Thread: Ugh, family matters. (need help)

Masturbation helps....not that I know. <_< Or talk to your doctor, she probably has some mental illness which can be helped, maybe.

:\ man, I need a more serious answer, and if that was serious...just don't post
And yea, she's probably super bipolar.

Well, try experimenting with her. *cough* Not like that. Like, if you plan on going out somewhere, tell her beforehand, and if she gets pissy, then roll with the punches and say you won't go. If it doesn't help, then this is pretty much beyond your power, but if it does, then you know there are ways to please her (;D).

Would it be possible to record her when she's having an emotional outburst, and then play it to her later during a more calm discussion between you two? That could also turn out rather badly though, so if you have any doubts about it working then you probably shouldn't do it.

I could try recording her with my cell phone that isn't in service anymore. that would be dangerous o.o

Dorpis, I'll try that.

Hmm... This is a very tricky situation, and I'm afraid any advice I give will be stilted by my own lack of knowledge and experience.

Though, my first impulse is to tell you not to kill yourself. Second, I think you should find an outlet for this pain. For me, meditation seems to be a really good way to calm my mind and focus on what's important. Another important thing is to remember to work hard at school while you still can. If you get good enough grades then you can get a scholarship and then you can get the hell out of there when you're 18. I know it sounds like a hell of a long time, but it will go by faster than you think.

I have to say, I like Catbus' idea. I wonder if you could get a tape recorder or something; turn it on, put it in your pocket, and then tell her you're going somewhere. Except, instead of showing your mom, show your dad. Though, something tells me that he already has seen your mom like this.

Oh, and kudos; my dad is also a fire fighter who knows all the cops. I gotta say, back when I was roaming the streets, high off my ass, I would always get jumpy when I saw a cop.

Originally Posted by CanceledCzech

Another important thing is to remember to work hard at school while you still can. If you get good enough grades then you can get a scholarship and then you can get the hell out of there when you're 18.

It rarely works out that way, I'm sad to say. Almost no one who has the immediate resolve to move out at 18 is prepared for it in any way, shape, or form. My mom can very much be like this at times, but I accept her outbursts and move on with life because I'm rather damn grateful that she allows me to still live here rent-free as I work and snail my way through college.

That, and unlike Creation X's other family members, my family members know what my mom can be like. It's always easier when you have people to share the pain with.

But I digress. As far as solutions go, I suggest just rolling along with whatever your mother says. You won't want to hear this, but you are still her responsibility and therefore are still subject to whatever silly rules she throws at you. You should respect her decisions, even if they are irrational and even if she is being a total bitch about it. You may think that arguing and talking back to women is justified when you know you're in the right - which it is, in a man's eyes - but not with them. A lot of them simply can't handle defiance from a man, and so all it does is spark these destructive outbursts.

I suggest you simply tell her what you want to do in advance, and if she denies you of something, then find something else to do...and do whatever you can to put her in a good mood (ask her to do something with you that you both enjoy, do chores without being asked, etc.) As time goes on, she'll realize you're a good kid for arguing less and less with her, and will eventually give you some leeway. Patience is more rewarding than impatience, my young friend...as is having a good relationship with your parents. Don't be like the millions of other teens who all hate their parents just because their overblown sense of rebellion makes them think "it's cool to hate your parents".

Originally Posted by Lëzen

It rarely works out that way, I'm sad to say. Almost no one who has the immediate resolve to move out at 18 is prepared for it in any way, shape, or form.

What? Nah, man, I mean college. Creation X is in Virginia, right? Plenty of 18-year-olds go off to college every year.

It's like Abra's reply to Creation in the DV confessions. "Remember, college=exit"

much agreed with CanceledCzech.
(oh I get it! Canceled check lol.)

Anyway, I've talked it over with my parents, and my mother is going to try to "tone it down."

My dad is aware of my mother being crazy, but he just saves his own ass and always agrees with her >_>

thanks for the help everybody.

Originally Posted by Creation X

My dad is aware of my mother being crazy, but he just saves his own ass and always agrees with her >_>

Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say. Most of the time the sane parent usually agrees with the crazy parent.

This sounds a lot like what I grew up with in my teen years. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. If she's like my mother you will never get fair treatment and you'll be accosted no matter how rational you are. You may be abused even more for being rational and trying to work things out. I found the only way to get through it was to pacify her and just give her what she wanted. It's like dealing with a child except you can't tell them what to do.

You could call the cops or get her institutionalized if she's really crazy but that's probably not what you want. I wish I had written down more of the crazy things my mother did and said. I'm 26 now and it's all a blur because it happened every day.

My suggestion is write out what's happening and what you're feeling. You can ask to see a therapist and talk it over with them. You can't fix your mom but you can come to terms with your own feelings about living with her if you have a trained professional to talk to.

I'd also start making plans to leave home as soon as you're old enough. You probably don't want to be dependent on a person like that if you can help it.

i reckon its menopause

Look, I dont want to sound unsympathetic, but are you SURE this isn't slightly exaggerated? If not, I think what you need to do is ask you rmom why she gets so mad at you easily. Just have her sit down, and ask. It sounds like she is somewhat bitter.

Your dad is a freman? DOnt they have long shifts? SHe might have some resentment towards that, and she blows her anger out on you. It's hard, but my Mom has done similar things in the past. Not to that magnitude, but not being able to speak to anybody about her problems can cause her to flame up with apprantely no reason.

sorry but I found this to be funny. My advise to you is do your best to work with her. You don't want to hate your mother. Maybe try to talk to her when she is not being moody. If it is not possible, don't let her boss you around. Go talk to your friends anyway. On your profile you said you were 15, at that age she really shouldn't be telling you, that you can't leave the house.

thanks for all the response guys. My mother is a bit better now after we talked, but now after school (10th grade) she makes me come home and I can't go anywhere. I got lucky today because she works two jobs, and I actually snuck out in the middle of the day to go see my friends.

her rule
Monday - Thursday : COME HOME, DO HOMEWORK, DO NOTHING.

Originally Posted by Creation X

thanks for all the response guys. My mother is a bit better now after we talked, but now after school (10th grade) she makes me come home and I can't go anywhere. I got lucky today because she works two jobs, and I actually snuck out in the middle of the day to go see my friends.

her rule
Monday - Thursday : COME HOME, DO HOMEWORK, DO NOTHING.

Hmm. On the one hand I understand her trying to discipline you with a schedule, but I think that particular one is just... not realistic, especially for a normal 15 year old guy.

How about writing out a list of reasons why you might disagree with being restricted to the house on those days? And then having her (try to) go through each point and explain what she's thinking?





Goddamn. I know that it's hard to be a really good parent... but I'm just terrified of one day being so unreasonable with my kids.

Originally Posted by Creation X

thanks for all the response guys. My mother is a bit better now after we talked, but now after school (10th grade) she makes me come home and I can't go anywhere. I got lucky today because she works two jobs, and I actually snuck out in the middle of the day to go see my friends.

her rule
Monday - Thursday : COME HOME, DO HOMEWORK, DO NOTHING.

Try co-operating with it, and then see if she won't maybe change the rules later. You really need to put heart and work into this if you want it to last.