Thread: I can't stop having these nightmares. Help.

First of all, I'm really sorry I registered and came straight away to do this kind of post. It's not something I'd usually do, but I'm really... needing the help right now.

My lucid dreaming has gone really wrong. Really really damn wrong.

I learned about in this site (can't recall what username I had at the time) years ago, tryin' to use it to stop some nightmares I had by then. I've always been consistently scared senseless of the dark, no matter how calm I am, I suppose it has reached "phobia" status by now, so I tended to sleep uneasy at night or just plain sleep during daytime. In these original nightmares, back when I was 13-14, I'd get killed in very detalied, painful, gore-ish ways, which I won't describe to keep this free of mature content.

After studying dreams and having some honest moments with myself, I realized it's just a manifestation of my low esteem and self-hate. With some support, I was able to beat those nightmares and gain some lucidity, mainly the ability to decide when to end the dream and wake up (does it count as lucidity? I'm not sure, I realize).

I'm 21 now and my recurring nightmare problem keeps coming back. At 17-18-19 the nightmare was about running and never getting somewhere, at 20 about being unable to be with my romantic partner.

Now, the recurring nightmare is more violent and scary than ever. I just don't want to sleep anymore.

It starts as a normal dream, any dream. Then suddenly, everyone of the dream setting starts attacking me, sometimes one by one, sometimes all together. They turn and shove me, yell at me, throw things at me, hurt me, shout psycholigical abuse (things about me I hate), laugh at me, mock me, chase me. Any attemps to defend myself are futile. I try to wake up from it, but all I manage is to start another dream, one where I'm waking up in any bedroom I've ever had (I've lived in about 14 different houses, some issues with money and family), unable to move, in a state between concious and dreaming. And the strangers come in through the door to keep at it. Sometimes silly movie clichés are also thrown in, like deformed faces or bleeding eyes. And the more I try to be lucid about it... well, the more they use it against me. The dream-people shout that I can't and won't wake up.

Maybe it doesn't sound so bad, but it breaks me. It really does. I had it again today and I don't want to go back to sleep. When I woke up in the dark bedroom (12am, I'd gone to sleep at 10am. I got a night job because of my fear of nighttime/the dark), I was unable to move once again. I tried to scream, as this usually makes me able to move or at least wakes up my partner who helps me ease out of it. I became able to move. I tried to wake my partner up, but she started elbowing me a lot (she sleeps very profoundly and do funny things while asleep sometimes, very awake-ish things). And I, fearing that I was still dreaming and that she'd be the next one to attack me, punched her in the arm. I'm also a woman, much smaller than her, my punches are sucky so it wasn't painful, but still... she forgave me but I don't want any more of this to happen.

Any insight on the dream, any clue to interpreting it accurately (I can only blame it on more self-hate) or really anything anyone can do to help... I'd be thankful forever.

As for my fear of the dark, don't mind that. Both me and my girlfriend work night shifts, we sleep during daytime, I'm really happy with that. I can keep a stable life where my phobia doesn't bother me. It's the nightmares that do. Sorry again for all this.

Well you clearly do have self respect issues, or else you wouldn't need someone to tell you this, but... change your damn schedule. Sleep at night, and for 8 hours a night. You're harming yourself by trying to sleep during the day (and probably not getting much sleep to boot).

Oh, that conflicts with work? Then change shifts or quit. Or go crazy. It's up to you what's more important.

You don't have to change work schedules as long as your getting your eight hours sleep a day.
There is only two ways you will get rid of the nightmare, either go to a psychiatrist or learn how to become lucid and deal with the nightmares.
Usually people have a lot of lucids once they start dealing with their nightmares because nightmares are quite scary or thrilling.
You have to deal with the nightmares, try to get good at lucid dreaming and set out to ask the people in your dreams whats wrong. I can tell you that a healthy person doesn't have much nightmares so you must have some kind of psychological problem, either from stress or a childhood problem. You have to realize that you must solve the problem yourself and seek out what the problem is, or if you already know you have to deal with the problem.

^ I'm willing to bet OP doesn't get anywhere near 8 hours, probably more like 3-4.