Lucid dream based on a disturbing experience

**DreamQueen** · 12-22-2008 10:54 PM

Sorry this is kind of a dark thread

but a few years ago I had a very frightening and somewhat disturbing experience which left me with a recurring bad dream. The dream is basically a re-enactment of the experience I had only the ending is different. I have never actually told anyone about this event and I do wonder if I will have the courage to click on “submit new thread” when I finish typing

However here goes…

When I was eighteen I met a guy called Mike in a nightclub and I went on a date with him. The date went well and Mike seemed nice. He phoned the next day and invited me to come over to his flat that evening and so I went. I arrived at the house and it was just me, him, and a friend of his named Steve there. Right from the start they were both acting a bit strange and I sensed something wasn’t right. After a while Mike and I went into his bedroom to look at a photo album at which point his behavior became even more strange. I was sitting on his bed looking through his photo album and making polite comments but he seemed distracted and he wasn’t responding or saying anything.

Next thing Steve comes and stands in the doorway and they’re having this distinctly tense and stilted ‘non-conversation’ that was clearly some sort of code. Mike kept asking him in a very pointed way “do you wanna make a cup of tea?” and Steve kept replying that he didn’t want to. This non-conversation about a cup of tea and a broken kettle and milk carried on for ages, all the while I’m studying the album and wondering wtf is going on. At one point I surreptitiously glanced up at Steve and caught him frowning, shaking his head and mouthing “no don’t do it”. Eventually Steve persuaded Mike to go out to the kitchen with him and “look at the kettle” and so they both left the room. By this time I was feeling so uneasy that I would have climbed out the bedroom window except it was way too high above the ground (BTW, this happened in the early nineties so I didn’t have a cell phone with me).

Anyway, I decided to try and leave. I picked up my bag and quietly walked out of the bedroom, along the hallway and into the lounge. When I got to the lounge I could hear them talking in the kitchen and my worst fears were confirmed. Basically they were arguing with each other about whether or not to rape me. Luckily for me Steve had apparently decided I was “really sweet” and was trying to talk Mike out of it. How delightful. I went straight to the front door which was locked. Thankfully the key was in it so I was able to unlock it and get out.

I have since spent a fair amount of time dwelling on what would have happened if the key hadn’t been in the door. There was no other way out except the back door and to get to that I would have had to go past the kitchen. I couldn’t have climbed out a window as the whole house was elevated with the stairs outside.

Anyway, I was pretty unsettled by this incident and have had a recurring bad dream about it ever since only in the dream there is no key in the front door and I can’t get out. Well last night I had the dream again which always starts in the bedroom looking through the photo album only this time I became lucid! I instinctively kept playing along with the situation and tried to act normal until they left the room. Then I started looking for a gun. I looked in a few drawers and sure enough I found a small hand gun. I then began walking down the hall towards the lounge. I didn’t really have a plan because I wanted to get on with the dream before I woke up. I got to the lounge and instead of going to the front door I called out “hello!” which made them come out of the kitchen and into the lounge. I quickly did a RC and then raised the gun and tried to point it at Mike. Unfortunately my arm was waving all over the show and I couldn’t aim properly so I just fired randomly but I wasn’t hitting him. Then I woke up.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I've kept it to myself for all these years but I’ve found this site a cool place to hang out and full of nice people so just wondered what people think. Has anyone else had a really scary experience in RL that they dream about?

Thanks for reading my post. Just sharing this experience has made me feel better

**Thorim** · 12-22-2008 11:32 PM

Must be sad to make such experiences

Well I think having this in a dream can even help you to handle with such experiences, especially if it is lucid

**music_man** · 12-23-2008 03:05 AM

Wow.

You mustve been REALLY scared...
Well maybe the reason that you couldn't aim right is because your mind wouldn't let you because it was the wrong thing to do?..Just brainstorming...
Anyways the best you can do is try to forget about it and hope you don't have the dream again.
And you were brave enough to post it so thats good

**magical mike** · 12-23-2008 03:40 AM

Thank you for shareing that with us.
I fell the same way about how realy actions, and emotions can effect lucid dreaming
http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=69806
Did you ever contact police about this?
I think you should have because, I am sure thay did it to other people, because thay had a plan, and a coded language..

**Spiderman_859** · 12-23-2008 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by magical mike

Thank you for shareing that with us.
I fell the same way about how realy actions, and emotions can effect lucid dreaming
http://www.dreamviews.com/community/...ad.php?t=69806
Did you ever contact police about this?
I think you should have because, I am sure thay did it to other people, because thay had a plan, and a coded language..

Magical mike raises a good point. I'd hate to see someone run into the same situation as you and not have a key in the door. I'd also like to thank you for sharing. I'm sure it was hard. I have a hard time sharing trivial crap like this let alone your horror story. I've always believed that Lucid Dreaming is very therapeutic. Don't avoid your dreams, you can control them and they're safe. Use LDing to get passed this otherwise it could trouble you for a lot longer than necessary.

