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    • Silence11's Avatar
      10-03-2020, 09:27 PM
      Thank you both for the advice. I want to start with a little update: Today, I had another one of these instances occurring, in the morning. The...
      4 replies | 301 view(s)
    • Silence11's Avatar
      10-03-2020, 12:05 AM
      Hey there, I need some clarification on things that have happened to me this week. So, today I WBTB an hour early before usual. I didn't stay up...
      4 replies | 301 view(s)
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    Recent Entries

    Getting Back on Track (LD)

    by Silence11 on 09-18-2020 at 11:54 PM
    My last entry was a tad more than a month ago. After shifting training methods to work exclusively on the fundamentals, I feared the steady state progress I was currently viewing would slow down momentarily. What I didn't expect was for it to plummet spectacularly. My dream recall took a brake for about a week, wake-back-to-beds were nerve-rackingly difficult to pull off, and for days I could barely get a full night's rest. But through it all I pushed on.

    I began building awareness day by day up to this very last week when I saw glimpses of it seeping into my dreams. Were in prior entries I would innocently follow along the story, the last few nights brought questions against the logic behind each dream. Today, I am proud to see things getting back on track, with a new lucid dream. I want to point out I did attain one more lucid dream during my time away from this journal, I simply chose not to share it. I was debating if I should keep this new one to myself as well. The fact is, my dreams haven't gotten any more noteworthy than the rest. I think they've never been as special as other entries I've read around here. There are forty lucid dreams to my name and I haven't been able to go beyond a couple of steps inside, beyond a few seconds at most. I've never talked to anyone in a dream, never known what it feels to fly in a dream, no chance to see or explore, there's nothing. It's frankly demoralizing, more so when I read other people's journey, far more exciting than anything I could hope for, many of them within their first five or ten lucid dreams, some during their first.

    I want to share it however, perhaps because there's the possibility of another person like me, who struggles getting their foot through the door once lucid, so that they can see my progress and hopefully learn something of value through this journal. It's not much right now, and I'm honestly expecting nothing changing towards the end of the year. I only hope the amount of practice ends up paying off in the long run. To the dream then:

    I was at home standing in front of a window, staring at an empty space. It was dark and most likely raining outside. The lights were off. I kept listening to water running down to the ground on my left. I thought I heard footsteps pacing about farther into the distance. But then, I heard them closer. The air was thicker now, and I sensed danger looming nearby. Expecting an assault or robbery, I immediately shut the window close and put the lock on. I wait. I'm not sure the window was properly closed, so I swing it open and lock it for good only this time, it hits me that this is a dream.

    I am dreaming.

    I take my eyes off the handle and set on an empty dark space outside. The feeling of danger falls almost directly upon me. I think something will pop out from below that window and jump scare me. I try to calm down. A vibratory force makes its way up against my sides and onto my neck, enough for me to wake up.

    Updated 09-19-2020 at 01:00 AM by Silence11


    A Short One (LD)

    by Silence11 on 08-11-2020 at 12:30 AM
    The dream started inside a restaurant. As I sat around a large table with the rest of my family I noticed we were the only ones in this joint. A line of waiters dressed in black suits approached the table one by one with an assortment of dishes. A small bowl with a creamy pumpkin soup was delivered to me. Across the table and through the double-swing doors, the restaurant connected to a short entryway that lead away from the entrance. Next to it and touching the left wall, lied a series of stairs to the upper floors. I could make out two people babbling before the steps.

    The scene cuts immediately to a room brimming with people, gathered before a table opposite which where two young kids, a girl and a boy, about 5 years old each if I were to guess. We are celebrating their birthday, it seems. Among the cluster of strangers I see my brother. He proposes a toast. The collective voices of everyone in the room subside immediately. He takes a drink from his glass, turns to face me, and congratulates me for my birthday! The audience erupts in excitement. I'm bewildered, sharing a puzzling glance at my brother. It isn't my birthday today, that was six months ago! People start emptying the room. One of my cousins and her friend stay behind to sing to the birthday kids; they're having a blast. Both siblings don't really care for what's happening, though. I stay with them but they're unusually close, our heads stuck together while they sing.

    And then there's a jump in time until I find myself in a hallway. It was a bit dark now, and the road continued towards the birthday party. I was alone in here, and I started walking back to the previous room. As I walked, I began thinking. It was an oddly thought that popped in my head.

