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    About Silence11
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    sports, reading, lucid dreaming, meditation


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    07-12-2020 10:44 PM
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    1. monsa199a  monsa199a is offline

      armadillo dreamer

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    Recent Entries

    Dreams (NLD)

    by Silence11 on 07-12-2020 at 09:47 PM
    While cutting food on a table a sudden rush of excitement took hold of me. I stopped dead center and brandished an object towards the sky. Standing there, I felt no other thing but clarity. There was a coherency that made everything fall in place. Although I saw myself from afar, non-lucid and as if on a trance, I couldn't explain how clear I was. It was as if I had finally recovered a part of me that was missing. C was beside me as always. She was holding on to something as well, staring up with eyes closed. I notice a golden string connects us together and from our bodies it continues towards something else, but I can't remember.

    This is it. I knew it was real, there was just no other way, this is it.

    The object felt very personal to us, as if it's mere existence were proof enough of the concept of this clarity. We were freed.

    When I woke I couldn't let go of this dream. It was all too powerful, and even while awake I could still grab a piece of that clarity. It was only when I finally turned away that saw the memory of it fading away. What were we holding on to? What was that object? The knife? There was a knife in the dream, but somehow this doesn't sit right with me. I think of an animal. I did saw a gray cat with weird eyes outside my window that night. It startled me. Was there a cat in my dream? The details are fuzzy, I write what I can on my journal, go to the bathroom and return to sleep.

    While on my bed I kept thinking about the object, I couldn't shake the thought off my head. I had to know, what were C and I holding on to?

    * * *

    I find myself in front of a vast tree. It is rich with leaves and sits in the middle of nowhere. Everywhere else is in shadows except for the tree. I walk close to it and take a piece of its bark. Then, I relive the events as they were from the dream before. Ah, such certainty in things.

    This was it! Not the knife, the tree!

    I know that holding a part of this tree fills me with happiness and relief. I want to keep this connection with the tree when I awake.

    * * *

    The apartment was small but welcoming. There was a large rectangular glass table top and after, a round table with four chairs, plus a couple of bedrooms to the left. There were lights placed on the walls on each side of the room. Midpoint through the apartment was a window with view of the entrance. Throughout the dream a song played and every time AA and M sang along to the tune (I can't remember what was the song's name). I see F working on a broken air conditioner. Because of the virus we had to be careful about everything we did, nothing could be left to waste. Through the window I saw a car arrive and I hear the catchy song. AA starts singing.

    I remember escaping with C and meeting some people in the woods. One guy is giving out cut pieces of paper with Homer Simpson's face on it. He says they are part of an assignment, and I feel bad because I haven't done any. I have a feeling the papers resembled one of my reality checks but now think that might be quite a mental stretch. I followed C and board a car with two of her friends. I feel like we're in Prague. She wants to drive to a new home, but doesn't remember the way. She keeps asking me for directions. She starts repeating the same number, either 21 or 51. I sit on the passenger's seat observing the vistas.

    * * *

    Below the large rock I find J and C standing by, talking. They asked me if I had dreamt anything, and I tell them of a dream I had with C. In this dream I grab her hand and lead her down a trip to the depths of the ocean. I can see the story unfold before my eyes. I only stop when two other friends arrive because I don't feel confident enough to talk about my dreams with them.

    Upon waking, I realize this dream tells a very similar story to a one I had read before in a book.

    * * *

    A very large stage spans the area of about half a football field. The lights are out, there are thousands of seats and on the center hangs a giant screen. A movie is projected on it. A teacher sits at the left corner of the stage and gives a class about film. There are exits to the right and left. The first ends on a window-door that leads to a house, and the second on a giant artificial climbing wall. I try reaching the class from the rock but notice the grips are not fastened well, they fall from their place. I focus on them, and their touch feels very real. When I reach the top I see Ca playing video games on his bedroom. I wonder why he isn't in class and he tells me he will when it's almost over. I fear they will mark us as absent but he assures me nothing will happen if we arrive before the end of the class. Still, I try to find a way to reach the theater to escape penalization. I try to find something more formal to wear instead of the shorts and shirt I have on me.

