I dont really know what to do at the moment, I put alot of thought into this before I sat down and started typing, but as lost soul knows, when I type I do just that, type.

First...why are all hotel showes designed for people under 5 foot?

Now most of you know that I live in the dream world nearly as much as I live in this world, and its just as real for me, I respect alll of you, and hope that possibly even one of you might have some advice for me that might help.

I ended up back in one of the realities I am more familiar with, some places I keep ending up in, others Its a one time shot. this place, I know its nearly as reacurring as the place I am typing this in.

The rules are not much different from here, the only thing I can do there is change into my dragon form, that seems to be an ability I have no matter where I am. Its not an easy thing to do, I have said in the past that the transformation defies the natural laws of conservation of energy but still it is the mosty readily thing I can do. Most times in dream I am no different than I am here, fully knowing that I am in a dream and should be able to do whatever I please... Its all in my head right?

I overheard my friends... I say this full knowing what they said already, they took me in, a lunatic, that appeared out of knowhere, no past nothing, told them I was dreaming and such... whatever...

"so what do we do about seri?"

"I dont know, ever since he came here things have been going insane"

"it was normal before wasnt it..."

"Yeah, it was."

"I mean the only reason we keep him around is because he can change into that dragon... if he isint angry or afraid."

I heard through the walls, the two of them, I left the building, and started walking, we were in the city, its harder to be found in a city.

I want to say I was in the half state, I could still feel my body here in this place, just like the beginning of the shared dream I had with lost soul.

I could feel each foot step in both worlds, my feet felt heavy, I just feel so lost, I started running, I dont know where.

Air drop me into a deep forest in the middle of the night and I can find my way out.... throw me in a city with a map and I run in circles, I ended right back where I started.... staring at the delapidated building I had just run from.

I fail them, I always wake up just when it is most important, I know I have the ability to help them but they think I am the cause of all their problems, when I showed up, it all started.

I cant help but think of Mithandir, the storm crow, in most places his arrival was a bringer of ill news, and most though that he was the cause,
"but you come with tidings of greif and danger as is your wont they say"

but his words were, "Because I come seldome but when my help is needed."

Those of you that have not read the books Mithandir is another of Gandalf's names.

But in my case I dont know, I feel like some poor sap stuck in a bad movie, Im not some great wizard. Im just a guy that can change into a dragon, granted thats not some small feat, but im not an angel come to earth like gandalf I dont know what to do, and like my friends said, I can only do it when I am at peace, and I seldom are in my dreams, I wonder if that is why I am so drained of emotion here in this place, I have been called a robot, and even an empty husk here, I have started to feel here, though prehaps I am finding balance, I just dont know. I feel funky... not the good funky either...

If any of you have anything to say that you think might help please speak your mind. I need input, I dont know what I should do anymore. How do I find peace within myself so that I can help my friends, I dont want them to think that I caused the chaos in their world, but I am not Gandalf, I am unsure of if I am the cause or if I am there to balance the chaos.

help?