I think that lucid dreams can help you gain confidence or overcome fears, but as far as specific techniques go I couldn't help you there. I'd suggest the good old fashion method: find someone your interested in and attracted to and take the time to get to know her. Quick "fixes" or seeking to get someone else in bed or in love with you will only get you in trouble sooner or later.

As far as a dream being "stable" I'm not sure what you mean. If by stable you mean you have more control over them, I can relate on a alevel, but some of my most meaninful dreams have been the unstable ones. I think part of the reason for this "instability" manifesting itself in dreams is to provide an outlet for the subconscious, and not necessarily stability.