Willpower: Urge...too...strong.

[Oneironaught]

I honesty don't know what I expect anyone to say to me but, maybe some one has some words that might be useful to myself or others. The short of it is that I'm really trying to lose weight. I don't consider myself "fat" but, I've been at 185 pounds for the past five or more years now and I don't like it. I did a diet, where I simply eat less, about two or three months ago and I lost about 12 pounds. Then I got careless and gained it back again. I'd say that about 187 pounds or so is my peak weight ever. For the past month almost, I've been eating much smaller meals and skipping meals. For the past two weeks or so, I've had only very small lunches (for example, today I ate three bananas for lunch) and either a small dinner or completely skipping dinner (as I did last night). I never eat breakfast and I try to avoid junk foods. I weighed myself today and I'm at 177. I'd love to be in the low to mid 160's and stay there. I've always considered myself to have extremely strong will. Willpower has always been one of my strongest attributes, in every field: fidelity, drugs, etc... When I choose to do or not to do something, I'm rock solid about my resolve. I value my self-respect above all else and I always honor my word. My problem here is that I'm hungry: always. When I eat "right" I'm fine but, as I try to scale back on my caloric intake, I'm in a constant battle with the grumble in my gut. I'm so tempted to chow down on some pizza or something but I have to fight the urge. I don't know if there's anything I want to be told or if I'm just venting to solidify the intent of my journey. Sorry if reading this has been a waste of your time.

[Mes Tarrant]

Heya. Well firstly breakfast is the most important meal of the day and should never ever ever be skipped. People tend to gain weight, not lose it, when they skip breakfast. It's a fact! Secondly, I don't think eating very little is a good idea for the long term because you can only torture yourself with that for so long, ya know? You can have big portions, but here's the thing, they have to be healthy. A big portion of pizza won't do you any good. If you eat healthy, you'll be comfortably full, and you'll have plenty of energy too. A lot of people eat when they're idle just because there's nothing else to do. I have some suggestions for that but it doesn't sound like you do that... What sort of beverages do you drink? Exercise is also important, not just for losing weight, but to keep your spirits up and release stress in a healthy way. Umm.. I'm going to go now.

[Never]

First of all, I have always been thin no matter what, so I am no expert on weight loss, but I think I can help you out in a different way. Probably the best thing you could possibly learn here is that "willpower" as it is often used, is a myth. People fail at losing weight, quitting smoking, etc, etc because they have the ridiculous (yet understandable) notion that they can somehow assert will over the workings of the subconscious mind and just deny feelings. It is utterly impossible. You will notice that for those who succeed at what they do and keep it that way, it is often not really even a struggle for them (not that it's easy, mind you). This is because they are not suppressing the desire to eat or smoke or whatever. When you make the decision for example to quit drinking soda, first you should know how the craving system works. You are sitting in front of the TV which is usually when you drink sodas, because of this, the neurons in your head are associating TV with soda. Suddenly the image of a soda comes up and you feel the desire for one. What you should not do at this point is tell yourself that you don't want soda or try to think of something else. What you should do is realize the brain function that caused this and just watch it. Feel yourself craving the thing and examine it as though you were a scientist, curious as to how badly it can hurt you physically. The desire will evaporate before your mind's eye. I should add here that the reason you believe willpower has been working for you in other endeavors is because in those cases, you believe in yourself; you KNOW without a doubt that you can do it....do you see the similarity with the awarenes method? You are showing yourself how weak and stupid the cravings really are. Keep in mind that for every activity you usually would drink soda during, it will trigger a desire for one. Also know that it only takes once each time to reprogram your mind to not associate these things anymore. For particularly strong desires (such as for a person quitting cigarettes), solid awareness of one's breath and nothing else will help as the craving fades away in no more than 3 minutes absolute maximum (or is it five?) When you really see how simple it all is, you will laugh at these sudden and brief desires for something you are now sure you do not need nor want. Remember that a craving is a very brief desire that only lasts a few minutes at the most. If you hold on for long enough, they will cease to be a problem as you watch with awareness each occurence. You will be rid of them forever. On the subject of diet I know much, but only about health, not weight. I suggest though that you immediately cease all ingestion of trans fats, whether it helps with weight or not, and drink water, not soda. Remember that you do not have to muscle your mind to obey, you simply have to understand it, and it will help you rather than hinder you. Do not think of it as the enemy....ever. Hope this helped somewhat.

