• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    Results 1 to 15 of 15
    1. #1
      Ex-Redhat
      Join Date
      Feb 2008
      Gender
      Posts
      2,596
      Likes
      956
      DJ Entries
      34

      Introduction 2.0

      Placeholder for repost of the Intro.

      Quote Originally Posted by ThreeLetterSyndrom View Post
      I don't mind at all, those are some great ideas. Just let me get started on them
      However, I do think that the reader needs to be told about the acronyms beforehand. It's an important part of the community and helps the dreamer to get started quickly.
      Thanks for the compliments, I appreciate it.

      EDIT: It automatically republishes when I edit it. As of now, I've made some small changes. Maybe we should explain the really scientific concept of dreaming more?
      http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddm75ss6_29d5r3n7d4
      I very much like this so far. Please let me know if you get permission to use that comic, too.


      If there are more comments, questions, additions to this, please post them here.
      Last edited by Naiya; 07-10-2009 at 09:11 PM.

    2. #2
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points Referrer Bronze Veteran First Class
      adrift's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Hawaii
      Posts
      127
      Likes
      11
      i think it's a great start. The opening is has got a solid feel to it so far. my concern is that the parts about dream recall and techniques come to early and should not be part of the intro.i feel that overviewing the lucid dream process should come in it's own chapter, perhaps after the intro and a few more introductory topics, before each part of the process is discussed in greater detail. to be sure, it's important to have that overview before the reader delves in to the in-depth material (so they know how the different topics fit into the process as a whole), but it doesn't fit in the intro because the mode of these paragraphs is different. You start out in an eye-opening mode, like your trying to get the reader to get STOKED, and excited and make them open their minds to the great possibilities of dreaming, but then in the following paragraphs (beginning with "first things first: dream recall") the reader is thrown into a manual or how-to mode too soon. the intro should be elaborated and not deviated from the original feel.

      edit: also, along the lines of elaborating on the discussion of the intro. we should brainstorm and come up with more ideas or things to say in the intro that tie into the feel established by the first paragraph. once we have alot of ideas, enough to fill a chapter. we should make a sub-outline (that being, an outline for this chapter or section only) or organize them into a cohesive narrative.

      *gasps for air* that was a mouthful
      Last edited by adrift; 07-11-2009 at 10:14 PM.

    3. #3
      Ehh..Well..Uhm...HUGS!
      Join Date
      Dec 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Netherlands
      Posts
      842
      Likes
      0
      Well then, anyone's got good ideas on how to get the reader STOKED, because I don't think it's a good idea to fill the introduction up with stories about how great everything is. As Shift already has said, it shouldn't be like EWOLD, which has this layer of self-growth clichés and stuff all over it.
      http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l199/ablativus/spidermansig2.png

    4. #4
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points Referrer Bronze Veteran First Class
      adrift's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Hawaii
      Posts
      127
      Likes
      11
      well i think it would be safe to move from elaborating on the dream inspiration opening to a secondary part describing what lucid dreams are or how they are able to make the first part possible,

    5. #5
      Ehh..Well..Uhm...HUGS!
      Join Date
      Dec 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Netherlands
      Posts
      842
      Likes
      0
      Does that mean that we should explain a little more about the nature of dreams? Give more examples on how dreams feel? More lucid examples?

      Just some ideas.

      Spoiler for Introduction, Version #3.1:


      You never put a comma before 'and'. The comma is used as a replacement for the word.
      This is the latest version, 3.1. My editings were too minor to make it #4.0. Please take this version and edit it.
      Last edited by ThreeLetterSyndrom; 07-13-2009 at 11:42 AM.
      http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l199/ablativus/spidermansig2.png

    6. #6
      ray
      ray is offline
      oh quam sancta... ray's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 2008
      Gender
      Location
      perched in the shadows
      Posts
      706
      Likes
      4
      Actually, that is only half correct. I'm not sure where in the introduction commas and the word 'and' were used incorrectly but if you don't separate the word 'and', in a list, the two objects before and after 'and' count as one object.
      adopted: illidan
      Wer-wolf alert
      The beatles r mine 4evers!!!
      broken link removed---click peez!
      "you fuzzy little man peach!"-Old Greg a.k.a. scaly little man fish

