Happiness & contentment

[Needcatscan]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBNKEi1a9-w So Paulsego, my favorite of the youtube atheists, says he is not happy a whole lot because of discontentment with the state of the world and stuff. After thinking a bit about it I think I've come to the conclusion that 99% of people are unhappy/discontent a good majority of the time. I remember when I was a christian when I felt this way I could always think "Well this world is only in passing, I'll be eternally happy in heaven" or something similar. Now like Paul, I have a good life; a loving wife (one year anniversary tomorrow), finishing my B.S. degree in December, nice house, etc. Yet I find myself discontent often, usually do to feeling like I'm missing something. Of course religion preys on this feeling saying that it is my "God-shaped hole". I am not naive enough to believe that anymore, yet at the same time I almost wish it was true because I had something to fall back on when I felt discontent. What do I fall back on now? I have my family, but they are not a "fall back on", they are an all the time comfort. But I don't think anything or anyone can really fulfill this feeling of discontentment. Is it grass-is-greener syndrome? Is it just human nature? Is it caused only by desire for something different or better? And if that's the case then is Buddhism the best source of inner peace? Input would be appreciated. I think paulsego did a good thing in admitting that contentment comes in small doses for him and made me wonder how many people do (and more pertinent, are willing to admit) that true contentment is not something that is often achieved. And the flip side; if you do have true contentment more often than not, how? All religious answers are welcome, just don't expect me to be willing to believe in a fairytale.

[Taosaur]

Yes, Buddhism is the answer Really though, if the question you've reached the point of asking is, "why do we suffer, and is there an end to it?" that's precisely the question the Buddha set out to answer, and did answer to many millions' satisfaction. Google 'Four Noble Truths' for an introduction to the Buddha's teachings on suffering, or check out accesstoinsight.org for a variety of resources derived from the Pali Canon, believed to be the closest source text to the Buddha's original teachings. I also recommend The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, and The Way of Siddhartha as introductory texts. Also, seek direct meditation instruction if possible--if you're in or near any metropolitan center, you can likely find some kind of dharma center. Myself, I've been an acknowledged (and sometimes even practicing ) Buddhist for about ten years. All I can tell you is it's a long road, and the stated goal may be nothing more than a teaching method, but the scenery is great.

[juroara]

forget religion. forget science. in science happiness isn't even real, its just a chemical reaction. see how happy that made you? go for spirituality. there are many forms, but all spirituality will eventually lead you to the same goal, purpose and happiness in life. on a spiritual level, seek out raising your consciousness and becoming one with the universe *or God, which ever*. live in the now. take the reigns of your life and recognize you are alone hold the keys to your own happiness or misery. heaven is within you. not above you. on a more science level, keep learning and expanding your knowledge, while recognizing you are an emotional being. science itself will never make you happy, but the activity of continuously learning expands your consciousness. im not the happiest person on earth, but I am easily twice, three times the happier since I stopped being a traditional catholic to a more gnostic new age christian. its getting to the point where I am close to the root of all my unhappiness, when before I didn't even realize I was unhappy. there is a level of anticipation of identifying it and understanding, I can be free from it. im not talking about depression. im talking about a very subtle dullness. a drab. a burden.

[Taosaur]

dukkha: chronic frustration; the dissatisfaction inherent in cyclic existence.

[LucidFlanders]

Things don't bring happiness. You can be rich, have tons of power, and all the women you want and you still wont be happy. I have no idea what happiness is because i seem to be the typical kind of person who thinks everything will be fine if i have things. Most likely what will make you happy is knowing yourself, if you don't know yourself, how can you know others? like they say if you can't love yourself, you can't love others. Watch a movie called peacefull warrior to see what i am saying, as i am no expert. Then again nobody is an expert, lifes an expierience you can't study in college.

[Taosaur]

I can't say it's a properly Buddhist statement, but it's extraordinary just to be alive. It doesn't depend on circumstances in the least. Just the breath, if you pay full attention to it, is endlessly fascinating. How much more the full spectrum of contemporary life, experienced fully? It doesn't need any narrative or meaning--it's off the hook, ecstatic, just as it is.

[Xaqaria]

I don't think the answer to this sort of thing is necessarily based in any doctrine, be it religious or scientific (or both) in nature. I think the way to happiness and contentment is too simple for most people to really understand; and thats because the best way to become happy is to just do it. I've told this to people before and the most common response is "it doesn't work like that" but it really does and the only thing that keeps most people from accomplishing it is they never actually just do it. Once you truly convince yourself that you can be happy no matter what, but that you can also do anything and achieve anything that will make you happier, you'll start to realize that the only reason why you haven't achieved those things is simply that; you haven't even tried to do it yet. Most people can talk about going to the store to buy a candy bar as something to just do, without really having to go on a search for the process by which it should be done. Happiness and contentment are as easy to achieve as a candy bar. If I want a candy bar, I go get one. If I want happiness, I go get it. If I find myself to be unhappy, I know there is a reason why I must want to be that way, otherwise I go out and get me some happiness.

[LucidFlanders]

Probably a fear of failure. People say it does not work that way, or they can't do it because they want to are afraid of it failing.

