Thread: Attitudes of females toward other females

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I'll first say that I'm a little buzzed. I'm not sure whether or not what I'm about to say is only in my mind. If it is, I risk simply expressing a general flaw about my own mental state which isn't a general issue at all.

The thoughts and attitudes of females toward other females have been on my mind a lot lately. Some of this may be in my mind, but some of it isn't. I have discussed this with a few other women, and they tend to agree. I suspect that a lot of this isn't at all known to males. It happens solely while females are interacting with other females. There are a few parts to this, and it isn't about anything specific, just a few observations.

A lot of females, when they even walk by another female, are like to judge her level of attractiveness, and determine which of the two is more attractive. I admit that I do this. I try not to, but it's a natural reaction upon seeing another female. Even when I see another female who I consider sexually attractive, and even get turned on by her a little, I will compare her to myself, so there will always be a little envy if I determine that she's more attractive than I am, even though I usually try to deny that such a thing happens. While walking by another woman, and there is eye contact, I often get the impression that she's doing the same thing.

A friend recently brought up to me the case of female gamers. I play L4D2 with many people, recently with a lot of other women. It is a sociable environment and is quite amazing, considering we're able to get 8-player drunken games composed entirely of women, when women are so rare on the game in general. I find that, with this group, I am able to be friends with the women there. There are no feelings of envy. They are just other people who are fun to be around.

What the friend brought up though, was that we who are in the group are rare females. She's gotten the impression, and I have too, that a lot of female gamers don't want other women in the game. They enjoy being the center of attention, and don't want any other 'competition'.

I've gotten similar impressions with other women, similar attitudes. It seems it's difficult for women to truly befriend other women without judgments and comparisons being made. It almost semes like, with a lot of women, there is a certain hostility. Friendliness is rare, and when it happens, it's often ingenuine.

I find that I often don't enjoy interacting with other women for this reason. It's almost like, the goal is to gain the attraction of men, so there is little point in interacting with other women, other than to appear friendly so that men can see and be attracted to us. That is the feeling I get, even though I'm certainly never consciously trying to attract men. It's very hard to explain.

I have recently been trying to rid myself of the natural inclination I have to judge other women and my aversion to being friends with them. I'm somewhere in the middle right now, trying to be as friendly to other women as I am to men, to not do what I've described throughout most of this post. It's much better, as we're all human and can interact with and relate to one another, no matter our gender.

I am completely aware of this lol. Most women don't even seem to like being around other girls. They are jealous and many women tend to lack compassion towards other girls. Yet many hang around each other anyways. It can make them very frustrated and stressed out. Yet they deny it. I would say more but you summed it up already pretty much. I see girls hanging around each other at school everyday yet I can tell they despise each other or would rather be with guys but many of them are to shy and nervous to just go and talk to and be around guys.