[Oneironaught]

Heya. Well firstly breakfast is the most important meal of the day and should never ever ever be skipped. People tend to gain weight, not lose it, when they skip breakfast. It's a fact! Thanks for the reply. I usually eat lunch at 10:30 - 11 o'clock or so on weekdays. So that's my "breakfast". Secondly, I don't think eating very little is a good idea for the long term because you can only torture yourself with that for so long, ya know? You can have big portions, but here's the thing, they have to be healthy. A big portion of pizza won't do you any good. If you eat healthy, you'll be comfortably full, and you'll have plenty of energy too. I'm trying to change my eating habits towards more vegetables and less crap, like fried foods and cheesy stuff. Though, I love cheesy stuff. A lot of people eat when they're idle just because there's nothing else to do. I have some suggestions for that but it doesn't sound like you do that... I was like that with junk foods many years ago but, I rarely eat that kind of stuff anymore. I pretty much gave up junk food 5 or 6 years ago. That doesn't mean I completely abstain though. But I try really hard. What sort of beverages do you drink? Uh, oh. I see where this is going. I drink a lot of soda, mostly Dr.Pepper. Used to be Coca-Cola. I drink maybe 1-3 beers a week. Usually one or none. About 10 years ago, I was a beer brewer and drinker of many a brew but I pretty much cut that out. I drink very little alcohol now. I also love orange juice and sweet tea, but un-sweetened is fine with me too. Exercise is also important, not just for losing weight, but to keep your spirits up and release stress in a healthy way. You're right. I don't get nearly enough exercise these days. 10 years ago was a different story but, today? Nope. I see you said in a different thread that you like to walk a lot. Perhaps we can walk together sometime?

[Oneironaught]

Remember that you do not have to muscle your mind to obey, you simply have to understand it, and it will help you rather than hinder you. Do not think of it as the enemy....ever. Hope this helped somewhat. Thanks. I guess I'll have to increase the juice factor.

[.:Rob:.]

I don't want to sound like I'm lazy (even if I am :p, what I'm about to suggest doesn't necessarily make you lazy), there are loads of different bodybuilding supplements that can help you. Fat burners, testosterone boosters, stuff to increase you metabolism. They could help you a lot - even if they are pretty expensive. You don't need all that much willpower to swallow 3 or 4 tablets a day. I saw your pics in the "post pics of youself w/o discussion thread" and you said you workout. Maybe you could work 15 minutes of HIIT cardio into your workout routine?

[Mes Tarrant]

Yeah, soda does terrible things, really. To your teeth, too! I drank a lot of soda when I was in high school (most kids did), then I got to college and stopped and lost like 20 lbs. I was slightly chubby in high school, and now it's the greatest thing ever, to be a "normal" girl, ya know? (Although I end up spending a lot at the mall because everything looks good, HEH.) I'm always up for a long walk! It's getting really hot here though so I have to wait till later in the evening. *shakes fist at weather* Anyhooooooo... do you cook? Eating healthy is not about getting rid of something tasty and replacing it with carrots or something. No one can keep that up and be happy. Eating healthy is about cooking something delicious but not drowning it in oil, etc etc.

[Never]

.....lest it be extra virgin olive oil, which is quite expensive. Still, I would use it rather than butter and especially margarine.

[Oneironaught]

I don't want to sound like I'm lazy (even if I am :p, what I'm about to suggest doesn't necessarily make you lazy), there are loads of different bodybuilding supplements that can help you. Fat burners, testosterone boosters, stuff to increase you metabolism. They could help you a lot - even if they are pretty expensive. You don't need all that much willpower to swallow 3 or 4 tablets a day. Nope, not me. That crap is absolutely out of the question. Anyhooooooo... do you cook? Eating healthy is not about getting rid of something tasty and replacing it with carrots or something. No one can keep that up and be happy. Eating healthy is about cooking something delicious but not drowning it in oil, etc etc. I do cook, yes. I'm actually decent at it. I don't cook as often as I should but, my roommate (I hate that word; we don't share a room) cooks several nights a week. He's such a nice guy. I generally eat "fairly" healthy dinners, just in too large a portion. I have been cooking on the grill a few times a week though. But, I almost never eat fast food crap. For example, I've had probably 5 fast food burgers in the past... 6 years maybe? Well, I have a Steak 'n' Shake patty melt (damn those are good) a few times a year. I actually got a Wendys cheeseburger kid's meal a few nights ago (only because I'm a sucker for dumb video game-themed toys and they have the Wii toys right now). I took one bite of the burger and threw it away. I couldn't eat it. It tasted like crap. So that dinner consisted of a teeny tiny soda and a small order of fries. Pitiful. EDIT: I was just handed a peach

[Elwood]

im in the process of losing weight and im just doing 200 crunches a day, seems to be working

[vee]

