll, I also have figured out how I can change into dragon form without expending the large amount of energy as it should... Its about time... all about time, when I submit to the light and change, it occurs on such a tiny timescale that the energy required is little, will alone is enough, to create and change the matter around me, to form my dragon self, the smaller the instance of time an even occurs on the less energy or will is reqired to enact that change.
      "A knight is sworn to valor.
      His heart knows only virtue.
      His blade defends the helpless.
      His might upholds the weak.
      His word speaks only truth.
      His wrath undoes the wicked."

      Impossible is only that which has yet to be imagined

    19. #19
      Member jill1978's Avatar
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      I never get excited over things anymore....I remember being little and that feeling of excitememnt over things like christmas and my birthday, and wakeing up at like 6 in the morning excited about the day ahead....i wish I could feel that way again...
      dont worry seri, my husband cries easily as well...over stuff like the animal planet.
      My depression is weird it's like I'm a real positive person and have a pretty good life, but there is a haze over it dulling everything, I also have alot of ideas about life improvements but no energy.
      "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."Albert Einstein

    20. #20
      Member A Lost Soul's Avatar
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      Originally posted by jill1978

      My depression is weird it's like I'm a real positive person and have a pretty good life, but there is a haze over it dulling everything, I also have alot of ideas about life improvements but no energy.
      I don't think that's weird at all. With my meds, I'm also a positive person (ahh, most of the time anyway). Without the meds, I'm the Queen of Pessimism. I can't say I know exactly how you feel (no one can unless they're you), but I do understand and I can relate.

      I'm a Taurus, plus I'm 'gifted' (go genetics!) with manic depression. So I think that makes me ultra emotional. I tend to act on my emotions moreso than my logic. Honestly, it drives me up the wall. I hate it. I would much rather have my senses dulled and not feel things like pain or love (because no matter which way you look at it: love is pain). But I do, and I've decided to just grin and make the best of what I've been given. There's no sense lamenting over the things I can't control (which, as a Taurus, I do with great skill). We Taurans tend to roll around in our own mud, so to speak. Hopefully I can work past that.

      Everyone is different. No two people act and react the same way. We should all try and accept ourselves just the way we are and we need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else!

      Serinanth, your parents are wonderful people. I don't have to know them to see that. They did an amazing job raising a wonderful and beautiful son. Tell them that for me, ok?

      (Seri passes on a message to his parents from some strange girl they've never heard of who lives like fifty thousand miles away: "Hey, mom, dad, this weird chick named 'Lost Soul' says she, like, loves you and stuff." LOL. That won't be a little weird now, will it? )

      “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
      - Kurt Cobain (1967 – 1994)

    21. #21
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      This is a good topic.

      Originally posted by A Lost Soul
      I'm a Taurus, plus I'm 'gifted' (go genetics!) with manic depression. So I think that makes me ultra emotional. I tend to act on my emotions moreso than my logic. Honestly, it drives me up the wall. I hate it. I would much rather have my senses dulled and not feel things like pain or love (because no matter which way you look at it: love is pain). But I do, and I've decided to just grin and make the best of what I've been given. There's no sense lamenting over the things I can't control (which, as a Taurus, I do with great skill). We Taurans tend to roll around in our own mud, so to speak. Hopefully I can work past that.
      Ditto (May 18th)...well except for the manic depression thing. I'm very creative. If you read my profile you'll see that I've been drawing ever since before I could write competently. More recently I've begun painting and just experimenting in general with different pens, pencils, paper, etc. I've always thought space was fascinating too. I'd love to associate peacefully with some aliens or be able to sail the universe like we do the oceans. Because of my enlightened interests, I've always had this "loner" existence. That's the way I want it though, because it's not that I'm trying to fit in and failing, I am who I am and I like being this way rather than "common"--having no interests outside of making ends meet. I'm very shy/backward as well. And like Jill said, despite being much better off than most people I know, I can't even manage to find the happiness they do..let alone enjoy life as much as those I idolize. I guess this dissatisfaction is because with enlightened interests comes enlightened perceptions--we are able to see more deeply into most things, and find much less contentment with what others do.