    If I go back, I'll lose this opportunity, the opportunity to do something here.

    The voice in my head appeared trustworthy enough to follow its advice; I stopped walking, and resumed thinking.

    Besides, as much as I want to return, there are more important things, and that is because... this is a dream.

    The meaning of the words hit me like a bucket of cold water. With renewed clarity I repeated the next set of words in my head:

    Where is my real body?

    My real body is lying in bed, in my house, in ***.

    I become fully lucid.

    Everything went dark for a second, and I thought I had lost the dream. I barely managed to spot a white tinge from one of the walls of the hall, so I drew my attention to it. Within seconds, the rest of the scene reappears. The passage now stretched far and wide. It was dark and humid. A system of pipes coursed from the top and beyond on both sides, and the left and right walls appeared old and dirty. I could sense the beginnings of something piercing my left side. I withstood the burn and scattered my eyes, looking for something to focus. An old wooden chair appeared now on my right. I stare at it, concentrating, and like magic the torment slowly abates. I regain focus, and repeat an intention over and over in my mind:

    I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream.

    Whatever it is I'm doing, it seems to be working. I try taking a few steps forward, looking at where I want to go instead of physically willing myself to move.

    The sound of a voice close to me breaks my attention. Was it my brother? I have trouble making things out. I see a mob from the corner of my eye, approaching from the end of the passage, from the back, from everywhere really. I grow desperate, and with it discomfort returns. I have only seconds left, I believe. Do I resist the urge to give up, or end this right now? Decisions, decisions, and I choose to wake up.

    Oh, why did I gave up too easily! Oh, well, there's always another night.

    Updated 08-11-2020 at 12:45 AM by Silence11


    Another One That Concluded at the Moment of Awareness (LD)

    by Silence11 on 07-27-2020 at 09:17 PM
    I stood in front of a complex that overlooked a public garden. This facility had long awning windows; its reflections surprised me because they were so detailed and real. My view cut next to the interiors of the dorm rooms. There were a series of bunks tucked to the walls, a couple of drawers, and a cabinet. We formed a group of four, and every morning we would wake up to write our dreams from the night. When we finished, my awareness would jump back and wake again, repeating the same process over and over. Two people patrolled around the area, so we couldn't leave the room. They were also against recording our dreams; we were vigilant of their whereabouts all the time and hid our dream journals below the mattress. Once I borrowed a book from one of my friends and pretended to be reading while writing on one of its pages.

    We were stuck in a loop until one morning, something different happened. Awake in my bunk as always, I wanted out from this building. The door to the dormitories was locked though, and as if in a video game, I could see a set of instructions plastered on the top left of my perspective. Grab the keys from Liz, it read. I found them when I searched inside the drawers around her bunk, then proceeded next (per the directions on the screen) to open the cabinet. But then, I was hit with a sudden suspicion.

    This looks familiar, I thought.

    A short squeeze grabbed hold on my left side. I gathered my thoughts more clearly, Where is my real body?. And I answered, My real body is lying in bed... sleeping right now. This, this is a dream.

    Now I was lucid, but the dream collapsed in the moment of awareness. Again, I saw nothing.

    The transition, I thought.

    I shouted clarity, clarity please! into the void a few times, but nothing seemed to happen. I tried stating an affirmation next, that the dream would fall into place, reappear in front of my eyes, nothing still. I waited, and now focused on the uncomfortable sensation.

    If I pay attention to it, perhaps...

    The squeezing increased... I woke up.

    Updated 07-27-2020 at 09:42 PM by Silence11


    A Very Brief Lucid Dream (LD)

    by Silence11 on 07-23-2020 at 08:28 PM
    This dream was long (I'll skip to the lucid bit), and I had wandered inside a discount store...

    I was walking through the aisles, as I had already done only moments ago. As I went about, I became a little suspicious about the place. I pretended I was lucid and seeing that my goal was to prevent myself from waking up, I figured it proper to concentrate on an aspect of the dream to stabilize it. I was already on the far side to the left so, I chose the wall as my object of focus. This wall had a continuous blue stripe in the middle, and I stared at it while I paced from one corner of the space to the next.

    At first it was the pattern on the wall which made things odd. Huh, this looks familiar, I thought. It was the activity however, which made me really doubt my place in here.

    Wait, I am dreaming... Ok, where is my real body?

