Probably my most recent favourite was the time I fought off a horde of rampaging zombies, and then Voldemort.
Yeah, it's a bit long, my apologies... if you fancy some more, check out my dream journal link in my sig.
30.03.2010 Zombieland (DILD)
NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID
I was woken up quite early in the morning, and went back to sleep naturally after 10 minutes. If I can't be bothered WILDing, just falling asleep again after waking is much easier and works almost as often. I think the short time of being awake revs up the logic centre of the brain, making it far easier to spot dream signs.
I was in some sort of small holiday complex. I "woke up" in the swimming pool. My head was leaning against the side, and I was still wrapped up in my red duvet- which wasn't actually all that wet. I was extremely groggy, and couldn't really move. I could feel that I was wearing my jeans though, and thought,
"Shit what if my phone gets wet? Aha!" All to easy, point to me. For some reason, the groggy inability to move stuck with me, and I had another false awakening.
I woke up beside the pool this time, it was as if I had fallen asleep on a deck chair. The pool was indoors, with a glass roof. I was in my swimming shorts, so I jumped straight into the pool. There were a few people I knew swimming around too. I hopped in an inflatable yellow dinghy and someone pushed me around for a while. Later, I was informed by one of the reception staff that a letter had arrived for me. (What's this, 1970?) She stuck it to the wall with a tack and went back to the front desk. I got out of the pool, dried myself off and went over to read it. I got the general gist of its content, which went something like, "Sorry we can't make it, but we gave ou tickets to our two friends, you'll like them." Apparently it was from someone I knew who wouldn't be coming on holiday. I spent absolutely ages trying to read the names of the people the letter was from, and the names of the people who were coming in their stead. Every time I looked at it, it seemed slightly different, and I would notice new things. It was also pretty high up on the notice board, and I couldn't reach to take it down. A girl I know called Emma came over and asked what was wrong. I told her that I couldn't read what the hell was on this letter, and asked if she wouldn't mind having a go.
"Sure," she said. "Lift me up." I put my arms around the top of her legs and lifted as high as I could. She unbalanced me when when she reached out for the letter, and we fell. She landed on top of me, and I broke her fall. I found it weird that I wasn't even winded, even though her knees had come crashing down on my chest. She laughed, then kissed me before informing me that I should be getting to work. Apparently this was one of those holidays you work during to afford. I put on my roller blades and left through the front door of the complex. I made my way downhill, past what looked remarkably like the sea near my house, and arrived at a restaurant. Apparently I was a waiter. I rolled straight into the kitchen like a ballet dancer, to the cheers of the chefs and other waiters. I stored my roller blades in a locker, and there was much banter about the state of my hair. Before we headed out to wait tables, the head waiter made sure we all smelled great, by squirting a huge cloud of Davidoff: Cool Water aftershave which he made everyone walk through.
Just then the owner stepped into the kitchen and called for silence. He informed us of the terrible news that there had been, I quote: "An uprising of the undead." The chefs and waiters let out cries of alarm and disbelief, but I smiled and said,
"Awesome." You can never have too many zombie dreams. I folded my arms and waited to hear the specifics from the restaurant owner. He said that the plague had begun several hours ago, but it had only now reached this area. Apparently, all the area's rich residents had been evacuated to safety hours ago, but we had been purposely left behind. He went on, "We are the..."