**DreamQueen** · 12-23-2008 06:46 AM

Thanks so much for your supportive responses. Yeah I was shaking pretty hard when I was at the front door struggling to unlock it but I guess I was in survival mode. It wasn’t until I was safely locked in my car that the impact of what had happened fully hit me.

Unfortunately no I didn’t go to the police. I have felt very bad about that over the years but at the time I was really quite traumatized by the whole experience and even thinking about it was often enough to make me throw up. I mean, the things I had overheard Mike say when I was in the hallway were sickening. Their plan seemed to entail one of them pretending to be a masked intruder. It was completely evil. To make it worse, in the weeks that followed Mike kept ringing me and making all these indirect threats. I know now that I should have gone to the police and I wish I had.

But yeah, you’re right Spiderman859 thanks, now that I’ve learned to lucid dream I feel much better because if I really want to I can just wake up from the dream. Luckily I don’t have the dream very often these days and my LDs are generally positive happy ones.

**Wolfsbane** · 12-23-2008 12:59 PM

Oh my god, you poor girl. Just from reading that, I got a terrible sharp, gripping feeling in my chest, head and stomach. My heart started beating faster too, and it still is a little bit. I'm glad you made it out safely!

I'm glad that you're able to use your LDs for more than just fun, too.

**DreamQueen** · 12-23-2008 08:23 PM

Thanks Wolfsbane! Hey your dream journal looks fantastic. I read a bit and am going to read more when I have time. Thanks for your support

**magical mike** · 12-23-2008 10:02 PM

Yeah, its understandable you dint go to the police, that kinda thing is probably unimaginable to me. But I bet it fells great to tell people about it finally. or to get it off you.

**Wolfsbane** · 12-26-2008 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by DreamQueen

Thanks Wolfsbane! Hey your dream journal looks fantastic. I read a bit and am going to read more when I have time. Thanks for your support

Aww, no problem.

Thanks! Wow, you have a lot of LDs. I subscribed to your journal.

**DeepBlue** · 12-27-2008 12:57 AM

Oh my god, you poor girl. Just from reading that, I got a terrible sharp, gripping feeling in my chest, head and stomach. My heart started beating faster too, and it still is a little bit. I'm glad you made it out safely!

Basically this. I'm sorry to hear two guys would consider doing that to you...even worse, that it's left you with trauma. It'd be awful if they were just 18 too.

**DreamQueen** · 12-27-2008 01:38 AM

Originally Posted by Wolfsbane

Aww, no problem.

Thanks! Wow, you have a lot of LDs. I subscribed to your journal.

Cool! And thanks for the hug

Originally Posted by DeepBlue

Basically this. I'm sorry to hear two guys would consider doing that to you...even worse, that it's left you with trauma. It'd be awful if they were just 18 too.

Thanks DeepBlue. They were actually about 24 years old. I'm feeling a lot better having written about it on here. Just having people agree that what I went through was really awful is helpful. The thing is, I was never able to get any sort of closure on the whole thing. I feel like they both just got away with it.

I've managed to convince myself over the years that I would have been okay even if there was no key in the door as Steve was evidently "on my side". Or.. I possibly could have got to a phone and then all I would've had to do would be to pick it up, hit 111 and request the "police". In New Zealand once you've done that the line cannot be disconnected even if you hang up, and the cops can trace the call to the house. HOWEVER....... What if they'd unplugged the phones? I've driven myself crazy dwelling on the what ifs.

At least I know not to run to a phone if I'm ever in a lucid dream about it coz phones never work properly in dreams!!!

Hey thanks for your support

**Dreaming Naturally** · 12-27-2008 04:35 AM

First of all, I would like to say that I am sorry that you had to go through that awful experience. I'm glad to know that one of the men was on your side and that you were able to escape without getting physically hurt.

In your post you talk about trying to shoot the men but missing. I'm just going to throw my two cents in. What you do in your dreams is ultimately up to you. Maybe you are supposed to confront the men. Maybe the gun didn't work because you are supposed to talk to them. A lot of the times, dreams are about facing your fears and unresolved issues. This event has traumatized you. You never got closure and the dream is your way to do so.

If you become lucid, then you know that you really have nothing to fear. Even if they do attack you, you can easily overpower them. Furthermore, as awful as this dream is, when you find yourself in this situation, you can consider it a dream sign and become lucid. You have already proven that you can do that.

Good luck to you.

**DreamQueen** · 12-27-2008 07:15 AM

Thanks Dreaming Naturally. In the dream I was only trying to shoot Mike not Steve, and yeah you could be right about why the gun didn't work. I have come to the realisation that deep down I wish I could have the chance to tell him what I think of him which is that although he thinks he's so f*cking superior to everybody else in actual fact he's just a bully and a coward. It would be great to be standing in court and have a judge tell him that and have a whole lot of people cheering. I just want him to realise that it's not okay to treat people that way and for him to actually feel bad about what he did.

