I'm new and gagging for it.

[hybriddock]

After stalking these messageboards for the past week I've finally decided that I should just join them. It's only very recently that I've become aware of lucid dreaming, as the intensely popular phenomenon that it is, but upon hearing about it I was instantly reminded of my childhood dreams. I can think back to at least ten years ago (I'm 20 now) and still recall such vivid dreams in which I became lucid with very little effort. I think mostly it came about from having recurring nightmares which I would eventually clock onto as simply being dreams that could be easily manipulated. I can also remember wanting to end these frightening dreams on many occasions, which I eventually learned I could do by simply using my fingers to keep my eyes open in the dream and I would instantly wake up. Nowadays it is very infrequent that I attain lucidity in a dream, (I can recall having perhaps four lucids in the last six or so years) but they are always incredibly vivid and I remember them to be extremely enjoyable and liberating, to the point where I am aching desperately to develop the ability to have them on demand, or at least more frequently. Since I used to find it relatively easy to become lucid, I assume I still have the capacity to attain lucidity but I am just being held back by particular things. I know for a fact that I don't allow myself to have enough sleep at present, I'm a student and will sometimes limit myself to about four hours a night to just get things done, obviously this isn't going to help.. Anyway, I've been reality checking regularly, recording about two dreams a night and I managed to enter sleep paralysis twice whilst remaining conscious (which was pretty scary to say the least) but no sign of any self awareness within my dreams yet. Perhaps I'm trying TOO hard. Oh well, wish me luck, and hello by the way