Thread: I Desperately Need Help

First of all, you need to calm down a bit, take a few breaths. As soon as you start getting desperate it's game over. Remember, it's always better to stop right were you are whenever you feel you're getting off track, and evaluate your current situation. What's important here is to notice that you didn't get to where you're at by mere chance. Note that your procrastinating problem was developed over time and has grown out to become a very stable habit which you naturally relate to. We've all been there, believe me, it's like you know that what you're doing isn't helping you yet you can't stop doing it. That's only natural, a habit isn't something that's easy to change out of thin air. It took you a great amount of time to build it, so note it's going to take an equal amount of it to replace it. That's the beauty of it, because if you alone got yourself into that procrastinating habit, then you alone can get out of it. You and only you can change all this for the better, it all lies with what you do or stop doing.

The way I see it, based on personal experience, is that the mind loves what it's used to doing, it resists change at all costs. If you try to change any habit by jumping over it, then 99% of the time you'll find yourself back in square one, with little to no progress being made, the mind is really that powerful. The trick here is to ease the change slowly, so as to make it almost imperceptible for the mind to notice. You'll want to keep a challenge that may allow for some resistance by the mind, yet not strong enough that you can't handle. Note that motivation alone isn't going to work for this. Action is needed, you need to DO something if you want to change this habit.

So, lets start at the absolute worst situation you could be in: you get home and you don't spend a single minute doing any of the work you've been left to do for school. What I recommend then is that you devote at least 30 minutes to DO your work. It's 30 minutes, it's that easy, that simple, piece of cake. Or, if you find it too easy, then go for the hour, but keep it simple, keep it as something that's easy for you to handle without much effort. You do this for 25-30 days, and you'll see yourself becoming naturally more and more comfortable with devoting the 30 min. doing your school work. After the 30 days, you increase the challenge. So, in this case, if you started with 30 min. then the next month you go for the hour. If you started with the hour, then the 2 hour mark is your goal. You do this again for 25-30 days, then increase the challenge. Before you know it, you'll suddenly find yourself devoting up to 3-4 hours (or more hours if that's what you want) to the completion of any school work you have. A new habit will have been born into you.

It's amazing how the mind gets around simple tasks like this. It 'thinks' the activity is too easy; it's only 30 minutes of work, the mind can afford to 'waste' 30 minutes doing something productive. Yet, if you keep with the practice the mind will suddenly find itself devoting more and more time doing something which it least 'expected' doing. Then, what was naturally habitual for it (procrastination) has now changed (whichever new habit you wanted to develop).

A word of caution though, the most important, the most fundamental aspect to reaching anything is action. You must DO something different if you want to CHANGE something. It only works one way. Thinking about it is of no help in this situations. In fact, do not think about your problem or anything related to it when attempting to change. Just do, doing is what's important in here. Make this the most important thing for you as soon as you get home. It's the first thing that you do, nothing else. Also, if you decide to do this, then notice that starting a new habit, changing, is the most difficult thing. It's that initial period where you'll feel the greatest challenge. The 30 min. or an hour of practice might appear to be easy in paper, yet it's something obviously easier said than done. But press on, and persist with the practice. If you manage to persist, if you continue moving, continue doing, then you'll soon find yourself breaking through and into a much more comfortable state with what you're doing. After that initial period of challenge, it only gets easier from there.

Hope this helps.