I Give You Spatula

[Siиdяed]

I give you spatula: ...4 meringues: ...and a matchbox containing 50 waterproof matches. You are dropped in the Amazonian jungle naked. Using these items and your own wits, devise a way in which you could catch and eat a monkey. There is no prize.

[Man of Steel]

Holy crap this is an easy one! I wouldn't even need the matches. I'll let someone else try to answer it first; I don't want to finish the thread too early with my obviously superior intellect, wilderness survival skills, and problem-solving abilities.

[Sandform]

Holy crap this is an easy one! I wouldn't even need the matches. I'll let someone else try to answer it first; I don't want to finish the thread too early with my obviously superior intellect, wilderness survival skills, and problem-solving abilities. You could eat the monkey without cooking it? Eww... I would dig a hole in the ground with the spatula, sprinkle some fairy dust on the ground, and then throw all but one of the meringes into the hole. Lure a monkey and then throw 6 lit matches on his fur while he is in the hole. Soon the rain would come and I would look up and open my mouth until I drowned. Furthermore Sprites would come and feast on my soul as I drifted into Nirvana where naked dancing High Elves sprinked cooter seed all over the Earth untill apples fall from space into a pool of selena tapes.

[dragonoverlord]

Umm ok here's what i'd do. I take the Merinque thingies (i never heard of that stuff before). Take a few, burn em in a fire i built with my matches. Monkey comes, smells something oddly delecious yet foreign(Im hiding behind some trees as this happens). As the Monkey comes closer to take a look i go all Hidden Dragon crouching tiger on its ass and beat it to death with my spatuala. Then i take carve it up with a sharpened rock, start fire with the matches and a bit of improvisation too, Cook it on fire and then go to sleep with a full stomach under the stars assuming the jungle is not so thick that it obscures my view.

[Sornaensis]

I would shoot the monkey with the gun I had hidden in my ass and fry is with my acid spit. I would then feast on it.

[ExoByte]

I give them to MacGyver and let him deal with it. Once the monkey is caught, I kill MacGyver. Because I don't want to share.

[Sornaensis]

Go figure ExoByte wants to run around naked in the AMazon jungle naked with MacGyver.

[Siиdяed]

Who wouldn't?

[archdreamer]

I could catch a monkey - if I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison off deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself, you’ll be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times.

[Siиdяed]

I could catch a monkey - if I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison off deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself, you’ll be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times. You win the game.

[JET73L]

There are multiple ways I could do this. A. Use the meringues, one at a time, to lure a monkey into range that you can smack it with the spatula. THen build up a pile of firewood, light it with the matches, and cook and eat the monkey. (takes mor time, but probably more ethical) B. Eat meringues. Light the forest on fire. After it goes out, sift through the charred and collapsed branches for a roast monkey. Hack pieces off with spatual for dinner. (proibably inethical, but does not require the same skill as option A) Or even C. Invent a new language in which the word for meringue is monkey. Maybe use matches to write language in dirt. Flip "monkey" into air using spatula, and catch it when it comes down. Eat.

[slayer]

My way: Find some rocks and place them in a circle. Get some grass and twigs and light them on fire with the matches. Grab a stick and put some of those meringues things on them and set them over the fire and walk off. I would stand behind some bushes watching the fire and stuff, to make sure I didn't burn down the forest, and wait for a monkey to come by. I would slowly walk out with a giant rock and sneak up behind the monkey, and bash it's head in. I would then procede to use the spatula and use it as a cutting thing and to hold the monkies organs over the fire.

[Man of Steel]

You could eat the monkey without cooking it? Eww... I never said I'd eat the monkey without cooking it. I don't need matches to make a fire.

[GestaltAlteration]

Oh, it's Siиdяed. Hai.

[Siиdяed]

Hai.

[ClouD]

Oh, it's Siиdяed. Hai. Hi Gestalt.

[Siиdяed]

Oh, hai ClouD.

[ClouD]

Hai.

[Xox]

How cute. I'd get close enough to the monkey to throw a match at it, then I'd dump it in a lake and eat it. Burned monkey yum. Not. So I'd eat the meringues with a spatula. Then I'd burn myself. End.

[slayer]

Actually...I'd just use the onion things and light them on fire and start smelling them and use them as a lucid induction thing and pass out from the smoke and have a dream about eating a monkey then wake up to find out I've burnt down half the forset. I would then procede to chop my arm off with the spatula because I only dreamed of eating the monkey.

[Siиdяed]

...4 meringues... ...the onion things... ...meringues... ...onion things... ...meringues... ...onion... ...meringues... ...onion... Meringue is a type of dessert made from whipped egg whites and caster sugar. Yes. You would use the onion things.

[slayer]

I know my food don't I?

[Man of Steel]

How does one not know what a meringue is, anyway?

[nitsuJ]

I give you spatula: ...4 meringues: ...and a matchbox containing 50 waterproof matches. You are dropped in the Amazonian jungle naked. Using these items and your own wits, devise a way in which you could catch and eat a monkey. There is no prize. i'd build an iron man costume out of them and shoot the monkey with an energy projectile and eat it.

[JET73L]

i'd build an iron man costume out of them and shoot the monkey with an energy projectile and eat it. How? There is no iron. The spatula pappears to be aluminum, the meringues are made from egg and sugar, and the matches are made from wood, sulfur, and, I believe, some sort of nitrate. (You could make a Splinteryaluminum Man costume, or simply skip the costume, scrape the chemicals off all but one of the matchheads, fill ameringue with the chemicals, and then set it so that when the monkey picked up the meringue, the remaining match would scrape against the surface torn from the side of the matchbox, light the meringe, and act like a tiny little anti-monkey grenade. I think there3 is a way to treat aluminum for explosive oxidatiuon, buit I don;t recall if that can be done with a box of matches, some meringues, and a plastic spatula head)