I've always been a vivid dreamer. Nearly every single day I am able to remember at least one of my dreams, or sometimes multiple. I've known about lucid dreaming for years, but I never wanted to read up on it because the idea of lucid dreaming terrified me. I was afraid the second I'd be aware that I was dreaming, I would dream about something I feared most. Last night I briefly read up on how to do it for about 5 minutes. It said to have reality checks. Part of me wanted to lucid dream part of me didn't. I looked at my tattoo on my forearm only a few times that day. I honestly wasn't concentrated on having a lucid dream that night at all, but just being aware of that reality check caused me to look at my tattoo in my dream. Upon looking at it I immediately realized I was dreaming when my tattoo was all garbled and fuzzy.

In that dream I was able to walk around my room, I tried to fly but all I could do was feel weightless, like there was barely any gravity. I saw my dog in my room, and it reminded me of my other deceased dog, and I attempted to conjure her, but I couldn't imagine her. I looked at my arm several times throughout the dream to make sure I was still dreaming. Despite nothing bad happening, the first dream was very eerie. My bedroom was dark, and it just all around felt really strange. (My dreams aren't normally like this.. I rarely have any negative feelings or nightmares)

I woke up from the first dream, and immediately typed it out on the computer. It took me 20-30 minutes to get back to sleep again. I honestly didn't realize I was asleep until I was lucid dreaming again. I wasn't able to control my dream at all this time. But I preformed actions that influenced the dream to some extent. (My boyfriend was going crazy at me, and I decided to kiss him to get him to stop, which worked)

At some point I saw a little girl in my bedroom doorway. I didn't see her directly she was behind me, and I was looking at myself and saw her from the front camera of my phone. (This also happens to be the first time I ever had a dream that took place in my new house. Also both dreams took place in a normal setting ie. my house, I rarely have dreams so normal so I find it strange my lucid dreams both took place in an ordinary setting, maybe because it's more familiar?) The second I saw the little girl I tried not to look at her to make her go away. (Little creepy paranormal girls from scary movies, and paranormal things in general are my worst fears) I kept opening and closing my dream eyes. One of my eyes, my left eye I believe, was sealed shut. I couldn't open it no matter what I would do. When I closed my dream eyes I wouldn't see the dream, but when I'd open them I would see everything weird again and my garbled up tattoo.

I honestly thought I was opening and closing my real eyes. and I kept thinking "This doesn't make any sense. I'm dreaming how am I able to see the dream by opening my eyes in real life?" I started seeing scary things every time I would open my eyes, so I would regret doing so, and immediately wanted to shut them. I wanted to wake up. I remember opening them and seeing a figure covered by the blanket on my bed. I wasn't sure if it was boyfriend under those blankets... Or something else. I reached for it and tried to remove the blanket but I didn't see anything. I'm not sure if there wasn't anything under there or if it was just me closing my dream eyes again because I was too scared to look.

At this point I just wanted this all to stop. I wanted to wake up. I remember grabbing onto my eyelashes and trying to peel my eye lid open, after a few tries I managed to open my eyelid slightly but I still couldn't see anything out of my left eye. At that point I sort of gave up, and I felt like I was in some sort of blankness... And then finally, my real eyes opened. I was surprised how easily they did. I was awake.

But now after that experience, I'm afraid about having another lucid dream due to what happened... And I know I'm going to keep having them again and again... I regret reading up on it. I used to enjoy my dreams, but now being aware is sort of taking the fun out of it. Should I learn to embrace lucid dreaming and hopefully make the scary things go away? Or should I try to make it stop? I honestly have no idea how I would do that though...