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      Man... I hate seeing all this. I wish everybody could be happy, and truly happy. I'd tell you all to read Ted Kaczynski's manifesto, but I'm not sure if any of you would even know where to get it, for one, and for two, I'm sure you all think the "unabomber"(Ted) was a "bad" person. Nobody knows the real story, but in his manifesto he puts it best:

      "26. Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a
      sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the
      most important means by which our society socializes
      children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or
      speech that is contrary to society's expectations. If
      this is overdone, or if a particular child is especially
      susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed
      of HIMSELF. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the
      oversocialized person are more restricted by society's
      expectations than are those of the lightly socialized
      person. The majority of people engage in a significant
      amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty
      thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work,
      they hate someone, they say spiteful things or they use
      some underhanded trick to get ahead of the other guy. The
      oversocialized person cannot do these things, or if he
      does do them he generates in himself a sense of shame and
      self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even
      experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are
      contrary to the accepted morality; he cannot think
      "unclean" thoughts. And socialization is not just a
      matter of morality; we are socialized to conform to many
      norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading of
      morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a
      psychological leash and spends his life running on rails
      that society has laid down for him. In many
      oversocialized people this results in a sense of
      constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe
      hardship. We suggest that oversocialization is among the
      more serious cruelties that human being inflict on one
      another.


      34. Consider the hypothetical case of a man who can have
      anything he wants just by wishing for it. Such a man has
      power, but he will develop serious psychological
      problems. At first he will have a lot of fun, but by and
      by he will become acutely bored and demoralized.
      Eventually he may become clinically depressed. History
      shows that leisured aristocracies tend to become
      decadent. This is not true of fighting aristocracies that
      have to struggle to maintain their power. But leisured,
      secure aristocracies that have no need to exert
      themselves usually become bored, hedonistic and
      demoralized, even though they have power. This shows that
      power is not enough. One must have goals toward which to
      exercise one's power.

      41. For many if not most people, surrogate activities are
      less satisfying than the pursuit of real goals (that is,
      goals that people would want to attain even if their need
      for the power process were already fulfilled). One
      indication of this is the fact that, in many or most
      cases, people who are deeply involved in surrogate
      activities are never satisfied, never at rest. Thus the
      money-maker constantly strives for more and more wealth.
      The scientist no sooner solves one problem than he moves
      on to the next. The long-distance runner drives himself
      to run always farther and faster. Many people who pursue
      surrogate activities will say that they get far more
      fulfillment from these activities than they do from the
      "mundane" business of satisfying their biological needs,
      but that is because in our society the effort needed to
      satisfy the biological needs has been reduced to
      triviality. More importantly, in our society people do
      not satisfy their biological needs AUTONOMOUSLY but by
      functioning as parts of an immense social machine. In
      contrast, people generally have a great deal of autonomy
      in pursuing their surrogate activities.

      44. But for most people it is through the power process
      having a goal, making an AUTONOMOUS effort and attaining
      the goal -- that self-esteem, self-confidence and a sense
      of power are acquired. When one does not have adequate
      opportunity to go through the power process the
      consequences are (depending on the individual and on the
      way the power process is disrupted) boredom,
      demoralization, low self-esteem, inferiority feelings,
      defeatism, depression, anxiety, guilt, frustration,
      hostility, spouse or child abuse, insatiable hedonism,
      abnormal sexual behavior, sleep disorders, eating
      disorders. etc. [6]

      50. The conservatives are fools: They whine about the
      decay of traditional values, yet they enthusiastically
      support technological progress and economic growth.
      Apparently it never occurs to them that you can't make
      rapid, drastic changes in the technology and the economy
      of a society without causing rapid changes in all other
      aspects of the society as well, and that such rapid
      changes inevitably break down traditional values.

      59. We divide human drives into three groups: (1) those
      drives that can be satisfied with minimal effort; (2)
      those that can be satisfied but only at the cost of
      serious effort; (3) those that cannot be adequately
      satisfied no matter how much effort one makes. The power
      process is the process of satisfying the drives of the
      second group. The more drives there are in the third
      group, the more there is frustration, anger, eventually
      defeatism, depression, etc.

