Thread: Valid/Invalid Reasons to be frustrated?

I apologize for the long post, but i feel like expressing my self in detail is what might help me overcome a mental block.

First i would like to introduce my self. My name is Emin. I am 27 Years Old, Originally from the Former USSR and i now live in the USA(been here 17 years)

I have been feeling distraught and a little bit frustrated the past 6 days, I would like to know if any one else has had a similar experience trying to get back into dreamwork.

December 2002 i began my journey into the realm of the spiritual, i read all the Carlos Castaneda Books and absolutely loved them, along side the CC books i was reading "Exploring the World of lucid dreaming" by Laberge and Rheingold. I became fairly proficient in Lucid Dreaming rather quickly.

Between the December 2002 and Febuary 2005 i had a dream journal with 281 Lucid Dreams(well i also wrote my OOBEs in there and counted them as " lucid dreams", even though they had a distinctly different feel)

Things have been kind of hectic the past 3.5 years and i have not kept up with my dreaming practices and strayed a bit off my spiritual journey, though by Dec 10th, 2008 i had 319 lucid dreams written in my Lucid Dream Journal. I felt as time went by i spent less time messing with my dreams and the LDs became more and more rare and my dream record shows that to be true

I recently rekindled my interest in LDs, but things have been alot harder than i imagined. 27 days ago, i started going to bed with dream journal, but my recall has not improved a single bit (im still only remembering 1-2 dreams a night and in the past 27 days out of the 40 or so dreams i have written only 2 have been Lucid)

I have done quite a bit that should warrant much better dream recall and more LDs (in my prime, i was remembering 7-9 dreams a day/night and would have 10-14 lucid dreams a week)

In the past 27 days i have:

-increased the amount of time i spend pondering and reviewing my dreams drastically

-began meditating again for 20-45 minutes a day

-going for long walks every night

-i have gone back and "titled" all 319 lucid dreams i had in my lucid dream journal and even looked through my Non Lucid dream journal(i knew the more attention i gave my dreams the more importance my brain would assign them)

-i have been exercising more and eating healthier (hoping that would boost my brain)

- i have been doing memory exercises and Reality checks

My last lucid dream was on dec 10th, 08, its been 11 days and no more lucids. But that is not my primary concern, what bothers me the most is the fact that my dream recall has not improved. (still only 1-2 dreams a night and im not waking up after each dream to write them down even though that is what i intend every night before falling asleep) Am i getting old? am i trying too hard? im hoping that its just rust i have to shake off, and the fact that my sleep schedule is whacked could be contributing to the problem(I am actually hoping its the primary problem, my sleep schedule is very inconsistent). When i first started my dream journal in 2002, it took me 6 days to have a lucid dream, in less than 4 weeks i was remembering 3-6 dreams a night and was having 2-3 lucid dreams a week.

Has any one else stopped Lucid dreaming for a few years and tried to return to it? Was it easy or did you have similar problems? Do you guys think my feeling frustrated is unwarranted?

Thanks for hearing me whine. I feel a lot better now that i got to share my frustrations and get them off my chest.

I looked around for a forum where i could talk to people about dreams, this place seems really really awesome. It seems like you guys have an awesome community. Im very excited to be here.

Emin

ps:
Out of all the LDs i had in the past, i thought 9 of them were life changing / extremely extra ordinary. If any one is interested, tomorrow when i get off work i will share a couple of them.