Well first off, welcome! I'm a newbie too, and I'll do my best to answer most of your questions.
For most people to have their first lucid dream, it takes practice, and sometimes a month or more. I was lucky to have a lucid dream a day after I heard about it. It only lasted about 30 seconds, and was only about half lucid, but it's an incredibly experience. Here's my advice...
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Before you go to bed, tell yourself you're going to remember your dreams, and that you'll become lucid. This method is one of the big things that has been helping me this week. Also, how many dreams are you recalling per night? To be a good lucid dreamer, it's generally said you should remember 2-3 dreams per night. This is the step I'm working on right now and I'll tell you if I figure out any techniques that help.
But most of all, don't get frustrated or give up. It's like an instrument... you're not going to sit down at a guitar and play an incredible song straight up, this takes practice.
But hey, I've only been trying this for about a week. Maybe some big lucid dreamer will post and prove me completely wrong. Who knows?
Feel free to PM me with any questions or anything! 
EDIT: About reality checks. They seem to be working for me. I used them at camp (where I heard about lucid dreaming) and one night when I had a dream about going somewhere in camp I thought Hmmm... better do a reality test! and to my amazement I could fly. It only last about 20 seconds, but it was great. The RT's help me, but they take a lot of practice.
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