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    1. #1
      Member chief81's Avatar
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      random simpsons' quote thread

      "oh lisa, you and your stories; 'bart is a vampire', 'beer kills brain cells'.
      now let's go back to that... building... thingy... where our beds and tv... is."
      -homer simpson
      "If you can read this sigline then you are FAR too sober!!!!"

    2. #2
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      Re: random simpsons' quote thread

      Originally posted by chief81
      \"oh lisa, you and your stories; 'bart is a vampire', 'beer kills brain cells'.
      now let's go back to that... building... thingy... where our beds and tv... is.\"
      -homer simpson
      "pure west"

    3. #3
      Member Life's Avatar
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      me fail english? that's unpossible

    4. #4
      Member chief81's Avatar
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      Ralph: [points at rock] that's where i saw the leprechaun.

      Bart: riiiiight! a leprechaun....

      Ralph: he told me to burn things!

      Bart: uh huh...
      "If you can read this sigline then you are FAR too sober!!!!"

    5. #5
      Member Scwigglie's Avatar
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      "Jesus works well too. He's like 6 leprechauns!"

      "Yeah, but really hard to catch. Go with the leprechaun."


      Quin custodiet custodes ipsos?

    6. #6
      Member nightowl's Avatar
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      Homer: I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T...I mean S-M-A-R-T.

      Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

      Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

      Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
      Lisa: No.
      Homer: Ham?
      Lisa: No.
      Homer: Pork chops?
      Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
      Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

      Homer: Okay, I'm never going to win Father Of The Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world to have kids... wait, let me rephrase that. I love my kids. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.
      Judge: And Margaret?
      Homer: Who? Lady, you must have the wrong file.
      Marge: She's talking about Maggie.
      Homer: Oh, Maggie. I've got nothing against Maggie.

      Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

      Curiosity killed the cat but at least it didnt die an ignorant bastard

    7. #7
      Member chief81's Avatar
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      (nelson, jimbo and kearny are gathered behind the schoolyard bleachers from which marting is suspended upside down)

      NELSON: [throws tomato at martin] why are you throwing tomatoes at yourself, huh? [throws another tomato] why are you throwing tomatoes at yourself?

      MARTIN: your very question is faulty.

      NELSON: you're faulty! [throws another tomato]
      "If you can read this sigline then you are FAR too sober!!!!"

    8. #8
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      Originally posted by nightowl

      Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
      Lisa: No.
      Homer: Ham?
      Lisa: No.
      Homer: Pork chops?
      Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
      Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. *
      "don't ea-ea-ea-eat me lisa"

      "it's a little airborn... it's still good, it's still good!"

      "you look like you can use a hot beef injection!" ;p hahhahaha

    9. #9
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      who remember the episode w/santa's little helper had a twisted stomach, and kent brokman won the lotto? :) :) :)

      during the drawing when kent brokman realized he had the winning ticket...

      grandpa: "i knew you wouldn't win..."

      homer: "WHY DID YOU KEEP IT A SECRET!?!?!"

      homer (to bart): if you were 17 we would have been rich, but nnnooooo... you have to be 10...

    10. #10
      Member Life's Avatar
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      Originally posted by lurker
      who remember the episode w/santa's little helper had a twisted stomach, and kent brokman won the lotto? *

      during the drawing when kent brokman realized he had the winning ticket...

      grandpa: \"i knew you wouldn't win...\"

      homer: \"WHY DID YOU KEEP IT A SECRET!?!?!\"

      homer (to bart): *if you were 17 we would have been rich, but nnnooooo... you have to be 10...
      hahaha that part was so funny

    11. #11
      Member reverie's Avatar
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      Homer: If you want anything in life, you have to work for it yourself. Now be quiet, the lottery numbers are coming up.[/quote]
      :]

    12. #12
      Member chief81's Avatar
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      from the episode where the simposns went to england:
      (upon discovering a passage to escape from the tower of london)

      Homer: "whew, i'm glad i escaped before i went crazy...
      bye bye sparkly elves!"

      Elves: "goodbye homer!"





      here's a quote that i perhaps should use as my sigline:

      Duff Man: "Duff Man can never die!
      Only the actors who play him!"
      "If you can read this sigline then you are FAR too sober!!!!"

    13. #13
      Member Umbrasquall's Avatar
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      "Missionary? But I don't even believe in Jebus!"

      "Look at all that pink and purple... our country is so gay..."

    14. #14
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      "I think I'll order a tab.... No time for that now, the computer's starting!" -Homer

      "Extended warranty, how can I go wrong?!" -Homer

      Rich Guy- "Hey you, the greasy bald fat man!"
      Homer- "*Gasp* You know everything about me!"

