How can you use inherent or unusual dream knowledge and or an awareness of strange dream mechanics to become lucid?

Last night I had a dream involving 4 DCs and myself on a boat. At first I was there as an observer but slowly become a character myself (the fifth character). In the dream I was distinctly aware of a "storyline" in which 2 of the DCs, children, were killed off. Inserting myself in the dream I intended to change the outcome of the "storyline" to one in which those DCs lived. I did not enter myself into this tale consciously, nor was the attempt to change the timeline anything other than a subconscious manifestation of my preferences. However, this instinctual awareness of an overarching plot, as well as certain physical actions in the dream stirred my consciousness (or at least should have). At one part I grabbed villainous DC from behind and attempted to break his neck. However at the moment my dream arms wrapped around his neck I suddenly became aware that I didn't know how to do it, not really (I guess somewhere in my head realizing the real me doesn't do cinematic action moves like this normally) and that the villain's head had sort of destabilized so I became aware of the feeling of my arms clutching themselves (or in retrospect, perhaps the sensation of my physical arms wrapped around my skinny pillow).

Any of these events should have triggered my conscious mind into becoming aware of the dream. In fact some seemed to partially. But so far the only real lucid triggers have been horrible nightmares where my mind finally rebels against the thought of encountering another horrific scenario.

What gives?