Man thanks a lot Placebo, you're mad smart friend cause that last part made perfect sense. I come from a family that is highly highly religious. A family where anything like "this" is automatically written of into Demon worship, (I kid you not). Eventually I grew up and out of it and set out to find my own truth. But I think that just might be it because you gotta think for a good 15 years everyday of my life was... "demon, Satan, evil". In fact I had the same feeling last night that I did when I started having sex with girls which was guilt and fear. And at the time I couldn't explain because I know I love sex, but subconsciously I felt like I was doing something wrong. I guess I'm to have to man up and train myself to move forward sorta like what I did with sex. Again thanks a lot man, it makes sense now.