    The answer again, was obvious: My real body is lying in bed. This is a dream.

    With that confirmation I became fully conscious, but with the realization came a pressure around my sides, and the dream appeared to be dying down (I'm not sure why this keeps happening). With the little time I had, I figured it was best to keep staring at the wall. My eyes fixed on that blue stripe until I noticed my surroundings coming back into view. And then, I heard a voice behind me; the sound was so loud and clear it startled me. I was being sucked into this world and it was too real. I got too excited unfortunately, and the pressure increased in strength once more. The dream collapsed.

    I did not know if I was really awake. A few seconds later I saw a screen of gray mist. It spawned in a circle around me and I took it as a sign of a transition period. Maybe if I remained still a new dream would form. At least, that's what I thought, though the pressure was already unbearable by this point. I tried resisting it, but it was too much and I felt forced to wake up for good.

    Updated 07-23-2020 at 10:20 PM by Silence11


    Bit by Bit Getting the Hang of Things (LD)

    by Silence11 on 07-21-2020 at 09:54 PM
    At first there were only people that came and went within the walls of some facility. Then, the shot is that of a skinny young lad dressed in green uniform. I think he worked as a security guard. He stood behind a screen, overseeing the premises and calling out people when their turn was due. Those named would then have an appointment with a lady of short black hair.

    I noticed they had trouble locating one of their clients, a mother with her child; the boy would be no older than 10. I can see her son outside the reception, waiting in line for his turn, but his mother is missing. I had a memory of watching her run to the restroom with tears in her eyes. They seemed like a humble little family. I cut back to the security officer. Her boss was impatient because her clients had not arrived.

    The scene changed in the blink of an eye. I sat on a desk in a classroom. There's a whiteboard at the front wall. To my right was a good friend of mine (I misremembered whom exactly when I woke up). I scanned the area and spotted another one of my friends seated behind me.

    "Well look who it is, M. N., doctor in medicine," I said with a smile. He knew I was messing with him. He chuckled, then got back to his things.

    We three chat for a while until a teacher entered the view, a young lady, the same lady from the reception. She ordered to open our books to page 327 (might be around the 300 - 400 pages) then went ahead to write on the board.

    Everyone pulled out their books except me. I couldn't find mine. I stared at the other desks and saw it had a hardcover with green all around. My desk was enclosed by bookshelves standing on my left and front sides. My eyes jumped from left to right of each shelf but every different book inside was green. I grabbed any random one, turned to the page, but it didn't match the one from my friends. I returned it anxiously. My vision was cloudy by now, I couldn't see nor think straight. The teacher was drawing a series of squares on the board, was this an art class? She paced around the room, verifying everyone had their book. Then, a false memory hit me; I saw the book I wanted inside my backpack.

    Once again my view jumped and this time, a small rectangular window came into view. This was a different room, a bedroom. Contrary to the classroom, which was overcrowded and noisy, there was only a bed and a window here. The bed was to my left, like the bookshelf was before it. I stared at the window, it was so blue outside. I noticed my perspective getting sucked bit by bit into it. The more I focused on the window, the more drawn to it and the easier it was for me to move toward it. As I approached the bed I feared bumping on it but my worries dwindled when I saw I could glide over it. I kept coming closer to the other side until it dawned on me that this was a dream. I don't know what it was that made me know, but the whole experience of concentrating on that window made me remember of the truth of things.

    Upon that realization I started backtracking now. Soon, I went up in the sky between clouds and sun. A city extended below. I wanted to walk the streets, their districts and landmarks, I wanted to explore. What lied in the distance? But I kept pulling away, removed from everything.

    I prod my mind and it was so easy this time, where is my real body?

    It's obvious isn't it, my real body is lying in bed, and this is a dream.

    Sure enough, I could feel my body in bed and my consciousness inside my head within the dream. An uncomfortable sensation began growing inside. I knew where this ended, what it meant. It stopped around my waist. I don't want to leave! The dream felt distant now, my awareness trapped in between it and the real world. I wanted to go inside, to feel completely in the dream world, if only for a few minutes. I wanted to stop moving. I thought about going forward this time, I commanded in my head of my intention, but it was of no use. I went back and flew as far away until I woke up in my bed.

    I must learn dream control, though I'm glad for another lucid dream, however short.

    Updated 08-12-2020 at 08:37 AM by Silence11