Thread: How do I hide a dead body?

My friend wants to know.

Fire. Try burning it.

>:U

Sharks. Think about Natalie Holloway. I have to keep hearing about that nonsense on the tv because she made such good shark bait.

If you your friend is in a jam, you can hide it in the mattress or the box spring.

Just don't try to burn it.

Edit: Haha, no-name got in seconds before me.

Lye is your friend.

Since ClouD has the better grammar, I didn't try burning it.

I mean my friend didn't. Any more suggestions?

EDIT: Oh shit, replies.

1) Sharks. My friend can't. No sharks around here.

2) Mattress. Also cannot. I've already got one in there. I mean he has, yeah.

Think harder guys. I need some help here, not these half-assed suggestions. By that of course I mean my friend needs help.

If you put the body in a building and then torch the building, you're in the clear. They don't have a good profile for an arsonist, so it'll end up going cold. The case, that is.

>:U


I'm liking the mattress idea... Maybe, stuff it? Make a nice throw rug?

Mmm... Toss it in the nearest body of water?

You could have it cremated. Pretend it's your dear auntie. OR have it turned into a diamond and sell the diamond to someone.

EDIT
Teeth are good for cutting. Also, you could get the fat guy with swords for hands from 300.

Maybe I my friend can cut it up and stick it in the mattress. It's just that I've he's got nothing to cut it up with. Ideas?

EDIT: Fast replies, guys. Nice to see such enthusiasm. Bennington, I can't do the building idea. I've already been arrested for that kind of thing. And Del, the nearest body of water is so clogged up with bodies there's no room any-more.

Also, for that above paragraph, substitute 'my friend' for every 'I' I wrote. Because it's my friends problem.

Go to a door... Put a limb through, and just slam the door continuously. Eventually, a limb will come off.

Ventilation system, hydrochloric acid, bathtub, plastic sheets (to cover everything beforehand) and full protective wear. After, the bones should be cleaned, ground down and then scattered into the sea.

Cleaning up the mess you'll need to drain, then sponge the acid (while wearing protective gear) as well as disposing of the fleshy pieces. Once the sheets are *relatively* dry, then fold them up and place everything into a bag. Add gasoline, and set on fire in a place that no-one will be able to observe the smoke, best at night. See to it that the entire package leaves nothing but ash and mucky plastic, then drop any remaining stuff into the ocean, making sure it does not look conspicuous.

Use acid cleaner for any excess in your bathroom, and then bleach clean.

keep him in a freezer and feed it to your dogs

Hey, who banned that Kiza guy? He was pretty great.

I just posted with Dexter to say you should probably ban me, Dexter, as well. That'd be smart.

Oh Fuck. Let's hope you don't get a permaban...

No, it's not. It's 1 week, and I'm fine with it. I broke the rules.

Now for god-sake ban Dexter.

No, don't!

Originally Posted by DexterMorgan

No, it's not. It's 1 week, and I'm fine with it. I broke the rules.

Now for god-sake ban Dexter.

I know it's 1 week, don't go circumventing it... can't anyway ^^

Originally Posted by Kiza

My friend wants to know.

If you're really fucking serious (which I doubt you are), the best possible way is to cut the body into several pieces. *sidenote- I'm a little fcked up and I"m sick of correcting the large amount of typos I'm making, so bear with me*

Once you cut the body into the several pieces, don't do some dumb shit like hide it in your matress, house, or whatever. Wtf. They'll get a warrant and bust your ass. Feed it to a wild animal. If yu live in the south, do like those crazy mofo rednecks down here. Feed it to an alligator. It doesn't have to be a croc, but you get the idea. Feed the shit to a wild animal. Real life isn't like CSI, most of the time they don't do badass investigations and any random person. Hsve a decent alabi, (have friend or anyone else you trust or can trick (and/or pay off) into testifyingh for you). Wear gloves, and something to protect your hair. Even if they do a bunch of hi tech sci fi shit to find your dna (which they most likely won't if you live in a country area), just make sure you wear gloves and shit. THose latex doctor gloves or whatever so you can burn them. If the police or any other detective type people talk to you, act surprised and deny everything. Don't lie. Just bend the truth a little. Give the cops a little slightly irrelevant info to throw them off. Don't just straight up lie though. That will make yo more suspicious. ALWAYS wipe down anything you touched, burn anything that can be tied to the crime. If I forgot anything (which I might have, I had a bit to drink, and some other shit, tonight), just be smart about it. Those shows like cops and csi and shit rlrealy scare people about getting busted for murder. It's seriously not like that, unless you kill someone important.

A little known fact is that a lot of well thought out murders for some average Joe never end up solved. I hope you're joking and didn't really kill someone thoguhj. Also I am not condoning ANY act like this. Just some fun informational info for studies and shit. Just don't be stupid. Have fun. GOod luck. Make babies.

Peace dude

******* This isn't from personal experience. I may or may not know several shady person(s). ANd I have most ddefinitely have never done this.

Originally Posted by blahaha

If you're really fucking serious (which I doubt you are), the best possible way is to cut the body into several pieces. *sidenote- I'm a little fcked up and I"m sick of correcting the large amount of typos I'm making, so bear with me*

Once you cut the body into the several pieces, don't do some dumb shit like hide it in your matress, house, or whatever. Wtf. They'll get a warrant and bust your ass. Feed it to a wild animal. If yu live in the south, do like those crazy mofo rednecks down here. Feed it to an alligator. It doesn't have to be a croc, but you get the idea. Feed the shit to a wild animal. Real life isn't like CSI, most of the time they don't do badass investigations and any random person. Hsve a decent alabi, (have friend or anyone else you trust or can trick (and/or pay off) into testifyingh for you). Wear gloves, and something to protect your hair. Even if they do a bunch of hi tech sci fi shit to find your dna (which they most likely won't if you live in a country area), just make sure you wear gloves and shit. THose latex doctor gloves or whatever so you can burn them. If the police or any other detective type people talk to you, act surprised and deny everything. Don't lie. Just bend the truth a little. Give the cops a little slightly irrelevant info to throw them off. Don't just straight up lie though. That will make yo more suspicious. ALWAYS wipe down anything you touched, burn anything that can be tied to the crime. If I forgot anything (which I might have, I had a bit to drink, and some other shit, tonight), just be smart about it. Those shows like cops and csi and shit rlrealy scare people about getting busted for murder. It's seriously not like that, unless you kill someone important.

A little known fact is that a lot of well thought out murders for some average Joe never end up solved. I hope you're joking and didn't really kill someone thoguhj. Also I am not condoning ANY act like this. Just some fun informational info for studies and shit. Just don't be stupid. Have fun. GOod luck. Make babies.

Peace dude

******* This isn't from personal experience. I may or may not know several shady person(s). ANd I have most ddefinitely have never done this.

Only on dreamviews.

What if Kiza really did kill someone.. How would you feel giving him advice : /

Like a fucking hero.

Clear all fingerprints off it would be start. Get yourself some gloves and make sure you're wearing old clothes - you'll need gloves with those too to eliminate any traces of fingerprints.

Place the body somewhere in your house... just anywhere conspicuous. Smash your door in (make sure no one see's you do that) and go for a stroll. When you come back, you'll see someones broke into your place and randomly dropped a dead body in your front room. You should call the police about that.

I mean... your friend should.