    Updated 07-12-2020 at 10:41 PM by Silence11


    Sessions (NLD)

    by Silence11 on 07-09-2020 at 10:46 PM
    To say the two women had no distinguishing features would be a lie. But it was unimaginably dark the moment we headed down the corridor, there was never a chance I could see their faces. We passed a door to the left that opened to a small bathroom. The glass door at the other side of the corridor was the only visible thing in the darkness. The mood was abnormally silent and eerie. They stopped before a door to the right about halfway through. When I went inside, I saw only a bed and a couch in an otherwise empty room. The two women spoke between themselves while I found myself comfortable.

    The both of them were well versed in lucid dreaming. I saw a person standing beside me, perhaps another student? I tried to listen to their lessons and attempted to become lucid. We would gather each night for our sessions. Every time the lesson ended, our teachers would lead us back down the corridor into a separate bedroom. I never knew who the women were, their names, nor were they in any way familiar to me. They were very patient with us, however. We would always practice during the late hours of the night.

    Sometimes, the place we stayed in changed overnight. One time we slept inside a vacant office. The room had a series of shelves around its walls with nuts, bolts, and other stuff, and a desk with a small T.V. There was a cooking show on screen about an Argentinian chef preparing an alluring sauce. Another time we were sitting outside the women's porch. I remained puzzled as to how it was we kept changing places.

    A ghost resided in the house. The first time I saw it, it had brushed past us while we were on the corridor. The ghost would always follow the same route from the glass door to the bathroom. Though it never materialized, I believed it was a small child. The women were aware of the ghost but did not feared it. The ghost never bothered with our lessons, but I never stopped being scared of it.

    During one particular night, one of the women delved into the many methods for attaining lucidity. Sitting on the couch the two practitioners guided us through their teachings. Suddenly, I could mentally see each lesson like choices on a menu screen. From the five on display (which I can't remember), I decided on the first one and gave it a chance. Immediately my body went numb, as if with sleep paralysis. An ever growing pressure settled on both sides of my neck. Anxious, I tried to shake it off, but my body would not move. As if responding to my fear, the pressing subsided. When we finished that night, one of the women stood beside me and thanked a disembodied presence for our well-being.

    * * *

    I try moving my hands but notice they are tied to a pole. It is very dark in here, wherever I am. I am, again, bordering on the threshold of lucidity. I remember discussing lucid dreaming with two other people. We don't seem to have a body with us while the conversation takes place.

    Updated 07-10-2020 at 06:44 AM by Silence11


    It Feels So Good To Be Back (LD)

    by Silence11 on 07-06-2020 at 11:07 PM
    Throughout the night I recalled only fragments that went nowhere. They would always come in pairs. Strangely was that one of the two would always dance around the border of lucidity. In one of these encounters I was delving in the concept of lucidity with someone else. In another, my dream self would always feel unease around the oddness of the dream world. I was always present during their runtime.

    When I opened my eyes prior to this last dream, it was already 10:30 am. I debated in my head if a WBTB felt proper. I decided not to. There was a thought inside my head this morning. A belief, that if I could by any chance stretch another hour of sleep, I would become lucid in a dream. I tossed and turned and long enough a sense of sluggishness reeled in. I wasn't aware when I had fallen asleep.

    * * *

    After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, I gave up. I remember feeling pretty ordinary and awake. I hold still for a few seconds, should a final memory reveal itself. When I opened my eyes, I saw a different bedroom. It was a place that existed in reality, my own bedroom (I'm currently staying somewhere else). To my right lied two more beds. The last one was disheveled and covered in clothing. The table at the end, opposite the beds, was empty. A large window stood in front of it. The light was on and colored the space in a strong orange tint. I felt like grabbing some breakfast after taking a shower.

    While I grabbed a pair of socks, a t-shirt and some shorts from the pile of clothes, my father entered. He sported a plain white shirt, some shorts and sandals. I notice a laptop on his hands, as well as a small black device that looks like some sort of radio receiver. Upon seeing it I took for granted it was a speaker for the laptop. He sits and places his belongings on the table and watches T.V.

    I hadn't decided yet what I wanted to wear and juggle too many socks on my hands. I remember there was a dark shirt around the pile I wanted to grab but I couldn't find it.

    Dad senses the struggle and asks while watching, "Need any help?".

    "Uh, no," I respond.

    I stop for a moment and contemplate for a second. Looking back to the light I think, perhaps I overslept into the night and it's already late. Lowering my eyes, I notice I already have the shirt I want on my hands.

