yukiiwama
Lurker

25/03/11

Wasn't lucid but everything was vivid.

I'm trying to survive a zombie apocalypse with my little sister, my grandma, and my mum. I don't know where my dad is. Probably a zombie.
I clearly remember the last half of my dream so I'll write it down. After being safely secured into a fairly nice apartment unit (maybe on the 3rd or 4th storey) I try to keep the door shut against the zombies with various things: a chair, a bookshelf, a towel (?), amongst other things That aren't too clear. The sun is setting and the zombies are getting more and more ravenous. My sister appears next to me trying to help keep the door secure and the zombies start banging against the door - they smell blood. I start to get frantic and for some reason a boy vaguely appears and he tries to help me but ends up tearing the doorhandle out and weakening the defences on the door. I remember thinking that he was a total idiot and that we were all going to die. A zombie gnashes its teeth and stares into the hole where the doorhandle used to be and the zombies in my dreams don't look like normal movie zombies. They looks like slimy, starved half men half Gollum creatures with slits for a nose and big round eagle eyes and hundreds of razor sharp teeth. They are grey/blue in colour and are totally wild creatures. The zombie manages to push the door open a fraction and it slithers a hand in to push down the objects holding the door closed against the swarm of zombies and now I am the only one and the only thing stopping the zombies from coming in. My sister is still there but she is helplessly staring at the dire scenario. I try to gouge the zombie's eyes but it manages to prick my forefiger and my middle finger with its teeth and I know right then and there that I was going to 'change' into a zombie.
I remember feeling the pain when the zombie cut me and I could see the blood on my fingers so well. I remember sucking the blood and suddenly the zombies stopped trying to come into the apartment and they moved on in a slow swarm - possibly finding an easier kill. I opened the door and started to follow them but then I turned back to my sister who was standing in the doorway and I said, in distress, "I can't do it. I can't go with them yet. I need to say goodbye to everyone."
So I went back inside to the lounge where my mum and my grandma were sitting and my sister sat down on the couch with them. The sun has fully set and the flourescent lights in the room were flickering. I showed my mum my cut fingers and she couldn't see them too well. She didn't really understand what I was telling her, so I told her, "I got bitten."
I remember feeling the terror and desperation I felt at that very moment. Those emotions felt so real at the time and I started shaking and pacing up and down saying "I don't want to change. I need to kill myself before I change. Can you kill me mum? Can you kill me?"
My mum looked terrified and my little sister said "You're going to kill yourself?!" in a very incredulous voice.
"Do you have a knife? A rope? Sleeping pills?" I started yelling.
My grandma just sighed and told me to look in her sewing kit (in real life she actually has this sewing kit that she used all the time) for her sleeping pills.
I obeyed and gave her a big jar of large green pills. She started cutting them open and pouring the contents onto a newspaper to put into a glass of water and while she was doing it I was terrified I wouldn't be able to kill myself before I changed into a zombie.
I asked my mum when I would 'change' and she replied, "You have five minutes."
"FIVE MINUTES?!"
I sat down next to my mum and meditated to try and stop the change happening and for a moment I thought maybe I was different. Maybe I could stop myself from changing. And While I was meditating and concentrating on not changing I could the change rise up from deep within me (it was a strange, hot, angry, and desperate sort of feeling) and I kept trying to push it back down. But then my vision went black and the last thing I saw before I collapsed sideways onto the couch was my grandma chopping up green pill after green pill and I could feel extremely intense agony in my torso and I remember screaming and it sounded inhumane and metallic (like the zombies) and I totally blacked out and my mum was trying to comfort me while I was changing and my last thought before i woke up was how I wished my grandma would hurry up so I could kill myself.

Very morbid dream and I woke up still feeling the echo of the pain that I felt in my dream. I feel pain quite often in my dreams and although it's distressing at times it only takes me half an hour or so to recover from the dream. However, after this dream I spent the whole morning yelling at my sister and feeling really angry and distressed and I couldn't face anyone. I ended having to get high and that helped me. I wonder if this is normal?

Irrelevant perhaps but note to self...

14/03/11

Tried OBE-ing tonight. I can slip into deep meditation/sleep paralysis quite quickly now with the help of binaural beats. I tried different techniques to Exit my physical body and I tried four times in the span of 3 hours. Not sure what's holding my astral self (correct term?) back...
The closest I got was on the third (or fourth not quite clear) try when my whole body starting tingling and vibrating and it instantly became lighter and I felt like I was floating halfway out of my physical body and halfway in. I had vague dream-like flashes of vision - of a humanistic lizard who appeared twice (Maybe my guide?), a dream-like world with a large tree shedding leaves in autumn sunset, of demonic white faces half in shadows...- and I managed to keep this up until I started to lose consciousness of my mind and I felt myself slide back into my physical body and I opened my eyes.
I was trying too hard on my first few tries of OBE-ing (I was thinking too hard) but I found it helped to clear my head, concentrate on my breathing and to look deep into the darkness of my closed eyes. Sometimes if I do this I find my astral body spinning and feeling lighter and expanding and I feel like I could just fly out of my physical body and something is holding me back!!!!!!! I've tried different techniques but it didn't work. I guess practice makes perfect?

I'm a noob and new to this site so excuse me if I'm not too familiar with terms and such.
Well, here goes my first entry.

09/03/11 - LD

I had a lucid dream but I had no control over it. I did have enough control to explore my surroundings however and I was slightly aware I was dreaming.
I was in a huge, old university (sort of similar to Hogwarts but more modern and different) and the school had a musty smell and quiet atmosphere about it.
I was walking through the various hallways and classrooms and opening up doors into different rooms. The sun was seeping in through the windows and I could see the dust flying in the air. I then saw a long-shot (film-wise) of the university and I was aware that I was inside the building even though I could see the outside. The university was hidden in amongst trees and foresty-type forages. It was either sunrise or midday not too sure. The sky was blue and it was cold.
My awareness back inside the university, I then started talking to other students about something (can't remember) and they were friendly. The atmosphere of the place was peaceful and cheery.

And then suddenly I was thrust into another dream (wasn't so much a LD but it felt real despite me not having any control over it whatsoever) where me and other people were being pursued by an unknown enemy. The dream was heavily contrasted with sharp shadows (film-noir). We were speeding through dark, gothic London streets and it had just been raining really hard. It was night and the clouds from the rain had cleared to show stars. We were manically driving in an old car (the one with the horn on the side and no rooftop) and there were many of us crammed in the car with some standing on the outside, clinging onto the sides. It was almost cartoon-like. It was chaotic and full of action, a vast contrast to the previous dream and all I could remember feeling was sheer panic and adrenaline. We were racing down past the docks and some big ships were bobbing silently in the sea and I could see the reflection of the moonlight bouncing off the water.

And then I woke up.