[psychology student]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBNKEi1a9-w So Paulsego, my favorite of the youtube atheists, says he is not happy a whole lot because of discontentment with the state of the world and stuff. After thinking a bit about it I think I've come to the conclusion that 99% of people are unhappy/discontent a good majority of the time. I remember when I was a christian when I felt this way I could always think "Well this world is only in passing, I'll be eternally happy in heaven" or something similar. Now like Paul, I have a good life; a loving wife (one year anniversary tomorrow), finishing my B.S. degree in December, nice house, etc. Yet I find myself discontent often, usually do to feeling like I'm missing something. Of course religion preys on this feeling saying that it is my "God-shaped hole". I am not naive enough to believe that anymore, yet at the same time I almost wish it was true because I had something to fall back on when I felt discontent. What do I fall back on now? I have my family, but they are not a "fall back on", they are an all the time comfort. But I don't think anything or anyone can really fulfill this feeling of discontentment. Is it grass-is-greener syndrome? Is it just human nature? Is it caused only by desire for something different or better? And if that's the case then is Buddhism the best source of inner peace? Input would be appreciated. I think paulsego did a good thing in admitting that contentment comes in small doses for him and made me wonder how many people do (and more pertinent, are willing to admit) that true contentment is not something that is often achieved. And the flip side; if you do have true contentment more often than not, how? All religious answers are welcome, just don't expect me to be willing to believe in a fairytale. And the penny drops.

[Carôusoul]

And the penny drops. You really are just not a very nice person, are you.

[psychology student]

You really are just not a very nice person, are you. I try my best.

[ChaybaChayba]

I'm perfectly happy with my life. Each time I look into the future and see all the possibilities I even get more happier ^^. Actually, I can't find any reason at all why I shouldn't be happy.

[Needcatscan]

I appreciate all the replies (except yours psych student, but what else is new?) and I think I'm going to start looking more into Buddhism and meditation. I've bought books on Buddhism and read them before and wasn't too terribly impressed because it throws in all the BS about kharma and reincarnation which, due to me being rationalist, I don't buy for a second. But I like some of the other aspects of it. And Taosaur, I live in a country hick town in Virginia, there aren't any dharma centers around here Either you're a bible-banging literally-interpreting Christian or you worship Satan, no middle ground. It's amazing my university is a mere half hour from this black hole of ignorance. Anyway, could you recommend a good website to read up on meditation and enlightenment?

[psychology student]

Sorry, scratch that. I want to withdraw my original comment. Instead, and in reply to your original post, I should have replied, "Chickens come home to roost".

[Taosaur]

I appreciate all the replies (except yours psych student, but what else is new?) and I think I'm going to start looking more into Buddhism and meditation. I've bought books on Buddhism and read them before and wasn't too terribly impressed because it throws in all the BS about kharma and reincarnation which, due to me being rationalist, I don't buy for a second. But I like some of the other aspects of it. And Taosaur, I live in a country hick town in Virginia, there aren't any dharma centers around here Either you're a bible-banging literally-interpreting Christian or you worship Satan, no middle ground. It's amazing my university is a mere half hour from this black hole of ignorance. Anyway, could you recommend a good website to read up on meditation and enlightenment? I'll stick with my above recommendations. As for reincarnation, while there are folk traditions in Buddhism asserting more or less the kind of 1:1 transmigration Westerners think of as reincarnation, the Buddha Sakyamuni refuted, or at least reformed this belief, which was nearly universal in India in his time. He taught rebirth, contingent upon the impermanence and interpenetration of all phenomena, including human beings. All of the above rely on an understanding that neither you nor any other form have any intrinsic identity; we rely entirely upon the total field of being for anything that we are, and there's no way out. Moreover, the mistaken view that we and the forms around us have some inherent existence, some identity of our own, is the source of thrishna--grasping, clinging, thirst, desire--which is in turn the source of dukkha: dis-ease, suffering in the broadest sense, the dissatisfaction inherent in cyclic existence. Karma at its base is no more than the assertion that actions have consequences. It's habit, cause and effect. Again, all things interpenetrate and nothing escapes. There's no magical mechanism to it, just the acceptance that, as apple trees rarely bear oranges, murder rarely leads to well being, theft rarely to solvency, and lying rarely to clear understanding.

[Gabriel S]

http://vimeo.com/channels/meditation I found some great videos that suits this topic perfectly. A lot of helpful things for dealing with life and become truly happy. They talk about meditation, anger, stress, relations, contentment, and giving. I´d recommend everybody to watch them!

[Koalaman]

I don't think the answer to this sort of thing is necessarily based in any doctrine, be it religious or scientific (or both) in nature. I think the way to happiness and contentment is too simple for most people to really understand; and thats because the best way to become happy is to just do it. I've told this to people before and the most common response is "it doesn't work like that" but it really does and the only thing that keeps most people from accomplishing it is they never actually just do it. Once you truly convince yourself that you can be happy no matter what, but that you can also do anything and achieve anything that will make you happier, you'll start to realize that the only reason why you haven't achieved those things is simply that; you haven't even tried to do it yet. Most people can talk about going to the store to buy a candy bar as something to just do, without really having to go on a search for the process by which it should be done. Happiness and contentment are as easy to achieve as a candy bar. If I want a candy bar, I go get one. If I want happiness, I go get it. If I find myself to be unhappy, I know there is a reason why I must want to be that way, otherwise I go out and get me some happiness. It seems happiness requires some self-confidence then. So that you have the courage to get the candy bar.

[MementoMori]

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