Newbie

[vividreamer]

Hi everyone, I have just stumbled across this site last evening trying to find a reason why my husband cannot recall any of his dreams and I have literally had a shock. I started to read and all of sudden I had the feeling as if I've written most of things here myself. I have had lucid dreams since the age of 12 (I'm now 28) after seeing an article in a newspaper about a girl being able to do it. So I said to myself if she can then I can. So I started to keep conscious at all times when going to bed and literally stepping into my dream in like slow motion. If I'm not careful or I become over excited which happens sometimes I bounce back but for very short time and then back in my dream. The other thing that happens quite often is the paralysis which is really frightening. I have been able to control it to a minimum and try to turn it in my favor. I usually end having sex during that stage or mostly being "abused" by shades... Anyway, my problem as it is , is every time I have a lucid dream I seem to be trying to convince everybody around me that we are dreaming and sharing the same dream. I'm like..hey let me tell you this we are now dreaming and sharing the same dream and when you wake up you will remember...HILARIOUS!! Or I end forcing somebody to have sexual relationships with me or I try to teach everybody in my dream to fly. I'm not very good at controlling my dreams and the only way i can define my experience in controlling my dreams is : when I do it DISASTER STRIKES!! I know!! The guy I want to have sex with doesn't want to (I don't know why I seem to have such a high sex drive in my dreams...I'm not like this in real life) ....when I want to drive the car of my choice I end carrying it in my arms eventually...I start flying and i collapse or just panic, I end dying a lot in my dreams as well... I also have a technique of waking when things go terrible wrong....I just look up the sky and next second I'm awake. Most of my dreams are violent, the gun I always know i hold in my pocket doesn't seem to fire right so I get shot. I would love to be able to control them better. I believe a quarter of our life we spend sleeping. It's a lot by anybody's standards so why not turn it into something exciting. For me it's a second life I have and most times I'm looking forward to going to bed. What am i going to experience next? Not paralysis i hope!!! LOL Thank you for your patience in reading this Long post. If anyone can advise me how to better control my dreams is more than welcome to do so. All the other posts are welcomed to . Thanks for having me around.

[splodeymissile]

Just an fyi. Sleep paralysis is a disorder. What you are experiencing is REM atonia and it's perfectly normal and certainly nothing to be afraid of. As far as dream control goes, I know how you feel. I have a massive sex drive in dreams too. Dream control is as much an art, as lucid dreaming itself is. Practice makes perfect and all that. You seem to be id dominated in the dream world. The trick is to allow your ego to be dominant. This will require a great degree of self control both in waking and dream life. As for REM atonia, the trick is to not pay attention to it. Its a sign post. Notice it briefly for directions to the dream world, then be on your way. Finally, I want to congratulate you on being able to WILD straight from going to bed. I've only done this twice and both occasions didn't last very long. S

[BlairBros]

Welcome! You've made me jealous being able to naturally WILD without any training, as I haven't been able to WILD at all yet. Hopefully you can learn to hone your skills here and overcome your REM atonia and gain better control skills. Good Luck!

[vividreamer]

Hi splodeymissile and BlairBros, I want to thank both of you for responding to me. It feels great to talk to people that experience similar things. I only told to two people before, one of them a school mate around when I started to WILD like you call it and then friendship finished....I believe she thought I'm insane. The other person is my husband and so far he didn't show any signs of disbelieving me. He did say he would like to experience stuff like this so maybe its a sign he does trust me. One question is what is id dominant or ego dominant? Thanks

[Nihal]

Hey there, Vividreamer! Wow, great that you can dream lucid that easily! I admire that! About the sex drive: this is normal and very common. Dreams are in fact products of your subconscience, and no matter how 'civilized' or decent you are in reality, in dreams your subconscience dominates. And the subconscience is all about food, violence and sex. When we are awake we can constrain ourself and when we feel like wanting sex, we do not just jump at somebody and do our thing. But in dreams there is no constraint. Freud had some great theories about that... So this is normal and not 'wrong' in any way. Dream control is all about confidence. I only had 2 lucids, but in both I was able to control my entire environment. For me getting lucid is the problem! But anyways, you have to be confident and believe in yourself while you dream. Don't just command your environment, but expect the environment to react the way you want to. You have to believe in it. Constantly keep in mind that you are the master of your own dream, you are inside your own head and you decide what happens. Thats what Blairbros means with dominant ego, I think. Little tricks might help. If you find it too hard to just summon a rainbow out of nowhere, do it VIA something. Like... open the watertap and expect a rainbow to come out. If you find it too hard to teleport, turn your closet into a magical teleport machine and do it VIA that machine. Thing is to keep it "realistic" for your brain, which is easily done when you use all these little tricks. Of course I'm just a newbie, but I hope my knowledge was of some kind of use to you. ^^ Good luck with your next lucids!