    After closing the bathroom door I sit on the toilet. I don't know why, but I keep looking at my hands. As I stretch them out in front of me, I notice they're unnaturally pale. My vision is a bit weird also, like someone decided to drop a visual effect on the scene. I turn back to my hands and stare for long seconds. I stare… my eyes widen, oh my god, I'm dreaming!!! This is a dream! I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming!. I am beyond excited. The reality check worked! It finally worked!.

    Thrilled, I turn my gaze towards the door. I sense fear.

    A monster or demon lies on the other side of this door.

    I come back to my senses. Don't be a fool! Remember that expectation rules in this place. If you do not give it focus, nothing will happen.

    I become hesitant. The door appears menacing, towering in front of me. I try a different approach. A primitive reaction fills inside me. Women! Yes, if I open the door and imagine beautiful women standing on the other side, it should work!. I have some doubts but open the door anyway.

    A hallway stretches out for a good six meters or so. I can see a sink and a mirror far away. This passage is old. I can see the paint peeling off from the corners of its walls. They are painted evenly of dark bluish tones. As I walk around the narrow path fear has already left me. I'm so happy for my success, I don't know what to do! I notice how I'm walking for the first time in my dream. It's like in the book! A mental intention, not a physical one.

    I try speaking, but no sound comes out. I try shouting with greater strength, but the sounds are muffled as if being underwater. I look up at the ceiling and think of flying. Will I make it happen? I try setting my intention clear. I want to will myself up but I'm afraid I will crash on the ceiling. Nothing happens.

    A vibratory sensation penetrates my sides. It is a strong, uncomfortable feeling. I realize the dream is about to collapse. I can feel it getting stronger, and when engulfed by it I'm already awake.

    * * *

    Turns out the practice was successful. After one long 3 year break from this hobby, it only took 11 days to get back in the game. I must continue the practice, I can do this. We, can do this.

    Updated 07-06-2020 at 11:11 PM by Silence11


    When Reality-Check Knocks On Your Door (NLD)

    by Silence11 on 07-03-2020 at 09:54 PM
    As a formless observer I see myself at the front door of the house where I'm currently staying. There's two other people with me. C stands beside the sofa and U. Ch in front of the kitchen table. The observer part in me locates an object approaching from outside towards the entrance. It is a square-looking thing that my dream self recognizes as my reality check (it is). It rolls its way up the steps and stops before the door. But my dream self denies it passage, explaining to my two guests, that because I don’t know what the object entails, unless we're to open the door and find out, then it would "defeat the purpose" of the reality check altogether, and so I couldn't invite it in.

    * * *

    Authorities are searching for a boy who has been missing. I'm inside a completely dark room covered in black drapes, accompanied by a creepy lady who holds the boy hostage. This lady, whose name is not known, looks like a very sophisticated clairvoyant dressed in black robes. The kid, who will never speak during the course of the dream, resembles a very young Anakin Skywalker. He is neither scared nor unfazed about his present situation. While we stand together, a bunch of computer screens turn on, revealing the face of FBI agents that know of the boy's whereabouts. The lady leaves the room and escapes.

    I'm left with the boy and convince him to tag along. We follow a tunnel that leads to the outskirts of a large castle. We change into new attires to match with the times and setting of this place. The boy in particular now resembles a very young Link, except for his blonde hair. We walk around a lake lying to the side of one of the castle's towers. As we reach the other side of the lake we sneak past some guards standing watch by a gate and reach what appears a small town.

    There's folk going by doing their business. The streets are crowded with merchants, women, and children. A string of houses lie on both sides of the street. The armors of the city watch shine under the light of the sun as they patrol around every now and then. If we walk close to any of the town's inhabitants a prompt appears above their heads like those in a video game.

    We make our way to the roof of these houses to remain hidden from the authorities and think about our best course of action. The kid seems to take this little adventure rather well. From above, an underground passage leading to a cellar lies to our left. When we reach the bottom, we find a large room of beds with people sleeping. I turn on some lights to see what we can use.

    Suddenly the agents (also dressed in armor) have discovered our location and reach the gate with a whole army to spare. I frantically search for weapons but can't find any. A lady approaches the inlet to the cellar. She interrogates the man who guards the entrance. He refuses to speak so she sticks a sword up his side and leaves him to die. She returns for her army but we take this opportunity to sneak out and run for our lives.

