Hello everyone

I have just stumbled upon this website today and after completely reading through it, I remembered when I was younger (6,7 years old) I would have nightmares quite frequently. Most frequently the dream would be something like me standing in my family room in the dark. Down the hall I could see the door to my room open, with light coming from it and I could hear my family talking and laughing in it. I would try to move toward the door, because of the terrifying darkness around me, but I couldn’t move. Next either the room would seem to get smaller and crush me until the dream ended, or the furniture would start to move in to me. I had a longing to get to the light but never could. Eventually my other “good” dreams started randomly turning into these nightmares.

This probably doesn’t sound too out of the ordinary (or maybe it does, I really don’t know too much about this stuff) but I would have these dreams almost every night and being terrified (I started to avoid the family room all together) I decided I needed to do something about it. One time, when a dream started turning bad, and I saw myself in the all too familiar setting, I shut my eyes as hard as I could and counted to 10. I woke up. I would do that every time I had one of those nightmares and eventually stopped having (or remembering) them all together by the time I was about 8 years old.

Great story, I had a problem, I resolved it. But that’s not the end. If I still have your attention, please read on. I am going somewhere with this.

Now, 16 years old, I have not had a dream in a long time. Sure, I know that you have many dreams every night and just don’t remember them, but all that happens to me now is the occasional waking and thinking to myself, “oh I had a dream”. Back then the dreams seemed so real. I lived them. It’s hard to explain, but I’m sure someone knows what I’m talking about. Now if I have a dream it’s like a fleeting past memory. It’s as if I remember watching something happen. I no longer participate like I used to, and I really miss that. I don’t necessarily want to control my dreams, but I want to start being in them again. Being aware of them as they are happening. Not after they do

Now my questions.

First of all was I being lucid in my dreams when I was younger? I would be aware of the dream while I was dreaming, although not being able to really control anything except waking myself up.

Next, can I ever feel that again? If you don’t know what I’m talking about please don’t answer. I don’t want to be all powerful, with the world at my fingertips during my dreams but I want to be able to be in my dreams, not just remember them.

Could this experience (including the reoccurring dream) have been linked to some problem or insecurity with my life and I have gotten over it which is why it stopped and I stopped really living my dreams?

Is there anything anyone can tell me that I didn’t already read? Is my lack of real dreaming related to the extreme stress I undergo as a teenager?

Thank You SO much for your time and attention. If you can help me resolve this little desire of mine, I believe I will be a little more content.