Violating my friend

[Reddreamer]

I've been having this dream with some alterations since I was twelve. Small things have changed, like how I and some other characters look in it, but it has more or less been static since it began. I have it once a week, and I had it when I went to sleep last night. The dream starts with me standing outside a cathedral looking up at it. It is built with white marble, and shines under a noonday sun. All around the cathedral is nothing but a peaceful meadow, with a single dirt path running to the doors of the church and seemingly stretching out forever behind me. My shoes are caked with mud, I run a hand over my face and feel that I've let my facial hair become overgrown, and I'm carrying a bag slung over my shoulder. As I continue to look at the church, I begin to hear a hymn of sorts. It's slow, low in tone and in a language I don't understand. Prompted by the hymn, I push open the doors of the cathedral and walk inside. Inside is a multitude of women, all dressed as Catholic Sisters and all singing the same hymn that I heard from the outside. When I look at their faces, I recognize them as all the women I know or have known in my life. The inside of the church is made of the same marble, with a deep red carpet extending from the door all the way up to a golden altar at the head of the church. Behind the altar is an ornate throne, decorated with gold, red silk, and diamonds. Sitting on the throne is a woman who is always in my dreams, with black hair down to her ankles, shocking red eyes, and in this dream she wears a red and white Nun's habit, with her black hair spilling out from the headdress. She sits on the throne, propping her head up with one arm, smirking at me. She is the only one who does not sing. High above the throne is a circular stained glass window, filled with pastel blues, greens, and pinks. The light from the sun outside shines through the window and lands down on the last figure in the dream, the friend I've had since childhood. She is dressed like a Sister as well, though her clothes fit less loosely, the uniform itself is white instead of black, and her head is uncovered, revealing her dark hair to be as messy as it always is. Her white-gloved hands are folded, her eyes are closed, and she has a peaceful expression as if in prayer, completely unlike how she is normally. After a few seconds she opens her eyes, looking right into my own eyes, and begins to sing. Her voice, while still recognizably her voice from reality, is much softer and more pleasant. Her song is faster than the hymn the others have been signing, though the two songs seem to fit together. She begins to sway in time with the rising and falling of the notes, and unfolds her hands, spreading her arms wide. I still don't understand the words, but I believe it sounds beautiful and I become fixated on my friend. I drop my bag and begin to walk forward, like I'm compelled. I stop just a few steps shy of her and continue to watch her until she finishes her song. After she is done and all the singing has stopped, she puts a hand to her chest and takes a deep breath. Then, she turns to me and smiles--which particularly strikes me, as in reality, my friend is something of a grim person and has never smiled to my knowledge. Something boils up inside me, and I push her down on the golden altar, placing my hands on either side of her shoulders. She starts to exhibit more atypical behavior by putting on a frightened face, and crossing her arms over her chest defensively. The crowd of Sisters behind me all gasp in unison, and she begins to fearfully shed tears. I seem to be only spurned on by this, and grab at her clothes beginning to tear at them. As I'm doing this, I lean in to her frightened face, and out of the corner of my eye I can see the woman-in-red's smirk grow into a full smile, bearing her teeth. When her clothes begin to rip, and I'm just about to finally touch her skin, I wake up. Honestly, my dreams tend to extremes of violence, but this dream always leaves me shaken in the morning.

[Coolb3rt]

I was first intimidated to read this whole post, but I became interested not after too long. this is an interesting dream, I have had dreams where I am not myself (although I have no idea if you would do that in real life :\ )

[Reddreamer]

Yeah, you're right about the length. Sorry about that. I try to be exact when relating my dreams to others, and since I've had this dream for so long, I'm pretty familiar with all the little details. Anyway, not being myself is one of the things that really bothers me about this dream, I would never, ever, under any circumstances have sex with, let alone violate, my friend.

[AmyAnn]

You have an outlasting rivalry with the enthroned female [She resembles Medusa, whose crowning glory is her long hair]. Sometimes you struggle to resist seduction by other females, or else, you lose.

[Reddreamer]

You have an outlasting rivalry with the enthroned female [She resembles Medusa, whose crowning glory is her long hair]. Sometimes you struggle to resist seduction by other females, or else, you lose. Explain further, because I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.

[Ethereal]

I'm frightened and aroused.

[AmyAnn]

Sure, I’ll private message my interpretation. Generally speaking, Memory is organized in multiple brain systems. The hippocampus [‘place-learning’] and caudate nucleus [‘response-learning’] are anatomical components of relatively independent memory systems. Affective state can influence the use of different memory systems. The amygdala may mediate this effect of emotion on memory. The amygdala [tags degree of subjective arousal attached to visual / cognitive input] exerts a general modulatory influence on memory storage processes. Affective modulation of multiple memory systems. Mark G Packard and L Cahill. The friend whom you’re not interested in sexing is perceived as the object in the dream due to long-term potentiation. human-memory.net/processes_consolidation.html

[Reddreamer]

Thanks again. I'm not versed in the brain's workings, but this has prompted me to go do some research. I got your private message as well, and it was definitely food for thought. Also, I'll be posting all future stuff to my Dream Journal so as not to clutter the forums.