      61. In primitive societies, physical necessities
      generally fall into group 2: They can be obtained, but
      only at the cost of serious effort. But modern society
      tends to guaranty the physical necessities to everyone
      [9] in exchange for only minimal effort, hence physical
      needs are pushed into group 1. (There may be disagreement
      about whether the effort needed to hold a job is
      "minimal"; but usually, in lower- to middle-level jobs,
      whatever effort is required is merely that of OBEDIENCE.
      You sit or stand where you are told to sit or stand and
      do what you are told to do in the way you are told to do
      it. Seldom do you have to exert yourself seriously, and
      in any case you have hardly any autonomy in work, so that
      the need for the power process is not well served.)

      61. In primitive societies, physical necessities
      generally fall into group 2: They can be obtained, but
      only at the cost of serious effort. But modern society
      tends to guaranty the physical necessities to everyone
      [9] in exchange for only minimal effort, hence physical
      needs are pushed into group 1. (There may be disagreement
      about whether the effort needed to hold a job is
      "minimal"; but usually, in lower- to middle-level jobs,
      whatever effort is required is merely that of OBEDIENCE.
      You sit or stand where you are told to sit or stand and
      do what you are told to do in the way you are told to do
      it. Seldom do you have to exert yourself seriously, and
      in any case you have hardly any autonomy in work, so that
      the need for the power process is not well served.)

      61. In primitive societies, physical necessities
      generally fall into group 2: They can be obtained, but
      only at the cost of serious effort. But modern society
      tends to guaranty the physical necessities to everyone
      [9] in exchange for only minimal effort, hence physical
      needs are pushed into group 1. (There may be disagreement
      about whether the effort needed to hold a job is
      "minimal"; but usually, in lower- to middle-level jobs,
      whatever effort is required is merely that of OBEDIENCE.
      You sit or stand where you are told to sit or stand and
      do what you are told to do in the way you are told to do
      it. Seldom do you have to exert yourself seriously, and
      in any case you have hardly any autonomy in work, so that
      the need for the power process is not well served.)

      65. Moreover, where goals are pursued through earning
      money, climbing the status ladder or functioning as part
      of the system in some other way, most people are not in
      a position to pursue their goals AUTONOMOUSLY. Most
      workers are someone else's employee and, as we pointed
      out in paragraph 61, must spend their days doing what
      they are told to do in the way they are told to do it.
      Even people who are in business for themselves have only
      limited autonomy. It is a chronic complaint of
      small-business persons and entrepreneurs that their hands
      are tied by excessive government regulation. Some of
      these regulations are doubtless unnecessary, but for the
      most part government regulations are essential and
      inevitable parts of our extremely complex society. A
      large portion of small business today operates on the
      franchise system. It was reported in the Wall Street
      Journal a few years ago that many of the
      franchise-granting companies require applicants for
      franchises to take a personality test that is designed to
      EXCLUDE those who have creativity and initiative, because
      such persons are not sufficiently docile to go along
      obediently with the franchise system. This excludes from
      small business many of the people who most need autonomy.

      66. Today people live more by virtue of what the system
      does FOR them or TO them than by virtue of what they do
      for themselves. And what they do for themselves is done
      more and more along channels laid down by the system.
      Opportunities tend to be those that the system provides,
      the opportunities must be exploited in accord with rules
      and regulations [13], and techniques prescribed by
      experts must be followed if there is to be a chance of
      success.

      67. Thus the power process is disrupted in our society
      through a deficiency of real goals and a deficiency of
      autonomy in the pursuit of goals. But it is also
      disrupted because of those human drives that fall into
      group 3: the drives that one cannot adequately satisfy no
      matter how much effort one makes. One of these drives is
      the need for security. Our lives depend on decisions made
      by other people; we have no control over these decisions
      and usually we do not even know the people who make them.
      ("We live in a world in which relatively few people --
      maybe 500 or 1,000 make the important decisions" --
      Philip B. Heymann of Harvard Law School, quoted by
      Anthony Lewis, New York Times, April 21,1995.) Our lives
      depend on whether safety standards at a nuclear power
      plant are properly maintained; on how much pesticide is
      allowed to get into our food or how much pollution into
      our air; on how skillful (or incompetent) our doctor is,
      whether we lose or get a job may depend on decisions made
      by government economists or corporation executives; and
      so forth. Most individuals are not in a position to
      secure themselves against these threats to more [than] a
      very limited extent. The individual's search for security
      is therefore frustrated, which leads to a sense of
      powerlessness.