I mean, what he tried to do was pure evil. I still cry about it sometimes. I'm crying now in fact

I will never forget how I felt walking towards the front door of that house having just heard what he'd said to Steve and wondering if I was going to make it out without them hearing me. People like him think they can do what they want and just get away with it, and unfortunately he did get away with it

Maybe I'll try saying all that to him if I have the dream again. I've often wished I would randomly bump into Steve in RL so I could ask him what the friggin deal was that night. If I knew Steve's last name I probably would look him up, but unfortunately I only know Mike's. Maybe I should look Mike up

Anyway, luckily most of the time I feel okay. I'm very touched by all the people who have offered support. This really is a nice forum

**venusflesh** · 12-29-2008 09:36 PM

Wow... that is SO horrible... how scary that must have been.

Thank you for sharing that here, and I'm glad it helped you to feel a bit better.

I hope that you are able to conquer this bad dream of yours and finally find some peace.

People like those men... that is just so evil and horrific to even think about doing that to somebody... I cannot even imagine... just thinking about it freaks me out and fills me with a sense of utter dread. Thank goodness you escaped. *big hugs*

**DreamQueen** · 12-30-2008 12:13 AM

Thanks so so much, venusflesh for your thoughtful and heartfelt post. Warm fuzzies to you

**LaoTze** · 12-31-2008 02:45 AM

It's my personal belief that next step for you would be to share this experience with someone close to you. Someone you can trust.

I'm very happy for you that you did not have to go through the ordeal of being raped.

And I agree that it had to been very awful experience for you, and I can't imagine the type of panic you've must have felt.

Lots of love to you

**shotbirds** · 12-31-2008 03:09 AM

I wish I could kick their asses. No one should have to go through that. :/

**DreamQueen** · 12-31-2008 04:57 AM

Originally Posted by LaoTze

It's my personal belief that next step for you would be to share this experience with someone close to you. Someone you can trust.

I'm very happy for you that you did not have to go through the ordeal of being raped.

And I agree that it had to been very awful experience for you, and I can't imagine the type of panic you've must have felt.

Lots of love to you

Thanks LaoTze. Yeah, even when I was sitting on the bed with the photo album and they were having their coded conversation I knew the situation wasn't good. My mind was whirring because I suspected it could be bad if I were to get up and try to leave at that point. All the while I was trying to casually turn the pages on the photo album at a "normal" speed so I didn't reveal that I was aware something was going on. I remember thinking how I needed to complete looking at the album because getting up half way through was not a normal thing to do and could indicate to them that I knew they were planning something, but part of me was scared about what was going to happen when I finished looking at it. I remember every thought I had.. what I was wearing.. what they were wearing.. every single detail like it was yesterday

But yeah, you're probably right about telling someone I know...

Originally Posted by shotbirds

I wish I could kick their asses. No one should have to go through that. :/

Thanks shotbirds! I wish you could too...

**LaoTze** · 12-31-2008 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by DreamQueen

Thanks LaoTze. Yeah, even when I was sitting on the bed with the photo album and they were having their coded conversation I knew the situation wasn't good. My mind was whirring because I suspected it could be bad if I were to get up and try to leave at that point. All the while I was trying to casually turn the pages on the photo album at a "normal" speed so I didn't reveal that I was aware something was going on. I remember thinking how I needed to complete looking at the album because getting up half way through was not a normal thing to do and could indicate to them that I knew they were planning something, but part of me was scared about what was going to happen when I finished looking at it. I remember every thought I had.. what I was wearing.. what they were wearing.. every single detail like it was yesterday

But yeah, you're probably right about telling someone I know...

I hope you will talk to somebody about this experience.. I'm only saying this because my childhood has been really fucked up, and I know that if I never had my brother to talk too about my emotions and feelings about all the cruelty in my life.

I can say that I'm pretty sure I would have killed myself longtime ago. I believe talking is underestimated these days. And it maybe not much but I'm pretty sure that all of us here at dreamviews will listen and help you in anyway we can here.

So be never affraid to send away a PM or something like that, me myself and I'm sure everyone else here would not mind. If you ever want something off your chest.

We are all here for you, we are humanbeings and being the beings we are. We are dependent on one an other, more than we would like to realize.

Well to sum this up, I give you a banana that always makes me smile.. Just look at the guy, it's like he just won a million bucks haha.

*sorry if spelling is not the greatest

**DreamQueen** · 12-31-2008 07:36 PM

Thanks LaoTze. I'm so sorry to hear you had difficulties in your childhood. Nothing makes me as angry as somebody hurting a child whether it be physically or psychologically. I'm so glad you had your brother to talk to. I hope you are finding a way to put any bad memories behind you.

Yeah I love the banana too! Looking at him always makes me smile!

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