      "I heard that guy's ass has his own congress" -Jimbo

      "There is no emoticon, for what I'm feeling!" -Computer guy

    15. #15
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      Bart: So I says to Mable, I says...

      Bart: Uh dad. Mom's in the way.
      Homer: Push her down son.
      An idea is something you haven't fully considered.
      A belief is merely a repetitive thought.
      A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking.

    16. #16
      Member KalmaH's Avatar
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      Originally posted by reverie
      Homer: If you want anything in life, you have to work for it yourself. Now be quiet, the lottery numbers are coming up.


      I think that was my sig for a while.
      Early Morning Moment,
      A Glimpse of Joy,
      But soon it's Over, and I return to Dust...

    17. #17
      Member Umbrasquall's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Death-Wuad
      \"I think I'll order a tab.... No time for that now, the computer's starting!\" -Homer
      "Hmm 'PLEASE HIT ANY KEY TO CONTINUE'"

      Pause.

      "'Any' key? Where's the 'any' key?"

    18. #18
      Member chief81's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Squall

      \"Hmm 'PLEASE HIT ANY KEY TO CONTINUE'\"

      Pause.

      \"'Any' key? Where's the 'any' key?\"
      from that same episode:

      DR. NICK: "brush your teeth with milkshakes, and instead of chewing gum, chuw bacon."





      [homer reaches for play-dough donut made by maggie]

      BART: "dad, it says non-toxic."

      HOMER: [licking fingers after already consuming it] well that's a plus.
      "If you can read this sigline then you are FAR too sober!!!!"

    19. #19
      Member chief81's Avatar
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      this is one of my favourite all-time scenes from ANY episode:

      (otto walks into the DMV)

      PATTY: "hi, my name is patty. when you do good, i use the green pen. when you do bad, i use the red pen. any questions?"

      OTTO: "yeah, one. have you always been a chick? i mean, you were born a man, right?
      it's okay. you can tell me. i'm open minded."

      PATTY: [drops green pen] "i won't be needing this!!!!"





      another great quote from this episode:

      (bart is playing the guitar at the bus stop)

      NELSON: "hey simpson, what are you trying to play?"

      BART: "polly-wolly doole."

      NELSON: "well it sounds polly-wolly crappy! HAW HAW! BURN!"
      "If you can read this sigline then you are FAR too sober!!!!"

    20. #20
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      RALPH: I think I bent my Wookie...

    21. #21
      Member Joseph_Stalin's Avatar
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      Hey, who remembers the Planet of the Apes musical with Troy Maclure? That was just halirious!

      I forgot the rest of this one, but Homer was like "Secrets and Lies! SECRETS AND LIES!"

      "In the end, the lord shalth return in full regulation Soviet Uniform, hailing Lenin as thy true messiah." -Siberian Revealations

    22. #22
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      Homer: Oh, and how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?
      An idea is something you haven't fully considered.
      A belief is merely a repetitive thought.
      A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking.

    23. #23
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      Bart: whadda ya mean the banks out of money?
      (crowd begins yelling in anger)
      Bank Teller: No no no, we don't have your money...its in Bill's house, and Fred's house-
      Moe: Eh, what tha hell ya doin wit my money in ya house Bill???
      (moe punches a random guy in the face)

    24. #24
      Member Joseph_Stalin's Avatar
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      Oh yeah, now I remember the episode with Bart and the mob. At the end they made a TV special out of it :

      Gunshot: The Bart Simpson Story...


      Bart: Alright skinner, tell me where the money is!
      Principal Skinner: Never! *spits in Bart's face*
      Bart: A wise guy, eh?
      Fat Tony: Don't do it Bart!
      Bart: *slaps and shoots gun at skinner*
      _________________

      real Bart: Cool!
      Homer: When do we get the money for this thing?
      Marge: The studio said they changed the story enough not to have to pay us.
      Homer: *moans* (or he say's d'oh, I can't really remember)

      "In the end, the lord shalth return in full regulation Soviet Uniform, hailing Lenin as thy true messiah." -Siberian Revealations

    25. #25
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      "The doll is cursed."
      "That's bad."
      "But the doll comes with a free frogurt."
      "That's good."
      "But the frogurt is also cursed."
      "That's bad."
      "The frogurt comes with a free topping."
      "That's good."
      "But the topping contains Sodium Benzoate."
      "..."
      "That's bad."
      "Can I go now?"
      An idea is something you haven't fully considered.
      A belief is merely a repetitive thought.
      A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking.

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