"Cannon fodder?" I interrupted. He looked furtive for a second, and I knew I was right. There were various moans of "Oh no," etc. from the staff, so I turned to them and said,
"Have you ever seen Shaun of the Dead?" Most of them nodded. "Well it'll be like that, only more fun." With that, I headed outside, ready to get laid in there. I looked up the road to my right, towards the holday complex I had come from, and hovered up to my head-height. I decided I should go back there and try to help my friends, so I started flying in that direction. I was going pretty fast, faster than I usually manage when flying unaided. I passed hundreds of zombies. They were emerging from the sea to my left, and staggering up the beach onto the road. I saw humans getting bitten and immediately turning. It seemed this was a particularly virulent strain of your standard zombification virus. (Think 28 Days Later) People would get bitten, or some infected blood would land on their exposed skin, and right away they would double over, screaming viciously. Their eyes went completely bloodshot, and for some reason, their gums started bleeding. I kept up the pace, but more and more zombies kept chasing me. I wasn't going fast enough to lose them, and was such an easily visible meal (flying at over 6 feet), that I was basically drawing hundreds to me, who joined the mob on my tail. As I flew, I concentrated hard on a sentence, and sent it out to everyone in the area telepathically. It told everyone I knew to meet me at the holiday complex. I heard the sentence booming in my head, and I had a good feeling that it would work. I wanted to fight off some zombies with a bit of company. I zoomed up the hill to the tall front doors of the complex, and found them locked indefinitely. I tried to break them down but they were completely solid. I turned round slowly, to face a semicircle of zombies that had formed around me, cutting off all routes of escape. I took up a fighting stance and they started coming at me. I didn't pay attention to faces or numbers, I stepped from zombie to zombie, breaking necks and punching clean through chests. Neck breaking was by far the easiest move, so I used it the most.
There was a lull in the action. They had stopped attacking, and were now just staring at me, snarling. I heard a voice calling me.
"Help! John!" It was an old friend of mine who I no longer like. He was waving at me from within the crowd. He forced his way to the front and ran over to me. "Thank God!" he gasped. Something wasn't right about him. He looked incredibly tired, and wasn't moving his lips very much when he spoke.
"Hang on," I said. "Let me see your teeth." He shook his head, so I grabbed him and had a look for myself. His gums were unmistakably bleeding (like the rest of the infected) and as soon as I saw them, he growled. He was just pretending to be clean to get close to me! I wasn't having this. Since my hands were already inside his mouth, I tore his head apart by the jaws. It really wasn't pretty. In fact I immediately regretted it- the popping and cracking sounds were bad enough, never mind the sight. I threw down the pieces and glanced behind me. Emma from earlier had appeared in front of the door, along with David Cameron, leader of the Conservative Party. Why the hell was he there?? I'd had enough of killing zombies for now, so I took them both by the arm and floated them onto the roof, where I reckoned there would be a skylight of some sort I could use to get inside. I had to imagine they were both nearly weightless to get them to leave the ground at all. From there it was just a matter of floating myself up and dragging them behind.
Sure enough, there was a skylight which I was able to kick open. It was dark inside, and instead of the reception and swimming pool I had left, there was now a winding corridor with hundreds of black doors. They all had labels on them, but I couldn't read any. I was helping Emma and DC down when the front door burst open. It was Voldemort, and he had an army of zombies behind him.
"Leg it!" I shouted. We ran through the maze of corridors with Voldemort firing spells after us, but never quite catching up. I picked a random door and opened it to throw Emma and DC inside. It opened into an entirely different place- maybe an office building. I shut it behind them and turned round to face Voldemort. He didn't engage me personally, preferring instead to send zombie after zombie at me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a wand. Not knowing many spells, I made some up on the fly. They were all complicated latinate words, which all seemed to work. Unfortunately I can't remember them at all now. When I had the chance, I jumped through the door I had sent the other two through, and slammed it behind me. I imagined these doors worked in the same way as doors opened by the "Keymaker" in The Matrix- Voldemort would not be able to follow. I glanced around the cubicles, but couldn't see any sign of life. Out of nowhere a woman ran up to me begging for help. I recognised the bloodshot eyes and bleeding gums of a zombie instantly, and pointed the wand at her.
"Avada kedavra," I sighed. (The killing spell) She dropped like a stone.David Cameron and Emma decided to make their presence known, and stood up from behind a desk.
"Just wait till I tell parliament about this!" Cameron said.
"Obliviate," I replied, with the want pointed at him, thus wiping his memory.
"Thanks," he said dozily.
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