hi CaAngel! and as i'm sure someone that has been affiliated with this site for a while would say, welcome to dreamviews! i'll accept my own welcoming to you as a welcoming to myself also haha!

i'm sorry to hear that you have such displeasure with your dreams, however i would like to instill a sense of hope in you by saying this..

i have been interested in lucid dreaming for a while and as a consequence of this i have learned that if you put the time and effort into obtaining lucidity while you dream, you will have a weapon to use to fight off these bad experiences you speak of when you fall asleep. what i mean is, if you are conscious that you're dreaming you will eventually come to learn that all of this panic and fear that your dreams manifest can be controlled by being lucid. i have had a lucid dream before and in that dream was a villain, however i confronted him and emerged the victor.

hopefully you will be able to do the same. my suggestion is read some of the tutorials offered here and become familiar with reality checks. once you are able to become lucid regularly i believe you will be able to deal with your daunting dreams and also emerge a victor!

i hope this helps, as i'm a newbie myself