Day 2
I took one flattened teaspoon of Ajos Sacha before going to bed. It was brewed in a half of cup of water, and sweetened with honey. This time, it tasted pleasant for once.
I also took 5mg of Zolpidem (Ambien) to fall asleep because I went to sleep at 4AM, and feeling very dejected and keyed up about a horrible day I had. I woke up around 6:30 to go to the restroom, having to piss like a race horse, and couldn't recall any dreams I had in the first half of the night. Zolpidem's half-life is only approximately 2.6 hours, so I know it had no influence on what happened next, because it was eliminated from my bloodstream by them.
I then woke up at 10:30 and remembered a very haunting dream. I'm not sure it was because it was more vivid, or because it was extremely evocative and poignant. I don't remember the whole dream, but I do remember the jist of it and especially what happens at the end.
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The Dream
I am attending a prestigious Ivy-League university, and am surrounded by close friends of mine, many from high school. We are in the vegetable/fruit section of a supermarket. It is final exam time, and I still have a major exam looming over my head that will occur on the 29th. I remember I keep arguing with my friends over things that I can't remember (perhaps that symbolizes that they are insignificant). I remember pushing one friend after a heated argument, and he falls down the stairs and dies.
Finally, I look at my watch one day and realize its the 29th and I haven't studied at all. I start panicking and going into denial, that I'm not remembering correctly, that hopefully its after the 29th. However, I'm stuck in a supermarket and can't find out. It's noon and I'm worried I missed the morning exam, or perhaps its an afternoon exam at 3PM. In either case, I'm screwed.
I tell one of my female friends about the situation, and she casually remarks that she has a copy of the finals schedule of my school. I am perplexed as to how she has this, since she does not attend my university, but I am grateful nonetheless. I don't know what happens, and I don't recall ever getting it from her.
I do remember coming to the realization that it is on the 29th, and that I am, in fact, majorly screwed. The scenarios start racing through my mind: can I BS my way through the exam? No way, the last exam was very specific and you had to have done the readings... Damn, I'm so screwed. I start thinking about having a panic attack and getting a doctor's note so that I don't have to take the exam. No matter what I think of, there's no getting out of this one.
I then remember that things with my friends had gotten to a boiling point. I think the accidental death of one of my friends down the staircase has caused irreparable harm. I go back to the Supermarket and I see people normally shopping, but none of my friends. I look around everywhere and I can't find them.
I drop to the ground and see watermelons hidden under displays and counters. They all have carrots stuck in the end of them, and pointing in the same direction like Narwhals. I follow the direction that they are pointing in, and come across a door. I open the handle and see a couple of old ladies sitting there as usual. But tape to the desk is my college transcript, along with ribbons and ticker-tape. The Ivy-League transcript has straight A's, and in red marker, my friends wrote: "the greatest accomplishment in 4 years at XX University."
The irony of the statement hits me like a ton of bricks. I have succeeded in school, and scarified all of my friendships as a result. I am devastated and fall to the ground on my back with a resounding thump as the little old ladies watch in disbelief. The dream ends.
I wake up and immediately recall the dream, because it was so emotionally evocative. I wonder if this was a way of my subconscious telling me that I need to turn my life around and change my priorities. I have been struggling for some time now, and perhaps the dreams of this morning, and the Perseid meteor shower that is happening tonight, are signs that the winds of change are finally beginning to blow for me...
Stay tuned.
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