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    Age
    27
    About Silence11
    LD Count:
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    calisthenics, reading, lucid dreaming, meditation
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    1. monsa199a  monsa199a is offline

      armadillo dreamer

      monsa199a
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    Recent Entries

    Wander (LD)

    by Silence11 on 11-24-2020 at 02:26 AM
    Night of November 22, 2020

    I was dating this beautiful girl that, for whatever reason, was being shunned by most of her peers. We had arrived at a restaurant, some establishment that belonged to one of her close friends. To my knowledge, we had agreed on the place for me to finally meet them. When we got there however, they took every opportunity to avoid us. I walked over to the bar and noticed she hadn't actually made a reservation. Frustrated, I stormed with her out of the restaurant.

    Outside, a light bluish shade had fell upon the row of houses as they stretched along a wintry road in the middle of the night. The moon was uncharacteristically willing tonight, shining the way as I headed down the road. Far in front of me, I noticed a couple holding hands and moving at a brisk pace. It appeared to me they had gotten out of a restaurant only moments ago. I don't know why but I felt compelled to catch up to them. Though I increased the speed I could never reach the pair as they turned left at the corner and disappeared behind a wall. Once I made my way to the end they were long gone.

    The street opened up to an avenue with four lanes, spreading out indefinitely into the distance. Adjoining the last lane on the right stood a factory of manufacturing Coca-Cola products. Short stacks of billowing smoke escaped from one of its pipes every once in a while. Apart from the steady swaying of leaves from shrubs and trees alike nearby, everything else remained peacefully quiet. I was very much alone here. I realized now that I had nowhere else to go, no home to arrive to, no bed to sleep on. I considered taking a risk and stay close to any stranger's residence. It'd be only for a night and for a few hours at most. I'd be gone before morning. Before I made my decision, I looked back on the road and it was then that I remembered. I remembered this was a dream. Things were markedly clear now.

    I stood there by the sidewalk, staring into space while contemplating this thought, and all of a sudden I blinked and appeared on my bed, watching a video on my phone. It wasn't long, however, before I realized again that this was also a dream. I repeated the thought carefully: Remember, it is a dream. I tried lifting up and that was when I felt an immense pressure weighing down on me. It's as if I was breaking past the limit of an invisible wall. It occurred to me that I may have been trying to move my physical body, in bed, at the same time I tried doing so in the dream. Despite this and contrary to any other occasion, I would not wake up. I noticed that as long I kept focus, I could push over to the other side. No vibrations this time. Inch by inch my body began to rise, that is, until a split second later I lost sight of my goal and the dream began to fade. Everything went black for a bit before I opened my eyes to reality.

    Updated 11-24-2020 at 06:09 AM by Silence11

    Categories
    lucid

    Update #2 (LD)

    by Silence11 on 11-16-2020 at 03:49 AM
    Agent
    Night of November 11, 2020

    We had rushed inside one of the houses at the end of the road. It took a while to get our bearings. By the air of conversation coming from one of the rooms on the back, I could tell the owners were unaware of our presence. B stood behind me while I looked back on the door; I opened it ever so slightly until it allowed a small peek through to the other side. Below the thickness of light were vehicles among the rest of homes that lined both sides of the street. My eyes panned side to side; not a single soul stood out in the close vicinity, and that was concerning. They were nowhere to be found.

    And then, by mere chance I caught the shadowy figure of a man. He emerged from a corner between the third and fourth houses to the left of the street, and soon after followed not one but five more men. Their sleeveless and greasy shirts were disgustingly magnified by the ammo belts running across their chest. One of them, the closest to the entrance, raised his weapon in victory as he kicked the door from its hinges. The crew forced their way through the threshold while I looked back in horror. With my back against the exit I shut the door close. I could barely think straight; B hadn’t moved an inch.

    "They're coming," I said.

    B trailed after me as we moved to the back of the house where we found a group of three women sitting around a table.

    “We need to move out of this house.” I warned them.

    “They’re going to be here any minute now and if they find us, we’re done.”

    But the three women ignored me and continued their conversation without a care in the world. As a matter of fact, I don’t think they even heard me. I signaled B and we hurried out of the place through one of the windows. We walked for a while and it wasn’t long when we came upon a stretch of land. An assembly of bodies in black suits covered the space wide. I don’t know why I looked back. The three women's residence was a two-story structure that housed a large balcony overlooking the field. Up on the platform my eyes locked with one of the mercenaries. I diverted my gaze immediately and pulled us both near the crowd of people. But it was too late now. As if taken from one of the Matrix movies, I saw two agents drop to the ground. We had been found.