    We run around the corners of the town, and climb atop people's homes, keeping out of grasp from the city watch. On rooftop we find a long round door that covers a tunnel. It is a long path that leads to the other side of town, away from danger. We enter and I find three sets of sandals and shoes, mostly light to wear and white in color. They look beautiful and I can't help but store them in my bag.

    Outside we reach another gate surrounded by a dangerous current. The precipice is tall enough to prove deadly. I fall and in true "Dark Souls" fashion lose my "souls". Now I'm trapped on top of a very small hill while three crocodiles roam around in the water.

    * * *

    There's a door I keep opening and closing. I keep explaining to someone or more than one person about what happens when you open a door. I make sure they know that it takes at least three times for the person who crosses it while entering for it to mean something, and the same when someone exits the same amount of times. Was it perhaps, lucidity? Ah, the memory eludes me.

    Updated 07-03-2020 at 10:02 PM by Silence11


    The Magic Bus (NLD)

    by Silence11 on 06-29-2020 at 10:46 PM
    Walking outside in the streets at night I follow the road upstream to wherever it may lead. After a few minutes I come about a simple house at the top of a closed street. A young woman sweeps the floor as I approach her on the porch. She reminds me of an old friend from years past. The front door is open and I notice a young child playing with her toys. They are kind people I feel, but know deep down in my gut that her partner is an abusive monster.

    She does the laundry and waits beside as if expecting me to get close. I lean in to her and she begs me for her and her daughter's well-being. I'm hesitant at first, scared of what might become of me, but I can't refuse her pleas now that I'm here. I tell her we have no time to waste and will prepare some tickets to get her out of the state. At first she seems wary of her remaining tasks at home, the wet clothes, the dinner in a few hours, but I tell her to just let it be and pack as is. She washes hastily and we agree to meet in a few hours while his husband sleeps in bed.

    I meet her and her child at a bus terminal. I had arranged beforehand to get our tickets from a known underground contact. As we board the bus I'm wary about danger close by. His husband is on the know of our plan and he's on his way right now to the terminal and bring them back. We have to be quick, so we get into our seats and I hope with all my heart he doesn't reach us before this bus departs. I fear if he were to arrive at the terminal the bus would not move. I speak with the flight attendants for the delay but I'm reassured when I feel the bus initiates its launch into the streets. At this point I know we're safe, she is safe.

    As we roll out into the streets, I'm marveled at how different the bus is. We're not so much driving as we're gliding across the road. I peak out the window and notice this bus has wings like those of a plane. A row of seats stretch above us and to the side. This bus is magical. Then come the deserts. Whether we're in the mood for ice cream, cakes, pies, plates filled with deserts come descending from above. They float in front of us and linger just in reach for our hands to grab. I serve me some ice cream and feel delighted at the amount of care and service we're getting.

    * * *

    I've been having some pressing confrontations with a vampire as of late. Both me and my associate C, a woman with unimaginable skill, search the creepy and foggy woods at night in wait for its attack. I've been getting better with each fight and because of my success, fortune has awarded me with two long sables to defend our cause. Now it is our turn to become the predators and it the prey. We reach the end of an abandoned chimney that sits inside a big willow tree. The damn entrance is closed unfortunately. So we start digging.

    Moments prior someone important had gifted C a white glowing dagger that could end the life of this vampire forever. It was our secret weapon, our last resort should the battle turn ugly. Anyway, we end up digging far more than we expected but reached at last a buried treasure. It is an ancient book, beautifully crafted (like those found in the movie "The Mummy"). The book is entirely made of precious stone and engraved on its plates lies a short tale about the vampire itself. As we turn the pages it greets us through its story, excited for all this time it has been leading us fools into a trap, preparing us for our doom as it is our fate to become its slaves.

    At this point the chimney opens. A blinding mist escapes through the abyss that covers the entrance. Its attack was swift and silent. I thought I had it so I swing my right hand and hope the blade managed to make contact. It anticipates this move however, and restrains my arm with its hand and, holding a short dagger with its free hand, is about to deliver a deadly blow. I know this is the end, but before the blade penetrates my skin, C swiftly pierces its side with the white dagger. The creature moans in agony and disappears for good into the night.

    Updated 07-03-2020 at 10:03 PM by Silence11