After graduating from High School I weighed a lot for my height which was five foot one. I got a job at restaurant as a car hop. I didn't have a car. So I had to walk to work, walk while I was at work, and walk home. The route to work was about two miles distance. When I got home I was so tired I couldn't even eat. No breakfast. For lunch I had a bag of cheese puffs, and a coke. I ate supper at the diner during my break. A cheeseburger, french fries and a coke and for desert strawberry pie with whipped cream. It turned out I dropped down to 115 in two weeks. I didn't even know that it had happened it was so fast. I had to start pinning my mini skirts tighter. This was a long time ago. Eat Less and excersise a lot. Good Luck. Budhabee

[Moonbeam]

Lift weights. Building muscle is the best way to change your body. Walking is good too. Eat more protein and non-starchy vegetables (green ones) and less fruit (don't eat 3 bananas for lunch!). One or two fruits a day is OK, but no more. Berries are best, also kiwi fruit. Cut out all sweets, including soda, except for dark chocolate if you have to. Soda is poison. Eat a moderate amount of good fats, including nuts, but be careful, they have a lot of calories. Try not to eat out, espeically at fast food. If you are really serious, you should probably count calories, and make sure you get enough protein. A low carb diet is best for losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time. You can't have too much muscle. Even if you are a little chubby, big muscles go a long way to improving health and appearance (IMO).` P.S. If you find it really hard to resist sweets, maybe you could make a bet with someone. Me and my Bf do this all the time; I usually end up losing but it really keeps it down to a minimum. Find someone else who wants to do it with you. I'll bet with you if you want; I ate 7 peanut butter cookies day before yesterday, but I started over again yesterday. My BF has gone all this year without sweets (he's a pizza binger) so I can't compete with him anymore. It's all on your honor, of course, and for the glory. Let me know if you think it would help.

[Oneironaut Zero]

Four words: Eat Less, more often. What you want to do is quicken your metabolism. Your body gets used to eating three - or in our cases, two - meals a day. (seeing as how I usually skip breakfast, too) You want your metabolism to begin getting used to handling and processing more, periodic, food intake, per day. Still watch the calories, watch the fat and carbs, watch the sodium and eat high on the proteins but, if you can manage it, take your 3 (or 2) normal meals a day and change them to 5 or so small meals a day. As far as exercise, get at least 2-3 days of good 15-30 mins (at least) of cardio workouts a week and, as Moonbeam said, weight training is a great way to burn off the fat, turning it into muscle. Growing up, I was always a slightly heavy-set kid. I fluctuated between 210 and 220lbs all through middle-school and high-school and none of it was muscle. I happened to get serious about losing weight and, at the same time, got much more interested in gaining muscle. Since then, (mostly through cardio) I've gotten down to 180lbs and (through the weight training) gotten back up to 215lbs, but that's because of the visible muscle I've built, since I started weight training. Sodas have to go. Believe me, not too many people have had a bigger soda fetish than me, at one point in time, but all it takes is the drive to stop it long enough to start working out and seeing results. I used to live on junk food. Seriously. But after you are able to put them aside long enough to start seeing results, you are also showing your body that it doesn't "need" these fixes that it's been developed to desire (basically, junk). If you're anything like me, before too long, you'll find yourself effortlessly turning down sodas and other junk, even when it's right in front of you. Your cravings change, and keeping the weight off becomes much much easier.

[Mes Tarrant]

I agree about the soda thing! After I went cold turkey on it, I haven't been able to drink it in excess... ever again. I just don't like it like I used to.

[Oneironaught]

I'll bet with you if you want; I ate 7 peanut butter cookies day before yesterday, but I started over again yesterday. ...It's all on your honor, of course, and for the glory. Let me know if you think it would help. Deal! Let the staring contest begin. *stares down Moonbeam with a cold, steely look that could melt glass* Thanks, also, to everyone else. Oneironaut and Mes (and others) the soda thing is what I have to work at. But I follow what you're telling me. I'll start weening myself.

[Moonbeam]

Deal! Let the staring contest begin. *stares down Moonbeam with a cold, steely look that could melt glass* OK, you just decide what you want your bet to be: you could make it no soda. Mine is easy to pick, but hard to do: no sweets. Now, after you decide what you want your side of the bet to be, if you break it you have to post in here and let people see. I'll do the same. I'm regretting it already...but I do have an eating disorder with all kinds of sweets, so the threat of public humiliation will help me. We can make it last as long as you want; maybe for the rest of this year? If anybody else wants to do it, they can too. Just say what you don't want to eat, and then you have to post here if you do eat it, and suffer the consequences. (Exception: Lucid Dream eating! This is good because it helps me get lucid. We could post any lucid experiences too.) If this is too weird, let me know.