    I turned back only to determine the distance between us as we ran for our lives. The agents chased us to a building which I barely recognized (after waking up) as my old middle school. The old place had a layout consisting of four floors of interconnecting corridors organized in a rectangular pattern. I had taken B up and down countless sets of stairs, through narrow passages and broken-down classrooms. But no matter how much I tried we couldn’t lose them. Eventually, our haphazard escape meant it was only a matter of time before one of us lost sight of the other.

    Alone and terrified I ran as fast as I could. Before reaching the end of the hall, I found a short space on the lower left wall near one of many locked doors. I shoved myself into the crammed space and crept my way inside into an abandoned classroom. Within the darkness I barricaded myself with pieces of decayed old wooden chairs, broken tables, and any other mess I could find. I crouched behind the dusty window of the door and awaited in silence. The close stomps from one of the agents could be heard from barely a few feet away. The sound of footsteps came from the right; they stopped directly in front of me, then resumed on the other side, dying out the further they went. Slowly, I raised my head from the ground. We were already deep into the night. The dirty window made it almost impossible to see but, there was no mistake that the quivering figure standing on the third floor, on the other side of the school, was none other than B himself, taken into custody by one of the agents.

    I had to go back for my friend. I retreaded slowly away from the door, and then I realized the back of the room had opened itself to a parking space abutting a roadside hotel. The place had a set of stairs to one of the upper floors. The sounds approaching from the neighboring guest rooms startled me, so I took cover, crouching behind the wall at the bottom of the steps. A young man crossed from side to side not before stopping midway after noticing me. He shared a puzzling look. Realizing the awkwardness of the situation I stood up almost immediately and played things off as if nothing had happened. The young man continued, and I followed him up as he turned the corner on the left and entered through the doors to the public restroom. As I did, it became clear to me that this was all a dream.

    The place I was in wasn’t anything special, save for a very distinctive feature. I discovered it by watching the young man from before, the moment he sat on the floor in front of a mirror above one of the sinks. Without any interaction on his part, the mirror turned itself on like any other T.V. I was surprised at what unfolded in front of me. But before I did anything else, I had to ground my lucidity inside the dream.

    “Where is my body?” I asked.

    “My body is lying in bed. I am dreaming.”

    “What date is it?”

    “It is the 11th of November.”

    With renewed clarity, I approached one of the mirrors. As I grabbed it, the object twisted and shrank to a size perfectly fitted to my grip. Like a tablet, I held the mirror and stared at it. Nothing out of the ordinary happened; my reflection looked perfectly back at me. The young man watching T.V. was still there, withdrawn from anything or anyone around him. I didn’t know what to do with this thing. But then, an idea popped inside my head. Could I use an object like this, especially a mirror, to look into another space in the world, maybe use it as a medium of transportation? Say I want to travel to a different location, perhaps the mirror could facilitate a much needing proposition. But how do I get this thing to work?

    First, I would need to think of the place I wanted to see. I initially thought about the old school, but at this point lucidity was slipping away and it was hard for me to keep a concentrating effort on the task at hand. The old school brought memories of my friend B, and with a little effort I thought I could use the mirror to look back to where exactly he was being held prisoner. The distance wasn’t long, and maybe I could get back to him by use of the object in the span of an instant. I regained a little awareness after this and attempted my escape. However, whatever I tried, I could not get past my own reflection in the mirror. I thought directly on where I wanted to go, tried to imagine the place I had been previously; I even turned away for a second, then looked back, hoping to see something other than my face behind the small piece of glass, but I failed time and again. It’s as if I didn’t actually believe such a thing possible. Absurd. This was a dream. Impossible had no meaning within the confines of my own mind. And yet, doubt was a hurdle difficult to eradicate. But my mind wasn’t having it no more. Confusion formed inside a cloud that blurred my judgement, disconnecting my mind and sliding me away into the mindset of non-lucid.

    The dream continues non-lucidly.



    Dipping One's Toes at Dream Control: My First Attempts
    Night of November 12, 2020

    I stopped before the stairs of my house, observant of whatever was downstairs. I did not know why, but something about the place was amiss. Things felt wrong; it all felt slightly off. And then, it hit me: It is a dream.

    I repeated the words, and each time I did, I could feel the cogs inside my head starting to turn. I saw more clearly now, aware of what was happening. Downstairs, danger was imminent. I wanted to get out of here, but I didn’t know how. I thought I’d wish a new place into existence, but the dream would not budge. I tried talking my way through things, but again, it mattered little to none if I didn’t believe myself to make it happen. I stayed for several more attempts until I finally woke up.