    7. #7
      Ehh..Well..Uhm...HUGS!
      Join Date
      Dec 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Netherlands
      Posts
      842
      Likes
      0
      Quote Originally Posted by ray View Post
      Actually, that is only half correct. I'm not sure where in the introduction commas and the word 'and' were used incorrectly but if you don't separate the word 'and', in a list, the two objects before and after 'and' count as one object.
      I have learned that that isn't right. Why would those things count as one object?
      What's your native language?
      http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l199/ablativus/spidermansig2.png

    8. #8
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points Referrer Bronze Veteran First Class
      adrift's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Hawaii
      Posts
      127
      Likes
      11
      "DILD, WILD, VILD, DEILD, EWOLD, WBTB and SP" is incorrect
      DILD, WILD, VILD, DEILD, EWOLD, WBTB, and SP is correct.

      this comes from my high school English teacher. as ray said, not putting the comma in between "WBTB" and "and SP" links them together as one object, leaving the sentence unfinished.
      Last edited by Jeff777; 07-14-2009 at 12:53 AM.

    9. #9
      Master of Logic Achievements:
      1 year registered 5000 Hall Points Made Friends on DV Referrer Bronze Veteran First Class
      Kromoh's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 2007
      Gender
      Location
      Some rocky planet with water
      Posts
      3,993
      Likes
      86
      Quote Originally Posted by adrift View Post
      "DILD, WILD, VILD, DEILD, EWOLD, WBTB and SP" is incorrect
      DILD, WILD, VILD, DEILD, EWOLD, WBTB, and SP is correct.

      this comes from my high school English teacher. as ray said, not putting the comma in between "WBTB" and "and SP" links them together as one object, leaving the sentence unfinished.
      It's not necessarily incorrect. Both are correct, but the second one avoids ambiguity (WBTB and SP being two terms or one term).

      At least that is what my post-graduate teacher taught me. You could check a grammar reference if the doubt persists.
      ~Kromoh

      Saying quantum physics explains cognitive processes is just like saying geology explains jurisprudence.

    10. #10
      Ehh..Well..Uhm...HUGS!
      Join Date
      Dec 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Netherlands
      Posts
      842
      Likes
      0
      Quote Originally Posted by Kromoh View Post
      It's not necessarily incorrect. Both are correct, but the second one avoids ambiguity (WBTB and SP being two terms or one term).

      At least that is what my post-graduate teacher taught me. You could check a grammar reference if the doubt persists.
      We'll just go with ", and" then, although I think it's clear as it is.
      http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l199/ablativus/spidermansig2.png

    11. #11
      !DIREKTOR! Adam's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 2007
      Gender
      Location
      Aquanina's closet
      Posts
      5,192
      Likes
      30
      Quote Originally Posted by Kromoh View Post
      It's not necessarily incorrect. Both are correct, but the second one avoids ambiguity (WBTB and SP being two terms or one term).

      At least that is what my post-graduate teacher taught me. You could check a grammar reference if the doubt persists.
      Yep, that's right. There appears to be a lot of debate about whether or not to include a comma to separate the last two items in a series. I was taught to omit the comma before the final 'and' unless there is a danger that the last two items in the series will merge and become indistinguishable without the comma.

      Since our audience is new, and potentially unaware of the meaning of the acronym, I think the safest option would be to include the comma there.

    12. #12
      Ex-Redhat
      Join Date
      Feb 2008
      Gender
      Posts
      2,596
      Likes
      956
      DJ Entries
      34
      I think that we should revisit the introduction after the rest of the chapters are finished. The one we have here is nice, but it will probably be revised at the least once the project is near its end.

    13. #13
      Member Achievements:
      Referrer Bronze Created Dream Journal 5000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      oniman7's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2008
      LD Count
      22
      Gender
      Location
      Saint Augustine, Florida
      Posts
      1,310
      Likes
      37
      DJ Entries
      5
      "Sorry, the page (or document) you were looking for was not found. Please check the address and try again."

      Thought I'd let you know.

    14. #14
      Ex-Redhat
      Join Date
      Feb 2008
      Gender
      Posts
      2,596
      Likes
      956
      DJ Entries
      34
      Yeah :/ Ah well.

    15. #15
      Ehh..Well..Uhm...HUGS!
      Join Date
      Dec 2008
      Gender
      Location
      Netherlands
      Posts
      842
      Likes
      0
      Ahh, sorry guys. I left DV and forgot about the introduction being hosted on my Google Docs, so I removed it.
      3.1 is still in this thread, though. Perhaps you could use that?
      http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l199/ablativus/spidermansig2.png

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •