Thread: Why Wont It Go Away?! Reccuring!! help!!

I dated a guy for about 2 years.. the third year was just off and on..

We did A LOT together. like just about everything. We actually LIVED together for about 4 months until he moved back in with his parents.

I love him still like theres no other. Eventhough we ARE just friends. We still have eachtohers backs and everything as if we are best friends, lol.

I would do anything to be back with him. I know this, He knows this, Our friends know this, Our families know this.

This dream has happened 4 times within the past 3 or 4 days. Different scenarios of where we are at, but SAME scene of people.

(note: I took out all the details to get to the recurring point)

--The Dream--

My ex is going into the Marines so this is a future sort of dream.
I am seeing him again in public for the first time in what seems like a medeokre time frame since he left for bootcamp. 4-5 months.

I go up to give him a hug and im really excited to see him, hoping that maybe we'll "connect" again and have another chance..

but this other woman shows up by his side, and he smiles. There are no more words exchanged, i just start crying, BAWLING, uncontrolably.. and he goes away with her.

Everytime i've had this dream. . . its the SAME woman. Same thing, no words exchaged i just start crying and most of the time, I wake up with a heart ache or crying myself.

Why is he in my dream like this?
I need help with this dream.
I dont want to have it anymore.
but it wont go away.

Anyone wanna help, please?

Hello Cherry

Yes, to have basically the same dream 4 times kinda makes you want to listen.

Often people dream of friends and loved ones and then wake up feeling a loss or yearning and an emotional feeling that stays all day. Yours is different. You feel hurt. Like your man has rejected you. But remember it's not him, it's something about you that you're dreaming of. You have two parts to your unconscious in this drama - one you desire and the other a competitor. (It's like the oedipal drama of wanting your opposite-sex parent for yourself but the same-sex parent already has him/her)

Your dream is telling you that you can't access a part of you that connects to male-ness. Your "inner man" if you like that essentially influences how you idealise men in real life. (Don't worry men do the same with women).

So, how to make yourself whole again. First, remember that both these characters are parts of you. Second, what do each of them need from you (as opposed from each other). What does "he" want to hear and what does "she" want to hear?

It does sound to me that there's a repressed (female) part of you that feels very secure with men, implying that you're not like that in real life. Perhaps "secure" is the wrong word, but try to think how "her" character differs from yours.

There's no formula to interpreting dreams. What I give here is just one possible way of looking at it. The meanings ultimately come from you and your relation to the characters in your dreams. And everything in your dream is you - not anyone else. So play around with these ideas and see what sticks.

well, thank you burned up. thats very nice of you to give me that view. Yah, i dont know why i was so sad in the dreams. maybe because i love him so much? I mean, what if that woman with him is really me?? i dont know. haha it just keeps happening over and over again. Maybe its doing that so i can figure out whatever it means.

Originally Posted by cherrybomb149

well, thank you burned up. thats very nice of you to give me that view. Yah, i dont know why i was so sad in the dreams. maybe because i love him so much? I mean, what if that woman with him is really me?? i dont know. haha it just keeps happening over and over again. Maybe its doing that so i can figure out whatever it means.

Yes, it's very confusing and the answer is unlikely to come by way of me or anyone luckily managing to give you the exact interpretation. The best we can do is to work through it and find what meanings work for you.

You ask "is she really me". Well, I would argue that she represents a part of you. Like part of you (that isn't conscious) is still very attached to him and another (that is) is in tears. One possible meaning could be that you are threatened not by someone in real life from taking him but from your own attachment to him. Like you're your own enemy. Kinda paradoxical I know.