    Updated 11-16-2020 at 05:31 AM by Silence11

    Categories
    lucid

    Update #1 (LD)

    by Silence11 on 10-31-2020 at 12:30 AM
    Three nights, three opportunities to lucid dream, detailed as follows:

    ??? - September 27, 2020

    The dream had a nightmarish tone from the very beginning. I don't remember much, as this landed on a rest day. I strain my eyes in hopes of finding some memory of the event. With effort, an image comes to mind. Oh right, I remember now. I was wandering in the woods at night, and then... I'm in my house... in the backyard. It's still dark outside. I see a group of animals, rodents, or maybe they're toys, making their way to the end of the wall. There's a close-up shot from above showing them, just lying there lifelessly in the grass. Now, I circle around a rock formation. Like a camera, I fix on the summit of a mountain as I round and round the place, as if in a helicopter. What's that on top, is it, a head? But it is nothing like any head I've ever seen. This one is more alien-shaped. Two processes protrude below it, and creep on the ground, like worms. I can't have one good shot at the thing because it keeps disappearing. My view circles around once more. All this seems very repetitive, and maybe it is my brain recognizing a pattern, similarities within the experience. The pattern turns to oddness, and weird turns to clarity:

    I am dreaming.

    The dream collapses. From within the blackness I enter REM atonia. Vibrations on my left side, full-body paralysis and the gut wrenching sight of the alien was the breaking point for me. It didn't matter that it was a dream. I wanted out, and I did.



    The Man on the Lake - October 17, 2020

    Many more dreams today. First, I saw a man standing in a large body of water, the height of which could barely touch his knees. The lake spanned for miles everywhere, and it didn't look to have an end. The moon reflected on the surface and the light mist covering the lake made everything so dream-like. The figure stared at the water, as if searching for something. He wore a dark robe, and for some reason or another, I though this person's name to be Adrian. I watched, and again, everything felt very repetitive, with the constant whirling around and searching. I figured it out shorty.

    This is a dream.

    Unfortunately, recognizing things meant giving permission for vibrations to do their thing. Tonight, they had focused entirely around my neck. The sensations were short but powerful, and in seconds I was overwhelmed by them. I woke up.



    The Garden - October 29, 2020

    I followed a woman downstairs to a basement. The space was accommodated to appear like a normal bedroom. There were beds and all provisions were made available so that one could live here. The woman led me then to a door above short steps that opened into a small entryway. Two doors lied on both sides, where a bathroom stood behind the one to the right. As we continued, the plain concrete walls from before made way for a stone finish. We stopped before two corridors that joined on both ends to form a rectangle. In the center, a beautiful garden spawned in the middle. And while looking around this garden, I knew. It was such a familiar feeling, a convincement that I was dreaming.

    This time, surprisingly, there were no more vibrations, no more unpleasantness to follow the process of getting lucid. A big part of this had to do, perhaps, with my undivided attention to the scene at hand, on the plants, the flowers, the amount of detail contained within this garden. I understood that if I had so much as squinted away for a moment, that vibrations would return, but I persevered, and maintained my eye fixed on the world that lied in front of me. I walked along the corridor. There, in the sky, I noticed a small shimmer of light peering its way from above, bathing the greenery with color. There was a gate up ahead, but by the time I had crossed it lucidity had left me, and I became oblivious of when I had fallen back to a more dream-like version of myself.

    The dream continues non-lucidly.

    Updated 10-31-2020 at 12:43 AM by Silence11

    Categories
    lucid

    Getting Back on Track (LD)

    by Silence11 on 09-18-2020 at 11:54 PM
    My last entry was a tad more than a month ago. After shifting training methods to work exclusively on the fundamentals, I feared the steady state progress I was currently viewing would slow down momentarily. What I didn't expect was for it to plummet spectacularly. My dream recall took a brake for about a week, wake-back-to-beds were nerve-rackingly difficult to pull off, and for days I could barely get a full night's rest. But through it all I pushed on.

    I began building awareness day by day up to this very last week when I saw glimpses of it seeping into my dreams. Were in prior entries I would innocently follow along the story, the last few nights brought questions against the logic behind each dream. Today, I am proud to see things getting back on track, with a new lucid dream. I want to point out I did attain one more lucid dream during my time away from this journal, I simply chose not to share it. I was debating if I should keep this new one to myself as well. The fact is, my dreams haven't gotten any more noteworthy than the rest. I think they've never been as special as other entries I've read around here. There are forty lucid dreams to my name and I haven't been able to go beyond a couple of steps inside, beyond a few seconds at most. I've never talked to anyone in a dream, never known what it feels to fly in a dream, no chance to see or explore, there's nothing. It's frankly demoralizing, more so when I read other people's journey, far more exciting than anything I could hope for, many of them within their first five or ten lucid dreams, some during their first.