      72. Modern society is in certain respects extremely
      permissive. In matters that are irrelevant to the
      functioning of the system we can generally do what we
      please. We can believe in any religion (as long as it
      does not encourage behavior that is dangerous to the
      system). We can go to bed with anyone we like (as long as
      we practice "safe sex"). We can do anything we like as
      long as it is UNIMPORTANT. But in all IMPORTANT matters
      the system tends increasingly to regulate our behavior.

      73. Behavior is regulated not only through explicit rules
      and not only by the government. Control is often
      exercised through indirect coercion or through
      psychological pressure or manipulation, and by
      organizations other than the government, or by the system
      as a whole. Most large organizations use some form of
      propaganda [14] to manipulate public attitudes or
      behavior. Propaganda is not limited to "commercials" and
      advertisements, and sometimes it is not even consciously
      intended as propaganda by the people who make it. For
      instance, the content of entertainment programming is a
      powerful form of propaganda. An example of indirect
      coercion: There is no law that says we have to go to work
      every day and follow our employer's orders. Legally there
      is nothing to prevent us from going to live in the wild
      like primitive people or from going into business for
      ourselves. But in practice there is very little wild
      country left, and there is room in the economy for only
      a limited number of small business owners. Hence most of
      us can survive only as someone else's employee."

      That was just a brief account of certain random parts that I thought were important(they are numbered by paragraph). That is just from the beginning too, the whole manifesto is 70 pages long. I haven't even read it all yet, but the man was a genius, and if you study what he was doing, who he killed, and the reasons why, you might think he was a hero, like me. For instance, he killed the CEO of the largest(practically only one) logging company in the US. Just and example. I'm glad he killed that guy, those assholes need to stop cutting down trees and grow more hemp. Hemp produces like... well.. I don't know the exact number off the top of my head, but a shit load of more paper per acre, plus it grows back in like 3-5 months, instead of about 200 hundred years. Any ways... I'm ranting now. The whole point is that I feel great sadness for our society. If anyone seriously wants to learn more, contact me. Sorry for the length of the post.... but I had to put some shit up.
      "If seeing is believing, than we might as well be blind, because the searching leaves us faithless and the outcome undefined." - Cooter(indy punk band)

    23. #23
      Member evangel's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Second Attention
      I haven't even read it all yet, but the man was a genius, and if you study what he was doing, who he killed, and the reasons why, you might think he was a hero, like me. For instance, he killed the CEO of the largest(practically only one) logging company in the US. Just and example. I'm glad he killed that guy, those assholes need to stop cutting down trees and grow more hemp.
      Interesting stuff. He obviously did a lot of homework. Doesn't change the fact that he's a murderer though, does it? Obviously he wasn't smart enough to figure out a way of eliminating his targets without also killing many innocents...

    24. #24
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      *raises hand*

      I was that Kid

      I worked past it all though now, I was the scapegoat for everthing they all picked on me for some reason, duno why, i wasnt overtly fat or dumb or smart... the average kid..
      Then I grew to my present size round 6'2 200 lbs
      and somehow without getting into any fights got the reputation that I would tear peoples arms off...
      "A knight is sworn to valor.
      His heart knows only virtue.
      His blade defends the helpless.
      His might upholds the weak.
      His word speaks only truth.
      His wrath undoes the wicked."

      Impossible is only that which has yet to be imagined

    25. #25
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      What are you talking about? He only killed two people, one the head of the logging company, another a guy that helped exxon get away with their huge oil spill outside of Alaska. He injured a few innocent people, but that was on accident.
      "If seeing is believing, than we might as well be blind, because the searching leaves us faithless and the outcome undefined." - Cooter(indy punk band)

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