[vividreamer]

Since you mentioned you have it hard to do this WILD thingy I thought i share with you the way it works for me. When I go to bed and I shut my eyes I don't just give in..I try to make out images with my eyes shut. An example would be, say, if you would be in a dark room no lights at all right? Imagine how you would try to make out what's in there. How would you really try to see around the dark room. That's how i do it. I keep my eyes close and I try to look. And the black image I obviously have in front of me it starts to present shadows or dark. Almost like seeing movement but very little. Then at some point I start to see blue.. Like INK blue...so almost black... and this blue slowly becomes more like vivid blue in the center and still quite dark on the edges.. Its almost like being in a woodland and surrounded by trees and you would look up and see the sky... And the vivid blue turns lighter and lighter just like summer blue sky... Then its where my dream starts... Its a bit foggy but clears within seconds... Its the foggy bit that might cause excitement and a rush and might make you bounce out...Its being able to control first few seconds until u're fully within the dream. One thing, if you do wake don't move and don't open eyes and chances are you would be back in the same dream within short time. If you do change your position or open your eyes or even change your breathing pattern, chances are next dream wont be lucid and be completely different as well. So remember, close your eyes and try to see as if you were in a dark room. Hope this helps. Thanks

[splodeymissile]

The human mind (if you believe Freud, I think he came up with this) is split into three parts: the id, which handles urges such as hunger, sex and generally strives to be happy with no regard to anything else. The superego, which strives for perfection and is concerned about morality and putting others before yourself, so the exact opposite. And finally, the ego. This is you. When the id screams hungry, the ego hunts for food. When the superego begs "save them", the ego is the one who listens. In effect, the ego strives for balance between the other two. In waking life, most are ego dominant: they are able to control their actions. In the dream, for me and for you, the id is dominant. I believe this stems from the fact that the dream world is like your own private universe, where no one can get hurt. Without potential guilt, the superego is content to just watch. This leaves the ego i.e. you, with only one person to please: the id. Think about it. Pleasure, happiness, euphoria, all can be gained without slightly inconveniencing anyone. This is good and all, but after doing nothing but sex for who knows how long may get dull. Eventually, you will want to try something new. So, what I do is: I deliberately fight the id. I don't manifest it as, say, a demon and get into fisticuffs with it (though that might work). I just fight the impulse to jump into bed with every dream character I see. Each person has their own way of fighting it. I personally work on a project. Currently I'm exploring the dreamviews academy and searching for my dream guide. Don't think for a moment that dream sex is inherently bad. It's just that I would rather be the one doing it, not some perverted monster in the back of my mind. Finally, sorry is this post seems too long.

[vividreamer]

Hi Nihal, So if I can dress it all up in a believable story the chances are I get what I want in my dream. It makes sense really. I'm still at that stage in my dreams where i poke my fingers and expect things to happen. Or i talk to my watch and the fancy car shows up. I'm good at teleportation (going though the walls) it is the end destination that isn't what i expected to be. Plus the whole sensation I get, almost like I am being elongated and my whole molecular body is being rearranged is being weird.

[Nihal]

Hi! And yep, that's the trick, make your mind believe in what you're doing. For example with that teleportation, before you walk through a wall, say out loud what your destination will be and truly believe you'll arrive there once you've walked through the wall. It's all about tricking the mind. Splodeymissile also really explained the Freud-theory I was talking about :p So his explanation might help you in ignoring that sex-drive, should you want to, and choose a different topic.

[vividreamer]

Hi splodeymissile, Thank you for clearing things up. I will try my best to fight my basic urges. Sometimes very rarely though I try to get answers for the after life possibility. I usually ask people I used to know who are now dead to tell me but again the same problem....I forget its what i make of it... They never talk to me though these dead people... its like they know some universal truth and not allowed to share with the living ones...LOL. But obv its just me and my beliefs.... Cheers