I know exactly what you are talking about. Before I started to recall dreams, I was terrified of the way you somehow lose consciousness at night, then wake up in the morning. I would be afraid to fall asleep, wondering how I would lose consciouness and how it felt, and what if I were to actually experience this, etc. And, really, the best therapy for me was learning to remember dreams and facing the fears as well. I also have a great fear of death so I think you are right about the orgin of this fear.
Now, I know that like you say there are periods between dreams and deep sleep, even if you do recall dreams. However, if you recall dreams there is no reason to be afraid of these periods because they are impossible to remember, but you can remember the dreams. Basically you can be assured that there were times at night where you were (more or less) conscious, and you can remember them during the day. You didn't just lie there like a log all night; you did something in your mind.
Facing your fears can help. I like to daydream before I go to bed. During these daydreams I am conscious and know I am daydreaming. When you pass into the state where you think your daydream is real, you won't notice, nor care. In fact, unless you suddenly notice "wait, this isn't real" you'll forget the part consciousness was lost by morning. The daydream can relax you, and distract you from the fact you are falling asleep. It also alleviates that feeling that you just passed out with no memory.
Also, in that state there is sensory input that can be detected. Are you telling me that when you hear an extremely loud noise, or have somebody jump on you that you just keep sleeping? As far as I know most people would wake up quickly from that. If you were really dead, you couldn't be aroused by anything.
Both you and I obviously value our consciousness above most else, along with many others in the world and on Dream Views. However, you must remember, in a state of unconsciouness you can't consciously care.
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