Excellent questions Tony, and unfortunately I don't have good answers. Hate is right when he says that the idea is to get in the habit of doing RCs, so that you'll do them in your dreams too, but that method has never worked for me.

For me, the second part of your question is closer to the truth -- I suddenly get the idea that I might be dreaming, and then do a test to make sure -- although if I have enough precense of mind to question reality I always seem to know whether I'm dreaming or not -- it's just a feeling. Since I can always fly in my dreams, as soon as I think I'm dreaming I will attempt to lift off the ground and float or fly (please, don't do a RC by jumping off a building!) As soon as I'm off the ground, then that's 100% confirmation that I'm dreaming.