    I want to share it however, perhaps because there's the possibility of another person like me, who struggles getting their foot through the door once lucid, so that they can see my progress and hopefully learn something of value through this journal. It's not much right now, and I'm honestly expecting nothing changing towards the end of the year. I only hope the amount of practice ends up paying off in the long run. To the dream then:




    I was at home standing in front of a window, staring at an empty space. It was dark and most likely raining outside. The lights were off. I kept listening to water running down to the ground on my left. I thought I heard footsteps pacing about farther into the distance. But then, I heard them closer. The air was thicker now, and I sensed danger looming nearby. Expecting an assault or robbery, I immediately shut the window close and put the lock on. I wait. I'm not sure the window was properly closed, so I swing it open and lock it for good only this time, it hits me that this is a dream.

    I am dreaming.

    I take my eyes off the handle and set on an empty dark space outside. The feeling of danger falls almost directly upon me. I think something will pop out from below that window and jump scare me. I try to calm down. A vibratory force makes its way up against my sides and onto my neck, enough for me to wake up.

    Updated 09-19-2020 at 01:00 AM by Silence11

    Categories
    lucid

    A Short One (LD)

    by Silence11 on 08-11-2020 at 12:30 AM
    The dream started inside a restaurant. As I sat around a large table with the rest of my family I noticed we were the only ones in this joint. A line of waiters dressed in black suits approached the table one by one with an assortment of dishes. A small bowl with a creamy pumpkin soup was delivered to me. Across the table and through the double-swing doors, the restaurant connected to a short entryway that lead away from the entrance. Next to it and touching the left wall, lied a series of stairs to the upper floors. I could make out two people babbling before the steps.

    The scene cuts immediately to a room brimming with people, gathered before a table opposite which where two young kids, a girl and a boy, about 5 years old each if I were to guess. We are celebrating their birthday, it seems. Among the cluster of strangers I see my brother. He proposes a toast. The collective voices of everyone in the room subside immediately. He takes a drink from his glass, turns to face me, and congratulates me for my birthday! The audience erupts in excitement. I'm bewildered, sharing a puzzling glance at my brother. It isn't my birthday today, that was six months ago! People start emptying the room. One of my cousins and her friend stay behind to sing to the birthday kids; they're having a blast. Both siblings don't really care for what's happening, though. I stay with them but they're unusually close, our heads stuck together while they sing.

    And then there's a jump in time until I find myself in a hallway. It was a bit dark now, and the road continued towards the birthday party. I was alone in here, and I started walking back to the previous room. As I walked, I began thinking. It was an oddly thought that popped in my head.

    If I go back, I'll lose this opportunity, the opportunity to do something here.

    The voice in my head appeared trustworthy enough to follow its advice; I stopped walking, and resumed thinking.

    Besides, as much as I want to return, there are more important things, and that is because... this is a dream.

    The meaning of the words hit me like a bucket of cold water. With renewed clarity I repeated the next set of words in my head:

    Where is my real body?

    My real body is lying in bed, in my house, in ***.

    I become fully lucid.

    Everything went dark for a second, and I thought I had lost the dream. I barely managed to spot a white tinge from one of the walls of the hall, so I drew my attention to it. Within seconds, the rest of the scene reappears. The passage now stretched far and wide. It was dark and humid. A system of pipes coursed from the top and beyond on both sides, and the left and right walls appeared old and dirty. I could sense the beginnings of something piercing my left side. I withstood the burn and scattered my eyes, looking for something to focus. An old wooden chair appeared now on my right. I stare at it, concentrating, and like magic the torment slowly abates. I regain focus, and repeat an intention over and over in my mind:

    I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream.

    Whatever it is I'm doing, it seems to be working. I try taking a few steps forward, looking at where I want to go instead of physically willing myself to move.

    The sound of a voice close to me breaks my attention. Was it my brother? I have trouble making things out. I see a mob from the corner of my eye, approaching from the end of the passage, from the back, from everywhere really. I grow desperate, and with it discomfort returns. I have only seconds left, I believe. Do I resist the urge to give up, or end this right now? Decisions, decisions, and I choose to wake up.



    Oh, why did I gave up too easily! Oh, well, there's always another night.

    Updated 08-11-2020 at 12:45 AM by Silence11

    Categories
    lucid