Hi Professors and fellow classmates,

A bit about me:

My name is JJ but I do also go by SpiceRack when I am hiking. I am 26 years old, I work on a humane sheep, cattle and pig farm in Pennsylvania, though I am from Brooklyn, NY. I am deeply interested in Eastern philosophy, meditation, yoga, religion and spirituality. I move around a lot, usually finding a new gig in a new place every 6 months to a year. I have worked in development in East Africa, in finance on Wall Street, studied the politics of international relations and war at some university and walked from Mexico to Canada. One of my goals in life is to find a village or community living situation where I can live with as little dependence/interaction with the industrial global economy, which I consider to be exploitative and destructive. Consumerism is my sworn enemy. One of my other goals in life is to lead humanity into the Age of Aquarius, striking down the hierarchy of global capitalism and dogmatic religions for a new understanding of the one'ness of the universe

I spend a lot of time in my own head. I am the introspective, contemplative type. I like to read (particularly the broody, suicidal types like Hesse, Kafka, David Foster Wallace, Dostoyevsky) and think more than I like to do. I want to know all about God and the world religions, especially mysticism. I think I might be a closeted Buddhist. I am a philosophical relativist for sure. I attend a Mennonite church and am a very active member of my church community, despite not being a Christian or even a theist. I just really love experiencing spiritual practice and loving communities (and potlucks).


Reality Checks:
For the past few days I have been looking at something, looking away, and then looking back at it.
This actually scares me every time, kind of like a horror movie. I always expect on some level to look back and be surprised.

Dream Signs:
None that I know of yet.

Short-Term Goals:
To record my dreams and practice awareness, which is a major pillar of my spiritual training anyway. I am actually curious to learn more about the relationship between awareness (also, mindfulness) in the LD community and Eastern philosophy. When I read something on awareness on this forum which talked about becoming aware of your surroundings all the time as a means to LD'ing, I thought: Are you serious? This quality of awareness in daily life is what Buddhist monks spend lifetimes developing! I guess I was shocked to hear of this method which I consider to be my lifeline to sanity and growth being recommended as a casual habit one can just pickup. That said, someone who knows more about this please tell me what's up. (I am excited about the possibility that the novelty of LD'ing could be an effective inducement to greater awareness.)

Long-Term Goals:
To uncover my inner, subconscious tendencies, patterns, habits, desires by breaking through the wall of my conscious inhibitions. To be more fully me. To push the limits of what I have experienced in being a human consciousness. To be more creative and motivated in life. To be kinder to myself and others.

Also to be a lightsaber wielding Jedi and ride a giant sand-worm into battle.

Lucid/Dream Recall History:
I have had two lucid dreams in my life. These two dreams occurred in two consecutive nights in which I had just moved to a foreign country where I knew I would be living for at least a year. In each I was lucid for only a few moments before I became terrified about this prospect and forced myself awake (by yelling loudly). In the second dream, I had a false awakening after a moment of lucidity achieved by looking in a mirror in the dream and not recognizing my face. I then woke up in my dream, believed I was awake in reality, realized this was not where I went to sleep and then did the yelling force-awake thing again. This experience was exhilarating and scary.

I recall my dreams pretty much every morning but quickly forget them as the day goes on. They tend to be vivid. I am hopeful about LD'ing because I have had a sense of being on the cusp of awareness in my dreams generally.

Current Technique:
I am beginning by trying to DJ and practice awareness in all things. As I stated above, the latter is my major life goal anyway (to see God or the one'ness of all things with total equanimity in every atom of every moment), so...here goes nothing!

Thanks everyone for having me.