Please Help

[Dragoness]

I've just recently found this site through Google while searching for way to stop my night terrors/nightmares. I've been "studying" what's been going on in my head for a while now and have discovered that I've been lucid dreaming since I was about 8 years old, and have them just about every time I fall asleep. Reoccurring dreams happen quite often as well. I believe I started having lucid dreams because when I was younger I was abused at home, and at school I was terrorized, because of this I started to look forward to going to bed at night, and now I know why. The problem is, is that since I've gotten older I seem to have lost my ability to control most aspects of my dreams. Things in my daily life, including what I read and watch, as well as my emotions during the day affect what i will dream about at night. I've practiced trying to think about "Rainbows and butterflies" before I go to sleep so that I will not have night terrors, but it seems to have failed miserably. I constantly have VIVID nightmares that I can only slightly change, a lot of my nightmares include my 4 year old son and the worst thing is, is that i know for a fact I'm dreaming but yet I can't change what's happening, nor can I wake myself up. IF I do manage to wake myself up and get back to sleep it starts off where I left off.... And thus the night terror continues. Everything that happens I always remember when I wake up, and sometimes discussing it can set off a panic attack it was so horrible It's gotten to the point where I have severe anxiety, I have to sleep with a light on of some sort, preferably with some background noise as well. There is no way I could ever fall asleep in pitch black without any noise, I would probably end up in the hospital looking like a crazy woman suffering from a sever panic/anxiety attack. I'm hoping that maybe I can get some direction or some help as o what I can do to help manage my issue, I understand that many people try to have lucid dreams but at this point It's scaring me, I'd rather not dream at all in this case, if all I can have have night terrors. I would even go so far to be tested if need be, I want to be able to sleep in peace again. I would be glad to answer any questions if it meant getting help. Thanks so much.

[Oreo]

Not that it will stop your nightmares, but you shouldn't go to sleep soon after waking up from a nightmare. You should take a moment after waking up to calm down and forget about the event completely. Meditation before bed might also help prevent the nightmares. As for dream control, reading the dream control tutorial might give you some ideas how to make it easier again. Because of your panic attacks, anxiety, and your past trauma, I think you might actually want to see a doctor/therapist if you aren't already.

[Matte87]

Like Oreoboy said, if you aren't already seeing a psychiatrist, then I also suggest you try it out. Nightmares are often caused by negative emotions and events in real life, but some can't really be dealt with alone. It sounds like you're very worried about your son's health and that's why you're having nightmares about him. By not paying attention to things in a dream, they will go away. If you're lucid and can't stop the thing from happening, close your eyes and hold your hands to your ears. Start singing a song and focus on it. You'll soon wake up or end up in a more pleasant scenario. Why you're ending up in the same nightmare before is because you're afraid you will. Try to stay up for a while and get something else on your mind.

[SkylightMT]

Hi Dragonness, I have a 6 year old and I strongly believe there is something hormonal about motherhood that increases our anxiety when our children are between the ages of birth to around age 6. It does get better eventually. I'm not sure if its caused by disturbed sleep, breastfeeding, extended postpartum hormones, or WHAT - but you are not alone when it comes to increased anxiety and increased disturbing dreams. I think one thing you should do, because it is so common to mothers of young children, is make an appointment with your primary care doc or a naturopath and get your adrenal, thyroid, vitamin D, and iron levels checked out. There is often some underlying imbalance to our anxiety and sleep issues. It gets complicated, but a common occurance is for a mom to be low thyroid and low iron, causing an increase in adrenal activity to compensate, which causes increased anxiety and sleep issues. After that or maybe in addition to that you could see a psych for help with sleep and anxiety. He/she will probably prescribe meds but whats important to remember is that the meds aren't pemanent. Once you get back into a good sleep cycle and learn some techniques for managing the anxiety better, you can taper the meds. In addition, learning to manage anxiety does carry over to the dream state to some extent. You'll find yourself using the strategies automatically in your dreams. Also continue to work towards better dream control and lucidity. You can get better at this. You will get better at this. Browse this forum - there's a ton of information that will help you increase your skills.