[Oneironaught]

OK, you just decide what you want your bet to be: you could make it no soda. Mine is easy to pick, but hard to do: no sweets. Oh, well I thought we were doing sweets so that's what I'm going with. Candy, chips, any kind of snack food. Wait, does trail mix count? Anyway, I haven't had any junk food for almost a week now. I had two small coffee cake things in the week before that. I have already started the ween from sodas but I don't think I want to give them up completely, just cut way back. I've been drinking orange juice all day. I had a medium-sized apple and a large tomato for lunch (bought two kiwi fruits, too, but haven't eaten them yet) and 6 tiny fried chicken wing pieces for dinner. I'm actually not feeling too starved so I'll be alright. For awhile at least. I actually turned down some candy crap that a friend offered me today. It sure looked good though. So sweets it is. For a month? Starting today. On your mark, get set, GO! If this is too weird, let me know. Too weird? Or not weird enough?

[Moonbeam]

OK! Go! We'll do sweets AND chips, good idea. I don't think trail mix counts, if it is dried fruit and nuts. (I'd still go easy on that tho, LOTS of calories.) This is going to be hard for me, because I have a trip coming up and that is a traditional bad eating time, so I'm glad to have the extra inspiration. Pinkies are pulled and the bet is on! Anybody else?

[Twoshadows]

Hey Oneironaught and Moonbeam-- I need to be in on this one too. For the last month I have kind of been lax and have gone from being raw vegan back to just vegan. I was starting to eat less raw fruits and veggies and eating some processed foods. And I have noticed my energy level has dropped and I don't feel as well. So I'd like to join in this little support group. And my goal is to eat RAW vegan. I have a very few things on my "Okay List" that am letting myself eat that are not raw vegan. But my goal is to stick to that list. I actually started being strict again on Monday and so far have done great. Good luck you guys. We'll all do great!! Edit: And by the way Moonbeam, I'm on vacation right now. Actually I'm at my mom's at this very moment--but I am heading out tomorrow and will be gone for a couple more days. I have an ice chest that I have fruits and carrots and salad stuff, etc. And I also have my raw nuts. So I'm palnning to stick with it even though I will be surrounded by difficult situations.

[Mes Tarrant]

Twoshadows, why are you vegan?? Seems intense.

[Twoshadows]

Twoshadows, why are you vegan?? Seems intense. I have a sister that is going through cancer for the second time, and it is looking pretty bad. She's the one I'm traveling to see this weekend. Anyway, from my research I feel that the raw vegan diet is the best for preventing cancer and other diseases. I just really don't want to get cancer. Eating this way makes me feel like I have some control over it.

[Oneironaught]

You're welcome to join us anytime, TS I couldn't handle the vegan diet but, if it works for you then you have my best wishes. As always.

[Moonbeam]

And by the way Moonbeam, I'm on vacation right now. Actually I'm at my mom's at this very moment--but I am heading out tomorrow and will be gone for a couple more days. I have an ice chest that I have fruits and carrots and salad stuff, etc. And I also have my raw nuts. So I'm palnning to stick with it even though I will be surrounded by difficult situations. Yay TS is with us! You can do it; you did for a long time before and I remember you saying how good it made you feel. You inspired me then and I know what you are doing is much harder than what I am doing, so you will inspire me now. I will think of both you and Gh when I am tempted to binge on cookies or something, and knowing that I will have to post my failure may be enough to keep me from doing it. (Als, knowing that you consider slipping into a mere vegan diet, rather than raw vegan, as failing, makes my efforts to avoid eating a whole cheesecake seem a little silly. I need that reality check. Which I will also do if I find myself eating sweets, because it will be a dream!) Have a good vacation!

[Oneironaught]

It's been what, two days? I accidentally failed the challenge. It's Father's Day so I took my Dad out to eat. He wanted to go to the Chinese buffet, fine. I was such as good boy; I ate one plate of mostly vegetable dishes. I didn't add any extra crap, like hot oil. I ordered UN-sweetened tea when I order sweet almost every "normal" time. I had brussel sprouts, broccoli, mixed vegetables, rice, a small portion of a shrimp dish and chicken dish. Topped it off with 5 small pork ribs. That's the largest daily intake I've had in three weeks. Then the bill comes, along with fortune cookies. It's force of habit: I grab the fortune cookie, tear off the plastic, break it in half, stick half in my mouth and read the paper inside. Yeah, I put half in my mouth, chewed on it then suddenly realized: "Oh sh!t. I just lost." I quickly put the other half down and didn't eat it. Spoiler for Break cookie to reveal my fortune.: Confucius say: YOU SUCK! So, even though it was completely un-intentional and only a small failure, I've failed none the less. Thus: Oneironaught: -1 (June 17, '07) New Alpha objective = July 17, '07 Beta objective = Longer

[arby]

I'm not sure if any body's mentioned it but when you feel hungry, its often that you're actually thirsty. When you feel hungry, try drinking some water instead. Most people are normally dehydrated. Drinking water regularly makes a big difference 0.o